HURRAY, THE SQUIB IS TEN! By Adesina ogunlana

Can you believe this- we, I mean we all, the SQUIB FAMILY, we are ten years old. Ten solid years. A decade. One tenth of a century. Wonderful, absolutely wonderful. Incredible, really. Oh migosh…ten whole years!

The Squib is a well known brand magazine in the legal profession; it is so big that it has eclipsed the human identity of its founder, whose names ring a bell in legal circles, only in association with that of his creation, The Squib.

It may appear frivolous, the point just about to be made, that the Squib is probably the only magazine in Africa with multiple pet-names or and nicknames, but on sober reflection, one realizes that the fact is a strong indication of its strength and popularity.

Officially, ‘the Squib’ is the name of the magazine, but admirers also affectionately call it any of these nomenclatures: ‘Scoop,’ ‘Sukubu,’ ‘Skub,’ ‘Squibedo,’ ‘Skaib,’ and even ‘Shaibu!’

However ten years ago on March 22, 2001 when the Squib first hit the stands, the story was different. The Publisher and Editor of the Squib, barely five years old at the bar then, was just any other lawyer, even though his street circulated one-page ‘The Learned Squib Articles’ was beginning to make waves with his fierce, caustic and belligerently agitational but arresting writing style; later carried over to the Squib Magazine, to date.

The Squib was even worse off; it was a completely unknown quantity and quality. Many predicted its failure and death for various “tangible” reasons including the following:

1.   The Squib is too confrontational and destabilizing in its editorial approach to last, since the authorities are bound to react negatively to that provocative stance.

2.   The Publisher is a poor, young struggling lawyer and as such cannot sustain a capital intensive project like magazine publication.

3.   The Publisher is untrained in journalism to do any good job and the Squib is too rough and unattractive at any rate, to be accepted in the market.

4.   Generally, newspapers and magazines have high mortality rates in Nigeria – even those backed by loads of cash and hi-tech.

Interestingly, the predictions of doom have fallen flat, while The Squib, a little acorn of yore has grown and is still growing to a mighty oak.

Oh yes, there have been great hurdles on our way and the road has been rough. Financially we have been stretched and are still being stretched. Physically, our lives have been under open threat and on the line at least three times. Our professional career as a legal practitioner was under siege for many years (2001 – 2010) as the Lagos State Judiciary and the NBA maintained action against us before the Disciplinary Committee of the Body of Benchers.

Even now despite the withdrawal of the complaint against us by the Lagos State Judiciary and the Nigerian Bar Association (under former President, Rotimi Akeredolu SAN), the formal and final discontinuance by the Disciplinary Committee is yet to be done.

We had thought to roll out the drums in celebration of our tenth anniversary – deservedly so; for we have mostly walked in the ‘shadows of the valley of death’ these past years and survived and even done more than survived, thrived.

However on second thoughts, we realized that we still have a long way to go in the achievement of our mission:-

The Squib is born to correct and change the many unhealthy traditions and progressive developments in the legal profession and the judiciary. This critical medium shall be sharp, nay trenchant in its criticism but shall never be unfair or malicious. Naturally the Squib shall tread on toes (especially of serpents). ’Tis to be expected. The truth is the hardest hitting pugilist. Pray for the Squib.

Our immediate constituency, the Lagos State Judiciary may no longer be a malodorous cesspit of sickening corruption and inefficiency but it is still far, very far from El-Dorado. You all know what I mean.

The legal profession still also has bad eggs and rotten apples, even in the upper echelons.

Thus there is still a lot of work to do and little or no time or even basis to celebrate.

The only celebration we are allowing ourselves is to thank God for all his mercies, protection, deliverance and provisions for us as an organization, since March 22 2001.

BUT FOR GOD, WE SURELY WOULD HAVE GONE UNDER AND FORGOTTEN.

THANK YOU BABA.

He gave us those wonderful workers, like Bola Oluboyo, Funmilayo Mendes, Shadia Rasaq, Segun Adaraloso and Temitope Israel, whose dedication to duty was well above average and in many cases uncommon.

He gave us those fantastic open supporters like “Daddy 3,” The Progressive Bar Forum, The NBA Ikeja Branch and those dear comrades, the Aluta Army and family of the Lagos State University Students Union (LASUSU) who helped us to stare down the Great Foe in the fierce, very physical confrontation of November 2001.

He gave us those equally fantastic secret supporters who regularly leaked and frustrated deadly plans and strategies of the Great Foes 1 & 2 against us. It is a pity we cannot mention names yet.

He gave us the GECKOES, without whose contributions, the Squib won’t be so much dreaded.

He gave us good and unbelievably supportive home front; our international editor, OMO FRANCA, that quietly strong girl who “sabi grammar even pass im wahala husband” and who allowed us the latitude and the peace of mind to do our dangerous aluta, without complaining too much.

And God is still giving us many more things that we just marvel at. For example he has given us, before our very eyes in our presence, a Pharaoh that knows and sincerely appreciates our Joseph.

I mention a name here Mr. or (is it Mrs.) Justice Inumidun Enitan Akande, incumbent Chief Judge of Lagos State.

