'There They Go Again" By Adesina Ogunlana

I was one of several lawyers who went dutifully to Honourable Justice Gbajabiamila’s court on Wednesday the 3^rd October 2012. For we and our clients had business there. In my case my client was one of eight persons who have been facing trial for the past ten years for armed robbery. Thus for a whole decade his home has been the Maximum place, Kirikiri Lagos.

At about 9.40 am, the Registrar of the court and the only functionary of this particular temple of justice that was visibly existing in the court, cleared his sub-judicial throat and made the portentous statement:

“Gentlemen of the Bar. The court will not be sitting. The judge is dealing with N.J.C returns. Please listen as I call the cases for today and take dates.” The response from the Bar and gallery included the following: hisses, sighs of resignation, sheer indifference, fulminations, shock and bitterness. I personally felt cheated, humiliated and ill-used, considering that I had vaulted all the way from Isolo to the Mainland and shunned some early morning labours of love in a bid to make the court in time. It had been four months since we last came to the court and had high hopes that the trial of the matter would continue today.

Alas, worse was to come. When it was our turn to take dates, I told the Registrar that there was no need to get new dates since we had two more trial dates already fixed. But when I enquired whether the court would sit on the next given date which was just two days away (Friday 5^th October) the Vice-regal replied with a poignant and pregnant rebuke, “Am I the Judge?”

After a few minutes of waiting, I decided to seek the answer from the honourable judge himself, who should be in chambers, ostensibly very busy dealing with “NJC returns.” At the expense of holding his court.

So with a few other lawyers in the matter in tow, we made the short pilgrimage to the judge’s chambers. To see a judge, you need to pass through his secretaries and other staff. However we discovered to our chagrin that at 10.05a.m on this wonderful day, the office of the judge’s staff was firmly locked. The great men and women were yet to come to work.

We looked out for the judge, but the judex was certainly far away from the court. In the light of the foregoing, I beg to pose the following questions:

1.     Is it right or proper for “NJC returns” to supersede court sittings for the judge or magistrate?

2.     Where is the judge expected to be on a work day, when not sick or on an outside official engagement: home, office, church/mosque/shrine or any other place?

3.     Should judges deal with NJC returns at home or in the office?

4.     Why is it that the long period of vacation and the two or three weeks of indeterminable nature after the end of vacation are not enough for a judge to have dealt with NJC  returns?

5.     How fair is to lawyers, witnesses and litigants alike to make them come to court from all directions of the wind only to learn in the very court that the court will not sit, especially these days that most counsel file their processes with their phone numbers and e-mail addresses stated thereon?

 

Whether Lagos judicial authorities like to hear it or not, there is a clear culture of judicial impunity and inefficiency rampant in the system. For example only about a quarter of the fifty-five or so judges can be counted upon to be punctual in court or commence sittings within twenty minutes of an hour after 9.00a.m. Many others sit just when they like, if they sit at all.

At the dinner rounding up the New Legal Year, I thought I heard the Chief Judge tell lawyers present to feel free and enjoy the atmosphere they had the good luck of sharing with judges because “as from Monday, they will be at work and making Orders.”

But what I witnessed at the Justice Gbajabiamila court on Wednesday the 3^rd October 2012 was far from the picture of brisk industry, and bristling efficiency “Aunty Ayo” painted of our judges. And, that’s a pity. An unacceptable pity.

'As you lay your bed' By Adesina Ogunlana

The English may say “as you lay your bed, so you lie on it”. In the same wise an African will declare “as you pound your yam, so you eat it”.

 These proverbs and many others like that express the certainty of the nexus between cause and effect. The wise sayings invariably tell Man that he is wholly responsible for the consequences of his actions, and nobody or nothing else. Man however by nature hates to indict himself in adverse situations. “Others” are wrongly held responsible. Others like “government” “police” “destiny” etc.

Look at the N.B.A. Our N.B.A. The out-going J.B Daudu regime is certainly the most unpopular administration since at least 1998, no thanks to the leadership style and perspective of the head of that administration-Joseph Daudu.

 

Personally I wonder why the man retained his first and middle names. His surname Daudu seems apt for his personality trait. For Daudu is lordly. Daudu’s first name is Joseph. Joseph? No, for the Biblical Joseph the gifted dreamer and the wizard administrator differed greatly in temperament and achievements than our conceited Daudu. Herod the pitiless, murderous tyrant of the Bible is more like it. As for Daudu’s middle name of Bodunrin which can be translated rightly as the “festival kid,” I think “Bonaparte” the imperial and overtly ambitious emperor of France should fit in here.

