Monday, April 6, 2009

'Cross-Examination' By Adesina Ogunlana

In the temple of justice, when you want to ferret out some facts or truths - truths unpleasant to your opponents, the minister you press to work is cross-examination. Truths as we all know, have a tendency of embarrassing us, beaming on us a penetrating search light of probity on our actions, inactions, even intentions and motives showing to the whole world our guilt and culpability.

A man said to be guilty of any infraction, particularly moral ones, is likened immediately to a toad - a smelly, dirty, ugly creature. When a man turns toad, society frowns on him and distances itself from his presence.

To avoid the pain and embarrassment of societal rejection and multiple sanctions, only very few people readily own up to their mis-deeds.
That is why, for example, a thief answers the name “Honest Joe,” a murderer may well be a doctor and a serial rapist can be found complaining of loss of libido. In short, people hardly confess to their true nature but may project the very opposite characteristics. Getting the truth therefore out of a person determined otherwise, especially in the hostile and combative atmosphere of the court room is quite an up-hill task. It is as easy as milking a roaring lioness!

Cross-examination is a game of wit, transcending mere intellectual keen-ness, but involving emotional stability, physical stamina and mastery of human and environment psychology. Even before the hunt (the cross-examination) starts both the hunter (cross-examiner) and the hunted (the cross-examinee) know what they both want. The hunter wants the game, the hunted wants to keep the game to himself, for all time.

Secondly, the hunted knows that great is his loss peradventure, the ‘game’ should be taken away from him, much to the great advantage of his opponent.

Thirdly, the hunted (though not always) comes prepared to thwart the ambition of the hunter. The hunted often has a coach, who would have sharpened his wits, boosted his confidence, brightened his eyes and armed him with an unseen roadmap to guide him away from the booby traps of the hunter.

When a cross-examiner faces a battle ready cross-examinee, the situation can be likened to a hungry lion facing a large mountain gorilla.
The result is unpredictable. So how can one most successfully overcome a witness of falsehood in the court-room?

Brute force, relentless charging, and direct attack hardly does the trick. To such tactics, the prepared witness has only one answer – flat, plausible denials.


I teach you a better way: marry the gentility of a dove with the sagacity of a serpent in handling your quarry. Your seeming foolishness and weakness would have done irreparable damage before Mr. Hunted realizes that the foundation of his castle of mendacity has sunk well below sea-level.
This is the “A-O-MERIN-JOBA theory of cross-examination. Sorry did you ask. “What is a o merin joba? Ask any true son or daughter of Adam, sorry, Oduduwa.


Saturday, April 4, 2009

'Government As Fraud' By Adesina Ogunlana

It is quite fashionable, in Lagos State now to the fan of Babatunde Obamaraji Fashola Esq. S.A.N. Obamaraji is the Governor of Lagos State.

'The River Died' By Adesina Ogunlana

It was late in the evening of Monday last week, and I was wending my way home when they met me. I had just alighted from my mechanised chariot and took some steps towards the gate of my domicile when I heard a very loud hiss, behind and around me.

'Who Seats Where?" By Adesina Ogunlana

I was not there. But then I was also there. You see wherever a gecko is, there also my spirit is. So I was there when a mild but important drama happened in the court of Honourable Justice Ojikutu-Oshode on Wednesday 18th February 2009.
The drama involved two lawyers and one judge. Since only one judge sits at the High Court, the identity of the judge in question is obvious.
The first lawyer is a very senior member of the legal profession, actually a house-hold name – Chief G.O.K Ajayi S.A.N. The second lawyer is a state counsel.
As we all know, State Counsel especially those in Lagos and not properly advised, love sitting in the inner-bars of the courts. However according to my source, the lady lawyer in question used to come over to the inner-bar to sit mostly on the invitation of another well known lawyer, Alhaji Femi Okunnu S.A.N, who was in the same matter with Chief Ajayi.
On the 18th February 2009, Chief G.O.K Ajayi was in Justice Ojikutu-Oshode’s court. The lady state counsel was equally present. As usual, the lady soon found herself a spot in the inner bar to sit.
Chief Ajayi on this very occasion raised an objection to her presence in the inner bar, since she was not a silk. To Chief Ajayi’s surprise however, the judge said it was within her ladyship discretion to allow Counsel to sit in the inner bar, even when no silk.


A miffed Chief Ajayi demurred but the honourable judge insisted on her point, where upon Chief Ajayi moved his noble presence from the inner bar and chose a spot in the outer bar to carry on his work.

The great man’s silent and dignified protest was effective, destablising the composure of both the presiding judge and the “upstart” state counsel. The lady counsel, as if stung, packed her bags hastily and moved of the narrow corridor of privilege to the wide expanse of the commonality of the outer bar where she properly belonged.
Noticing her compliance, Chief Ajayi, as gentle as ever came back to the inner bar.
All this drama took place under six minutes. Moral: you don’t need to raise your voice to make a point.
N.B:
1. A registrar of the Ojikutu-Oshode court, has related an official version of the drama to one of our geckos. According to the gentleman, the state counsel was invited to the inner bar, only for the purpose of using the microphone mounted there (for electronic recording) and that once Chief Ajayi protested, the honourable presiding judge directed the state counsel to vacate the inner bar. I take that for what it was – an official version.
Well, in gecko land official versions of any event are eaten with large spoonfuls of salt.
2. for those who may not know of all counsel in our Ministries of Justice only the Honourable Attorneys-General, Solicitors-General, and Directors of Public Prosecution, silk or no, that can sit in the inner bars of our courts.