In rounding off this piece, it is our prayer that we all will grow from strength to strength. To our dear readers – esteemed Squibbers, please keep praying for us. We need your constant prayers. Our charge to you ten years ago remains unchanged: “Well, until when next the parliament opens, do not take it easy. Give life your best shots. Do not go to your grave with your songs unsung and your heads bowed. Enjoy your life. Enjoy your Squib. You know what?

 “The Heavens Will Not Fall!”

'Agbero' By Adesina Ogunlana

If you are an aficionado of “African Magic Yoruba” Channel on the DSTV, then you cannot be a stranger to (at least seeing) fetish practices and display of supernatural powers.

It is common to see on AMY Channel, fantastic occurrences, for example a tortoise can be heard speaking Portuguese, while a doorway can become a dense, impenetrable forest. All too easily a human being can become a squirrel, while a mere look can render an opponent dumb and deaf. Regularly the dead do wake up to debunk the popular saying that “Dead men don’t talk”. In AMY they not only wake up, they exact terrible vengeance on their murderers. There are potions you are made to drink on AMY that loosens the tightest tongue. Thus a hitherto stubborn, evildoer determined to keep sealed lips turns canary.

Whenever I see any fantastic AMY scenes, I re-assure myself that they can only happen in the television world of make belief otherwise it would have been terrible indeed. If for example a malevolent neighbour in a fit of pique could turn one to an “Idumota Statue” or if a mere child can become an ogre chasing one about with a pestle.

However my confidence became terribly shaken a few days ago after learning that it is quite possible and very easy to have AMY scenes in real life.

I was told that right in the premises of a magistrate court, a legal practitioner saw a magistrate whom he had known way back in school (University) as a faculty mate.

Hailing the magistrate, the lawyer stretched out his hand to the judex wearing a wide happy smile and clearly expecting an equally warm response.

Alas, the magistrate did not deem a response necessary or appropriate and calmly walked past the obviously stunned lawyer who suffered the “Agbero” effect for at least two minutes as his outstretched hand hung in the air. He tried his best to bring it down but just could not. In shock, in awe, in wonder.

How could Lagbaja do this to me? Is it because he is now a Magistrate? Ha? ha? Lagbaja of all people, Lagbaja that we used to rub shoulders with in school.

He was still wondering when the high and mighty Magistrate disappeared from sight.

'Open Letter to Honourable Justice Aloysius Katsina-Alu, Chief Justice of Nigeria: Mum is not the word

My Lord,

I am compelled to forward this letter to your Lordship in view of the very serious allegations made against you by no less a judicial giant than the president of the second highest court in the land, the Court of Appeal, His Lordship, Isa Ayo Salami J.(to be continued).

'Hell Hath No Fury' By Adesina Ogunlana

I have always believed that Williams Shakespeare, of course, you know him, that vaunted Band of Avon,  is an over- rated  and for that matter over used commodity.

He is so commonly cited or recited that it can be rightly said of him that he was, to all men, all things. In friendship or treachery, in love or hatred, in prosperity or wretchedness’ in turbulence or in calm, in fear or courage, in wisdom or tom foolery, in sincerity or in dissembling, in fecundity or aridity, Shakespeare always finds a place.

Shakespeare, I tell you is like a magic condiment that fits any soup. So is the Bard that

You can quote him not only to the living, but even to the transposed.

However, Bill Pearl (as the Yankees would have known and called William Shakespeare were he of the 21^st century)and his genius as I have always suspected was exaggerated by his legions of admirers

His philosophy, his insights his perceptions, so highly adulated are not always right, or apt.

One example suffices to prove my point. Let’s look at one of his most popular lines-

 “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”

This Shakespeare discloses two furies - one of hell, the other of a woman. According to Bill Peare, the fury of the Woman is greater than that of hell. This may sound impressive, possibly touching, but on what justifiable basis was this statement made?

For one, Peare was his assertion and in no other way privy to the volatility of the angst of the infernal region .So how did he know about the quality of Hell’s fury?

Second, how many women did Peare  know, in the real sense of the relevant know? History does not tell us he was a Lothario, or a Casanova or Solomon or even an M.K.O. Abiola.What much can any man who walked the narrow and shallow straits of monogamy know about the fury of women to now pontificate on it?

But an even more annoying assertion in the –

“Hell hath no fury……. saying is the reckoning of a woman’s anger to be the greatest and worst in creation.

How can that be true? What of the anger, fury, vexation of a frustrated Politician? A frustrated Nigerian politician like Iyiola Omisore, a former murderer accused but now a distinguished Senator of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

For quite some time now, the Ile-Ife born politician has been dreaming of becoming the Governor of Osun State.  As far back as 1999. The most he had risen was to become a deputy Governor of a tight-fisted, old school Awoist of a Governor, in the person of Chief Bisi “Imposer” Akande.

After the ouster of the School head master –in - politics from the Governor’s seat in Osun State , a strange obstacle, in the person of Olagunsoye Oyinlola, a retired military officer but an acolyte of the bullish leader of the people’s Democratic Party (1999-2007)and the president of Nigeria (1999-2007).