Really I think Mr. J.B. Daudu, whose imperial presidency of the N.B.A is fast expiring should be called  H.B Daudu or Herod Bonaparte Daudu in full. Although full of wisdom in his own eyes and the eyes of a few loyalists and bootlickers, H.B Daudu is seriously disliked in the N.B.A. He would be remembered for concentrating virtually all powers and management of the association in his hands, for favouritism to his wife and child in the N.B.A, for taking the Haliburton case, for stubbornly and foolishly waging and losing the war of overhauling the N.B.A constitution, of increasing Annual Conference Fees by about 500%, for foolhardy insistence and maneuvers to have the Delegates Election hold at Boko Haram infested Kaduna, etc.

As far as many members of the NBA are concerned, especially NEC members who are much more informed than the general “laity,” the Daudu  years 2010 – 2012 were largely unpalatable. The question is-: who to blame? There is none to blame other than the electorate. H. B Daudu did not rig his way into power in 2010. In fact he won fair and square and roundly defeated J.K Gadzama SAN.

Majority of those who are now complaining about Daudu’s pig-headed tyranny borne upon abominable and insufferable intellectual conceit, voted recklessly for the power monster. The vanguard of his electoral support were the irredentist conclavist dinosaurs of the West, the Egbe Amofin and their troop soldiers all who suspended their faculties of critical thinking and appraisal because of shameful, unprogressive primitivism of tribal loyalties.

We told all who cared to listen that J.B Daudu was not suited for the job of N.B.A President but would they listen? As a candidate, the man was wooden taciturn, not accessible, wouldn’t greet and worse, would not readily even acknowledge greetings from   the electorate, so full of himself was he, like one of those vain Greek gods up on Mount Olympus. Now another chance is here for voters to determine the leadership of the N.B.A for the next two years.

My advice to every one, especially tribal irredentists is “SHINE YOUR EYES! Shine your eyes “well well” to avoid yesterday’s MISTAKE and not to lament on the morrow.

   

'Kaduna yes, Abuja, No!' By Adesina Ogunlana

My Dear President,

          I am sorry I have to go straight to the point of why I am sending this message to you. I ask, most respectfully, “Is it true that the Delegates Election Conference of our dear NBA is no longer taking place in Kaduna but in Abuja”?

          I need and urgently too, to hear from you on this score? Dozens, of lawyers have told me that in your imperial wisdom and humbled opinion, you have shifted the Delegates Election Conference from Kaduna to Abuja since about two weeks ago.

          Sir, when it comes to you, I am not moved by numbers, for we now know that “you are the god of the NBA” courtesy of the flatterer Master of Ceremony at the Inauguration Ceremony of the Ikere Ekiti Branch just last week.

          Now since you are a god of the N.B.A, you like Napoleon Bonaparte, are worth more than forty-thousand ordinary lawyers.

          You would recall that since a mere four months ago, many voices have cried out against having the 2012 elections in your Kaduna state base. In fact there was this self-styled Dame in our Association who took the trouble of writing a lengthy article against such a venture and who also took the greater trouble of getting the article published in many national newspapers.

          Of course you were sager than to accord any worth to the rantings of a mere woman. In April 2012, we all were at the N.E.C meeting of the Association at Lokoja, Kogi state and expectedly the issue of where to hold the elections came up again.

          I clearly remember that you allowed only four people to speak on the matter (whether or not the Elections venue should shift from Kaduna). The worthy four were:- Lanke Odogiyan-the chairman of the Electoral Committee 2012, Mrs. Priscilla Kuye, Mr. Olisa Agbakoba, Mr. Yusuf Ali.

          Expectedly all the men in the list above spoke sense. Eminent sense. They all said the election venue should stay in Kaduna. That there was no danger in Kaduna. That there was no real danger. That the state Government and security forces were on top of the situation.

The most touching of all the speakers was Lanke Prince Odogiyan who told the NEC that a man of God had assured him that God had assured the man of God that no bomb would explode on lawyers in Kaduna during the Delegates Election. It was the only female in the list, Mrs. Priscilla Kuye who departed from sense in her submission. She, relying on hard facts and figures, said that Kaduna would not be safe for lawyers to hold any functions.