'June 8 1998 Re visted' By Adesina Ogunlana

There is, so said Solomon David, the third King of old Israel, a time to live and a time to die. People gets born everyday and likewise they die, daily. But when a person shall become indifferent to oxygen is a day nobody knows.

This Death takes his victims, most of the times unawares. A man may just take a stroll down his street, only for him to return to his abode a corpse. Courtesy, the Grain Reaper.
And just about anything can serve as an Eviction order the mortal, sending him willy-nilly down the River styx. A feather has knocked down a giant before, not to talk of a sneeze.
A wink, perharps from a femine fatale, has done deadly damage. That was why a sage I known sang this song.

Iku O, Iku O,
Maderu iku bami
Igbese ni’ku je
Gbogbo wa la ma san
Olowo aiye aku
Talaka ilu olo
Ologbon a ye n’ku
Ka to wa so mugo
Ajaja awon ti won
lawon to ni le
gbogbo won lo ma ku o
gbere!
Death, Oh, Death
Don’t threaten with Death
Is death not a general debt
That all mortals must re-pay
The wealthy do die
Certainly, so too the wretched
The wise and the clever perish
Not to mention scatter-brains
In particular those who rejoice
And best of being principalities
In this world
All will succumb to death all!

Dying, being so common-place is no big deal, after all. How the society receives the news an individual’s-death is a different thing all-together.
Generally as a role, the society regrets the exit of a member it considers useful or promising such exits are marked with palpable display of sorrow. But when the story is otherwise, society rejoices and heaves sighs of relief. “Ketekete ku, iso pin” (Good riddance to bad rubbish) they say.
On June 8 1998, when the news of the sudden death of the “Maximum Ruler General Sanni Abacha filtered to town, Majority of Nigerians, became intoxicated with exhilarating joy! Spontaneous celebrates broke out in many parts of the country, almost as if everybody had become jackpot millionaires.
The reason was not far fetched-when alive, the despotic and murderous Abacha was a terror to his nation.
Last Monday (23rd February 2009) was a day of general contagion of excitement and happiness in the Lagos state judiciary and the bar. Some people were so happy that they walked about on their heads.
I made a discreet enquiry as to the cause of popular delirium and discovered that the cause of the mass happiness was the cover story of an “Obnoxious Publication”
I went to read the story myself and I couldn’t understand why people were besides themselves with excitement. To me it was actually a small story of a Chief Judge who will soon leave office ahead of his due time.
Pray what’s so special about that?

'The Dangerous Stream' By Adesina Ogunlana

There is a mystery stream in the “Compound B” of the Ikeja High Court. The stream in specific terms is located in the very slight depression between the stalls of law books and paraphernalia sellers and the entrance of the new repositioned court of Honourable Justice Kazeem Alogba. The mystery about this river does not lie in its source or emergence, even though it was suddenly one recent morning, that eyes opened only to find that a stream had sprouted up in that very place. The mystery, or at least one aspect of the mystery of this stream is that it is an on and off creature or better still, it is a week-day body of water. What I mean as this, from Monday to Friday, the stream, never more than eight feet long at the most could be clearly seen (albeit with a shudder) covering an area that cannot seat two cows comfortably. But on week ends, (Saturdays and Sundays) and up to 8.00a.m on Monday mornings, the stream disappears.
The other aspect of the mystery about this stream is that, even though it publicly and brazenly even, harbours colourful but deadly enemies of human beings such as cholera, alias ‘mass killer’, dysentery alias “tear stomach” typhoid a.k.a “the finisher” meningitis a.k.a “The stiffener” etc passersby, including supposedly learned folks march merrily even sometimes stamp over this deadly stream with little or no concern. How blind, even plain stupid human beings can get.


Worried about the existence of this very dangerous, little stream, I conducted an investigation as to its source and how it can be eradicated. This is what I discovered:- the stream is the creation of certain priests in the temples of justice located in the area. These priests are assistants of various categories of the Chief priests in these temples. These priests often go to some small rooms to off-load, after quaffing some liquids and eating some sacrifices in the line of duty.

When they off load, some of their rejects instead of going to oblivion in the depths of the earth, escape through some cracks in the conduit pipes and seep out onto the wide palms of the earth. These priests do not work or come to their temples on Saturdays and Sundays, hence the drying up of the stream on these two days!


This Monday morning, I am sure that our sight will again be assaulted with the greenish and brownish coloured stream. What can be done about this odious stream? One would have suggested that a ban on eating, drinking and “off-loading” while at work be placed on the gods responsible for the odious little stream, but then is it not true that to pass waste is human?
Thus the only viable solution is the immediate and adequate repair of the sewage system. If it is only shameful to see the excreta and other bodily wastes of priest, one might not have minded so much. But the presence of these odious matters in the open, as you all know is highly dangerous.


A temple of justice should not be turned into embassies to the cemetery. So let the employers of these priest (the Lagos State Judiciary) take action. Prompt, effective action. Cholera, typhoid, dysentery, meningitis etc are not the best of companies for men. So there!