          Of course, you did not leave sense for nonsense. The sense was what the three wise-men: Lanke Odogiyan, Yusuf Ali and Olisa Agbakoba had opined, to wit, that the election should hold in Kaduna.

          You suspected and rightly so that my Branch, the Tigers of Ikeja and the most progressive of all the now 99 branches of the N.B.A would not speak agreeable sense on the matter, hence you stuck to your tradition of not recognizing us at the meeting for recognition.

          You will recall that during the morning break I walked up to where your divinity was seated and enquired thus: “Ha ha, Egbon, a no wo, na wo sibe e tie le pewa” (haba, elder brither, inspite of our repeated raise of hands you refused to give us a chance to talk).

          You reply (delivered with a merry smile) was direct, frank but most unfortunate. You said “Haa, Ikeja, ke wada mi lagbo nu” (I have to do that, lest you guys from Ikeja spoil my game plan).

          So your game-plan and clear intention was to hold the Election in Kaduna and you with the aid of your wise-men had your way in Lokoja.

          Of course stupid, dim-witted people like me thought that Kaduna was and still remains seriously unsafe and that it is hugely irresponsible of any responsible leader of lawyers to provoke the deadliness of the blood thirsty, soul-snatching and death-dealing Boko-Haram group with the presence of thousands of well-fed products and end-results of Western education, on their own very turf.

          You however stuck to your guns and equally wise people like you were preparing for Kaduna, ostensibly to meet their makers in July.

          Much later the news came that the Almighty J. B. Daudu, the god of NBA had agreed to take away the elections from Kaduna to Abuja.

          Sir is this true? Can it be true?

          If it’s true, then you have terribly disappointed me and hundreds of your numerous supporters. You have made a name of your RIGIDITY, FIRMNESS OF PURPOSE AND OMINISCIENCE.

          Oh how are the gargantuan fallen and the pillars of the celebrated ORACLE OF KADUNA CRUMBLE?

          A leader must be consistent to the end. This is my grouse with you. You who never changes, what has come over you now? I was so sure of your infallible sense of (mis)indgement that I believed that you would change the election venue, only, to better and safer places like Maiduguri, Bauchi and Damaturu.

          Why should a brave general like you now run to Abuja? Is it because of the few crackers the BH people exploded recently that sent you panicking?

          You ought to know, such explosives are not capable of detonation in any gathering of lawyers. Even before they are thrown, a clever N.B.A president would have secured an injunction against BH and other possible death-merchants not to attack any lawyer in Kaduna between 16^th -18^th July 2012.

          By your decision to move us from Kaduna to Abuja, I know you must have disappointed your three wise-men:- Agbakoba, Yusuf Ali and Lanke Odogiyan.

          By the way, may I suggest another disagreeable sense to you - Abuja is not really a safe alternative, why not come down West or go East for the elections?

 

'The African Condition' By Adesina Ogunlana

Men love mysteries or do I say mystery maketh men. As a specie, man is inordinately fascinated with the mysterious. Could be that way, because we are curious creatures always wanting to know everything about everything. I suspect our curiosity is tied to our security in that we feel or think our security is heavily dependent on the knowledge of and possible mastery of our environment.

What is that man does not want to know? A man not only wants to know all that can be known about his past, his present and his future, but whether and how his future can affect his past or when, where and how his present can be affected by his future? Are you confused here? If you ask me, to define what mystery is, I will simply give you our unbeatable definition to wit “Mystery is what is mysterious to man”.

Are you confused again or merely bemused?

A mystery is what Man does not know or cannot readily figure wit. When Man is in that state of mental bafflement he now substitutes facts with the suppositions (oft times fallacious) of his own inventions and ideas. Friends, this is how legends, myths and superstitious are born. So let’s have another definition of mystery, according to the Squib’s Dictionary of words-“A mystery is the product of the imagination of man, in a state of solid ignorance”.

So much, if not all, of superstition is hogwash. Baloney. But men are in love with superstition, much as they are captivated with mysteries. Of course superstition gives birth to taboos! Now this is serious.

Consider. Taboos (dos and don’ts of every culture, usually prohibitive of certain behavior with a guarantee of mystic sanctions or punishment for the taboo breaker) is the child of superstition. Superstition herself is mothered by mysteries, which in turn is fathered by ignorance which in turn is parented by Limited Knowledge. Wow!

So, Limited Knowledge is the great, great Grandfather. Ignorance is the Great grandfather. Mystery is the Grandfather. Superstition is the father. Taboo is the son. You need to ask whether taboo is the last of the generations of Limited knowledge, in other words does Taboo have any off-spring(s)? The answer is yes. But I will not disclose that worthy’s identity. Today.

Whether alone or in company, man sprouts superstitions. There is a superstition about everything and everywhere. We have superstitions, so many, that there are superstitions about superstitions! There is a superstition about numbers. There are so called lucky numbers as well as unlucky numbers. Unlucky numbers are believed to be not only harbingers of evil, but are, also treasurers of calamities. One of such numbers is 13. I have read it up somewhere that there are many cities or towns in Europe where street numbers do not include the number 13. Instead of having the dreaded number, the affected address will be styled 12A.

But is 13 really an unlucky number? I don’t think so, after all numbers, indeed numeracy is just one of those social inventions of main to cope with the challenges of living in society and making meaning out of lives.

Interestingly, Inmidun Akande J. the immediate past Chief Judge of Lagos State, was the 13^TH CHIEF JUDGE OF LAGOS STATE.

She came to the ‘judicial throne’ in September 2009 and left June 10 2012 making a total of 1004 days. Her tenure was epochal and outstandingly successful in seriously whittling down the overbearing influence of the Executive arm of government over the finances and developmental projects of the Lagos State Judiciary.

No matter what any one may say, the truth remains that under her watch, the Judiciary was more of a partner in power than ever before.

There was no abnormal incidents such as mass deaths or regular demise or uncommon dearth of prosperity.

And it could be said of her, that she did more for her staff, than all the Chief Judge’s before her in the last fifteen years. So what’s unlucky about her being the 13^th Chief Judge of Lagos. She came in pomp and left with greater pomp.

So are you still saying No 13 is an unlucky number? Bah!

'What is Democracy' By Adesina Ogunlana

The enthusiasts of Democracy as a political mechanism in the human society say it is the best form of political systems.

There are so many other cracies known to men, and you all know them, or at least some of them. There is ‘Theo-cracy’. Simply put ,it is the rule of the gods. Or better put, the rule of the gods through some special people who have the unique ability or capacity to hear, even see and interact with the invisibles of heaven. Of course in this kind of indirect celestial rule, some form of “wuruwuru” can’t be avoided. Even the best type of priestly rule is not above suspicion and resentment. That was why the Israelites of old sacked Prophet Samuel.

Another well known ‘cracy; is kingocracy, less arcanely known as MONARCHY. Under this craze, society is governed by a Rex or Regina who claims that his lineage or bloodline is ordained by that most unknown of beings, popularly known among men as GOD. Of course this is another fat lie on God but then God, is used to persecution from his own creatures. So if a fool comes to the man created throne, the royal claim is that God in his infinite wisdom is the installer of the fool. Ditto for a murderer, rapist, sadist, tyrant, drunkard etc.

The ways of the Lord, one is assured, is actually beyond the ken of men. You are further told that opposing kings, (and even 419 self-seeking, money-mongering clerics these days) is opposing the ALMIGHTY himself.

There is yet another cracy. This one is called PLUTO-CRACY. This is the rule of the society by men of means. By means, I mean money, ‘kudi’, ‘ego’, ‘owo’, alias apekanuko, kunkushi. I do not mean African means a.k.a Juju. Perhaps this is the most honest of crazes. This rule of society by the rich, the so called men of timber and caliber. In truth and in deed, is it not men and women of means, the moneyed ones who rule in any society. And is it not reasonably so?

One rich man is the equal of a thousand, even million paupers or peasants. Money is the most popular language in the world. Without money you are a dunce. Without the Lord kunkushi, you are dead!

After trying so many cracies, men finally settled for DEMOCRACY claiming it is the best form of rule. They tout it to be the rule of men, for men by men. They say it is practical egalitarianism. They say it is devoid of mysticism. They say it avoids or breaks down hegemonistic rule. They say it ensures or promotes accountability.

In reality however, Democracy necessarily brings out the worst in men, because Democracy makes people JOSTLE for power. And when the competitive spirit is kindled in the breast of men, only very few will not act as beasts.

In the quest for power in Democracy, the bid to acquire or capture community power, men will do anything. By anything, I mean anything, no matter how vile. Treachery, corruption, mudslinging capsizing of values, destruction of friendship, soul sale to Satan etc are the hallmarks of democracy.

Thus if democracy is truly the best form of government among human beings, then it is crystal clear that human beings are very terrible indeed.

'Question and Answer' By Adesina Ogunlana

QUESTION AND ANSWER

 

QUESTION: WHY IS J.B. DAODU S.A.N, N.B.A PRESIDENT INSISTENT THAT THE 2012 ANNUAL CONFERENCE MUST HOLD IN KADUNA, THE HOT-BED OF THE (MASS) MURDEROUS BOKO-HARAM GROUP?

Please choose any one of the following possible answers and give reasons for your option.

(A) Because Daodu has a secret agreement to provide at least two thousand lawyers to the Boko Haram for random slaughter.

(B) Because Daodu himself is a member of the Boko Haram sect.

(c) Because Daodu knows that Nigerian Lawyers are no ordinary humans who can be killed injured or maimed by misguided terrorists.

(d) Because Daodu believes that it is wrong and cowardly for the N.B.A to change her conference venue because of Boko Haram which has never attacked or killed a single lawyer.

(e) Because J. B. Daodu knows that the Nigerian Army, Police Navy, Airforce, Immigration, Civil Defence etc are very capable of protecting all the 12,000 lawyers or so that would come for the conference from any terrorist attack.

(f) Because J. B. Daodu knows just like President Jonathan, that by July 2012, the BOKO HARAM MENACE would have been over.

(g) Because J. B. Daodu is just like our national leaders perpetually out of sync with the realities and wishes of their followers.

'Talk is Cheap' By Adesina Ogunlana

There is a saying, “talk is cheap.” However judging from my experience in the Bar for quite some time now, I know something cheaper than merely talking.

You need to see how easily, lawyers make complaints. We complain about the organs and institutions of government. We complain about our clients, we complain about the police (regular customers) and complain about fellow colleagues. Of course, one favorite complaint target of the gentlemen and (excuse me, ladies) of the wig and gown profession is the Court.

All the departments of Judicial institution are fat targets for our arrows of criticism and complaints. As far as we are concerned, the Registry is staffed with sloths, while the Probate is perpetually moribund; we almost never have any words of praise for the ‘mechanics’ of the bailiff section, and our relationship with court registrars is always at a love-hate frequency.

Naturally, the monarchs of the judicial glade, the nobles of adjudication and the chief priests in the shrines and temples of justice, (popularly known and beknown and “milords an miladies”) never escape the barbs, even bites of our complaints.

It is either they are slow, ignorant, compromised, hostile, proud, unserious, overbearing and even sometimes outrightly stupid when we are at our acerbic worst. The good judge in our estimate is rare, the excellent judge has not been born, while the perfect judge cannot be conceived!

Alas, our complaints, as numerous and diverse, rarely yield fruits of correction. Thus our criticisms, complaints and grumblings amount to nothing  but the braying of asses!

Ask me why? And I will tell you one good reason why this is so. Once upon a time, just about two weeks ago, the Secretary General of the N.B.A Ikeja was accosted by a member of his branch, in the grounds of the Ikeja High Court. The member is Barrister Salau, a senior member of the profession.

Knowing that the Ikeja Bar would soon be having elections and that the General Secretary is running for a higher office in the said elections, Barrister Salau in a most passionate manner, counseled the Bar politician on the need  for the Bar leadership to see to it that the needless hassles and inefficiency that attend the administration of justice in the courts, particularly the execution of judgement are tackled expeditiously and successfully.

Then about seven days later, Mr. General Secretary ran into Barrister Salau in the same premises of the Ikeja High Court. Salau was looking agitated, flustered, bewildered and in a recoiling state of bemusement.

Naturally the G.S was curious to know the cause of his friend’s agony. Salau went straight to the point – he was stunned to hear a High Court Judge (Okikiolu-Ighile.J) declining to read a judgement in open court, because of power outage but directed counsel to parties to apply to the registrar of court for certified true copies of the (unread) judgement!

Surely that was anomalous. The following conversation now took place between the G.S and B.S (Barrister Salau):

G.S – Ha, Ha, how can that be?

B.S – Oh yes, it happened. I just left that Court now.

G.S – What is the name of the case, so that the Bar can take up the matter with the judge.

B.S – Oh, I will give you the name later.

G.S – (rather surprised) Why later? Why not now? I mean it’s just a matter of us(Bar leadership) meeting the judge over it. It’s nothing hard.

B.S – (clearly discomfited) Well, it is this case…

Gentlemen and ladies of the Bar, talk is cheap. We not only talk but walk the talk.

N.B – I hope this write up will not irk B.S so much as to cost me his vote.

DELE OYE OR DELE OLE? By Adesina Ogunlana

 Sometimes in 2010, in the earlier months, I in company of some other leaders of the NBA Ikeja came to the chambers of Olowokere, Esq. then Chairman of N.B.A Kaduna Branch.

Our visit was for a specific political purpose. It was to  sell the candidacy of Oludare Akande (then running for 2^nd Vice- President NBA Ikeja) to the Kaduna chair.

Inevitably the talks drifted to include the mention of Joseph Bodunrin Daudu S.A.N. It was understandable; Daudu is of the Kaduna Bar and was running for President of the Bar that year. Those of us who were present at the meeting can never forget the utterly fantastic manner, Olowokere poured praise on Daudu. This was how Olowokere described Daudu.

“Yes it is true that Daudu may not be too good at interacting with people but you see when he sits down like this that is wisdom sitting down. Solutions would just start coming”.

From that day henceforth, our group of Tigers got a nickname for Daudu-: “Mr. Wisdom.” However I did not see much wisdom in Mr. Daudu when he was defending the retention of Mr. Dele Oye as NBA Prosecutor before the Body of Benchers.

Responding to criticisms from Mr. Femi Falana on Oye’s continous role as NBA prosecutor- Mr. Daudu said as much as follows-:

“As at today, Mr. Dele Oye has not been charged to Court for any criminal offence or convicted so the N.B.A cannot remove him from the job as our prosecutor. It is the man, who could advice himself on the matter and resign.

By the way, who is Dele Oye? Oye to the best of our Gecko knowledge is at least:

A legal practitioner called to the Bar in 1989.

Lead Prosecutor for the N.B.A at the Body of Benchers Disciplinary Committee. Became prosecutor in 2001.

Was seriously involved, implicated and compromised as a front and conduct pipe in the utterly messy and scandalous money laundering and bank looting crimes of Mrs. Cecilia Ibru.

Fled Nigeria in 2009, for almost a year when declared wanted by the EFCC over Oceanic Bank Fraud and mismanagement.

No doubt, a character with a warped reputation like Dele Oye has no business prosecuting again for an organization like the N.B.A.  I think the chiefest professional claims of the legal society has on virtues of integrity, decency and probity.

The legal status of Dele Oye, in the light of the Plea Bargain Agreement of his Criminal Principal the godly ungodly Cecilia Ibru with the Federal Government may be unclear to the likes of Mr. J.B Daudu, despite his silk gown.

But even Mr. Wisdom himself cannot claim he is in doubt about the moral status of Dele Oye.

There is a proverb that says "just a tad of excreta at the edge of a plate of gbegiri (bean soup) spoils the cuisine. For, even if the eye over looks the mind will not”.

A prosecutor must not only be an innocent person himself, he must have no shadow of integrity. Especially so when the prosecutor is prosecuting for the association of lawyers in Disciplinary matters. 

J.B Daudu unwittingly mocks himself when he said it was for Dele Oye to excuse himself from the NBA prosecution job.

Dele Oye never appointed himself to the job, and so he is merely an agent of the N.B.A. So why has the N.B.A under J.B Daudu find it impossible or unjust to remove Dele Oye?  If Dele Oye has no shame or self respect for himself and do the needful, why is the same shamelessness afflicting the N.B.A ? This more so, when J.B Daudu is pretending or purporting to begin a campaign against corruption in the Judiciary.

As at today, if you call Dele Oye,Dele Ole in front of those who are aware of shady deals and interactions with Cecilia Ibru’s Oceanic Bank, only a few will be surprised.

Yet Dele 'Oye' means Dele 'Honour' or 'Titled' while Dele 'Ole' means Dele 'Thief.' Why should such a character find any defence from the president of the Bar Association? Mr. Wisdom indeed!

'The 1st Law of Advocacy' By Adesina Ogunlana

Only last week, I was told the story of a lawyer who came across a fabulous sum of money, two hundred and fifty million naira, precisely but chose not to pick it up. Rather he returned the big find to the owner.

How did the lawyer come across the dough? And why did not appropriate it? You know when we were young oldies used to warn kiddies not to pick up money, biscuits, etc they happened to come across to avoid turning into a cat, rat, goat or even spider! The adult drummed it in that freebies were oft times deadly traps to catch the foolish and the greedy.

The lawyer of my story came across the money, just there for him for the taking, is he, as I was reliably informed, was prepared to take up a particular matter at the Supreme Court on behalf of the state of Aquatic splendor.
When the lawyer assessed the merit quotient of the case, he declined to get involved. According to my source, the gentleman said it was not in his character to go to court to defend unarguable points of law! But we are talking of 250 million naira here, pressed the “offerors” but our man would not budge.

The hero of this story is surely a rare bird. The average wig and gown person, does not possess such reserve or sterling integrity; he is rather Barrister Cash and Carry.

Like the fellow, I saw on Thursday at the Panel 2 of the Court of Appeal Lagos. This lawyer came to the Court of Appeal, to stay the execution of a consent judgement! It was a miserable landlord/tenant matter.

It was also a miserable day for Mr. Appellant’s Counsel as he had no answer to the serious allegation of the respondent’s counsel that he was only in court to use the very temple of justice to achieve legal and moral injustice!

Trust the Court of Appeal, Lagos to descend like a ton of bricks on Mr. Appellant’s Counsel. This embarrassment grew by the minute as the Court thrashed him, first, for wrong procedural steps and then secondly for wrong professional steps in asking for any help from the court. As the hard strokes fell, Mr. Appellant’s Counsel looked more forlorn than a rain soaked chicken! At the end of the day, he went home with an expense sheet of N20,000.00 costs hanging on his client’s neck!

If you ask me, the first and last virtues of a legal practitioner is  - DECENCY! Any decent human being is a beautiful sight to behold, know and meet. But it’s especially more so when homo sapiens turns out to be legal practitioner.

The decent lawyer is fanatical about building and maintaining a good and exemplary character. And he can find that easy when he has no regard whatsoever for filthy lucre but is rather pre-occupied with the correct moral of the case.

Is anyone scoffing at morality as a factor in practicing the law? Such should know that every law is a processed morality and is calculated to achieve or maintain a moral height.

Tell me, if you are lost here. Then I will know for sure that you are a lawyer with an absent conscience. Too bad!

'UPPERCRUSTISM' By Adesina Ogunlana

I bet you wonder at the heading here – ‘Uppercrustism.’ Probably you did a double take – Uppercrustism? Gosh, ‘wazdat’ in the name of the Queen of England?

You may think you’ve just come across a stretchy unit of (perhaps) jaw-breaking balderdash but I assure you, you actually know what Uppercrustism means.

I concede however that you may not know that you know that you do not know that you know! Ha, ha ha!

Uppercrustism, oh yes, that’s what we are talking about here. Not ‘Uppercutism.’ That’s another word for another day. Well let’s get down to the business of unraveling the meaning of the sensation – Uppercrustism; though I seriously doubt whether its meaning needs any special perspicacity for appreciation.

The reason is obvious - you see, Uppercrustism is clearly everywhere. Everywhere, as in, everywhere. It is a socio-political principle of life. A rigid, narrow position that does not submit to the populism or egalitarianism of say perhaps Jeremy Bentham or the idealism of Democracy.


The Christ, the true coin from Bethlehem said He came to give life and life more abundantly – apparently to anybody who cared to come to him.


The Uppercrustist however says, “I have come to give the good life, to only a few (those in my class) and the good life more abundantly to only a few (those in my class).


Analysts often say the chiefest problem of this country is corruption, but a more deadly poison ravaging the country’s system is ‘Uppercrustism.’


As a political philosophy, Uppercrustism does not believe that it is good, necessary or worth the while of those charged or self charged with the community administration to look out for the good of the majority of the people.


As far as the Uppercrustist is concerned, there are only two classes in the society, the SUCKED and the SUCKER. The sucked are the vast majority and they live only for the comfort of the suckers.


The sweat of the sucked, their tax, their labour and indeed their very blood is taken from them and converted to royal nectar to feed the fat cat class of suckers.


The SUCKED never control the levers and powers of community governance. They are literally the scum of the earth – the artisans, the petty traders, the shopkeepers, the low level civil servants; perpetually sentenced to living out their lives from hand to mouth.


Government always belongs to the SUCKERS. They are the ones that the Prophet Samuel of the Holy Bible had in mind when he said, “Your king would take the best of your estate, your wives, your oil, your daughters would be his concubines and your sons would be his servants and soldiers.”


The Uppercrustists are not without the milk of human kindness, nor are they strangers to providing benefits. But their kindness is not the Managing Director of MUNIFICENCE UNLIMITED or the Chief Executive Officer of BENTHAM INCORPORATED.


The Uppercrustists distribute the commonwealth, to only the uncommon people:- members of their class; they take care of their ilk, splendidly, very marvelously.


To prove this point, I only need cite one example. Nothing farfetched or brought forth from a distant far. Last week Thursday, the Lagos State Governor came to a certain road in Ikoyi, Lagos called Bourdillon Avenue. It was not a pleasure trip for H.E. He came to present five newly completed houses to the Lagos State Judiciary.


The houses were smart, sweet, grand, and cute, almost to the point of classical exoticness or exotic classicalism. If a poor man, a permanent member of the holloi polloi club of all round poverty achieves the Rapture of the Bible and lands in any of the Ikoyi houses, Heaven will forgive him should he mistake the houses as a portion of the much awaited PARADISE! Walahi! And if he was told he was still very much on the planet earth, then he would simply apply to be allowed a stay-put; there is no point seeking for any other paradise!


Each of those houses, were it to be sold, would fetch no less than two hundred million naira. I said the houses were built by the Lagos State Government and handed over to the State Judiciary. Now who do you think the Judiciary would hand over the houses to?


Your guess is as good as mine. You know such paradise copies will not go to court registrars, court clerks, registry officials, typists, secretaries, drivers, sheriffs, etc. Who as they say, “dash monkey banana?”


The recipients are judges. As far as I know Lagos State High Court judges number only about 55 while the other category of workers of the High Court are as I learnt, over a thousand.


On each of the 55 judges, even including retired ones, the Government sees nothing wrong in spending hundreds of millions of naira by providing “befitting salaries,” “befitting modes of transport,” “befitting houses,” “befitting wardrobe allowances,” “befitting medical expenses,” which in truth means that the Government maintains the judges in very comfortable circumstances of life.


The question we need to ask ourselves is – why should people holding political, legislative and judicial posts earn salaries and remunerations like spoilt princes and live life like potentates? Why should working for Government in a country of mass poverty, mass unemployment, mass illiteracy, etc., now become an avenue for a life of luxurious comfortability?


Why is nobody thinking of putting aside a sum like five hundred million naira specially and specifically for the junior workers of the Judiciary?


During the famous 9 day strike in January 2012, against the removal of fuel subsidy, a protester bore a protest message which read thus: “one day, the poor will have nothing to eat but the rich.”


That message was no joke. Very real. Let Uppercrustists beware and start a meaningful and transparent spread of the commonwealth to all and sundry. To avoid a terrible back-lash in the near future.


“A word is enough for the wise.”

ACTION, PLEASE By Adesina Ogunlana

Do you know our President? Before you rush in an answer, care to ask which of the presidents? This is so because presidents present themselves plenteously in our country.

NOW THAT THE RACE IS ON AGAIN By Adesina Ogunlana

Don't tell me you never knew. Never knew that the race...to become a Judge of the Lagos State High Court is on.

MEETING GOVERNOR FASHOLA - WITH LETTER OF PROTEST

On 20th January 2012, NBA Ikeja branch members were received by Governor Babatunde Raji Fashola S.A.N and the Lagos State Attorney-General & Commissioner for Justice, Mr. Ade Ipaye.

The branch chairman, Adebamigbe Omole on behalf of the branch first commiserated with Governor Fashola on the recent loss of his uncle and then stated its concerns: embarrassing developments in Lagos State - specifically the presence of soldiers on its streets which was a breach of the fundamental rights of the people and which was uncalled for, there being no state of emergency to warrant their (soldiers) presence and so something had to be done.
Branch Chairman Omole, a senior branch member - Mr. Femi Falana and the branch’s General Secretary, Adesina Ogunlana then presented the Letter of Protest to Governor Fashola. Thanking the Bar for coming, the Governor stated that he had written to the President on the matter. He said politicians must learn to tolerate criticism of their policies and that the story about the soldiers being members of Operation MESA (a team created and funded by the Lagos State Government) was untrue. “Operation MESA does not occupy streets and they go about their duties in their branded vehicles, “ he stated. Governor Fashola added that Lagos state was doing something about the situation and people should remain calm and peaceful that the people of Lagos had fought and won many battles and this would be no different.

NBA IKEJA FUEL PRICE HIKE PROTEST

THE PROTEST CONTINUES! LAWYERS PLEASE ASSEMBLE AT THE IKEJA HIGH COURT ON TUESDAY 10TH JANUARY 2012 BY 7A.M.