This obstacle proved stronger than Omisore and he had to make do with a seat in the Nigerian Senate.

But he never forgot his dream

The patient dog, as they say, eats the fattest bone. Soon it became clear in the PDP that once Olagunsoye Oyinlola left the Gubernatorial seat in Osun State in 2012, Omisore would come in.

Alas, for the plans of men and mice! Suddenly another last minute obstacle rolled itself onto the path of Mr. Next Governor of Osun State in the person of Mr. Rauf Aregbesola of the Action Congress of Nigeria.

Aregbesola battled Oyinlola for three and a half years in the law courts, in challenge of the supposed Electoral Victory of Oyinlola at the polls in 2007.

Then late 2010, the Electoral petition Appeal Tribunal nullified Onyinlola’s victory  and Aregbesola become the Governor and presumably so far the next four years at least. Everybody knows it will not be easy to dissolve a civilian who dislodged a soldier from power. Well where does that leave Mr. Next Governor? It left him exactly in the position of the proverbial, hungry hunter whose quarry, the squirrel  had run up the Iroko tree (Okere gun roko oju ode da)

   Feeling very frustrated, depressed Omisore, like most sorely disappointed human beings went near manic with rage;His target was not the Squirrel or even his own gun, rather he sent his bullets flying all over the forest blaming the foliage and the woods for his misfortune; it was the very forest  that gave cover for the Squirrel to give him the slip!

I pity Senator Omisore. Boy it is not easy to be this near yet so far! How do you expect a man already hailed all over, even in the Senate as “Obalola” – ‘The incoming’ to feel, when  his fortunes that looked so promising suddenly and forcefully vaporises.

In the hell of his anger , frustrated Omisore is ready to pull the judiciary down and consequently the nation with his wild and scurrilons attack or the integrity of the court of appeal judges.

Which scorned women has such tsunamic fury? She would rather destroy her wretched lover her rival and he self, all still being in the family.

If not for anything else, by his latest ‘determination craze’ I am of the view that Omisore now Mr. Next Time Better Luck Governor is a very desperate politician. Now politicians can do just about any thing.

These Court of Appeal Judges need to be careful – when you are the friend of a politician, especially of a frustrated politician be careful, not to talk of when he has marked you down for an enemy.

 Beware! Hell hath no fury like a frustrated politician. 

'Golden Albert' By Adesina Ogunlana

There was this dinner I attended in November 2010, the remembrance of which makes me glad still. It was the dinner hosted by the Office of the Public Defender, Lagos State Ministry of Justice at the Lagos City Hall as part of her celebration of her 10th Anniversary as an institution.

The affair was not merely a dinner, but also an award night and so there were many dignitaries or “big men” as we often call them in these shores, at the end of the rather comfortably average dinner (however there was far lot more to drink, which encouraged the “lady party-packer” syndrome to get activated in some female guests with commodious handbags at the occasion especially when the lights of the hall dimmed) and the award ceremony began.

If I recollect correctly, the OPD awards went to no less than eight individuals including Mr. Bola Tinubu, the Asiwaju of Lagos, the immediate past Governor of the state and establisher of the OPD, Professor Yemi Osinbajo SAN, the immediate past Attorney General and Commissioner for Justice Lagos State, Mr. Fola Arthur-Worrey, the immediate past Solicitor-General of Lagos State, Honourable Justice Bisi Akinlade, the first Director of the OPD, and Honourable Justice Amina Augie JCA.

As each of the awardees were called out to receive their awards, there were polite claps of support, ably supported by the crash of flourish from the police band in attendance.

Then the announcement came that there was an award for the most outstanding OPD staff of the year. The Master of Ceremony then mentioned a name and oh, how do I best put the reaction from the ‘legion’ of OPD staff at the dinner? First, bedlam erupted and collided against ruckus before exploding in ecstacy!

I saw virtually all the legion of the OPD, especially the ladies, jump off their chairs, shriek deliriously and wave their limbs and other apartments of their bodies wildly and in rapturous delight.

At that point in time, the earlier awardees were forgotten in the incredibly loud celebration of this particular awardee. Neither a Governor nor Attorney General, nor Solicitor General nor Judge he was. He was not even a lawyer and certainly the youngest of all the awardees.

From what I gathered from the M.C., the super star merited his award for exemplary and uncommon dedication to work. The deafening approval of the hero’s choice by the OPD staff underscored the appropriateness of the award.

The gentleman in question would not forget that night in a hurry; obviously proud of himself, in his shy, self-effacing manner but bowled over by the thunderous approval of his choice by dozens of those who were his superiors in his work place.

The night would be special for him, because he could never have imagined a situation where he could ever share a glory platform with his former boss, Professor Yemi Osinbajo SAN (he was a clerk in the early 90s in the now defunct legal firm of OSINBAJO, KUKOYI AND ADOKPAYE) who also paved his way for his employment with the OPD when he was the Attorney General, not to talk of outshining him.

While the ladies were swooning over his boy, I stole a look at ‘prof’ (Yemi Osinbajo) and the great man was looking quite pleased with himself in that quiet gentle way of his.

Well, who is the subject matter of this piece? I know him simply as Albert; for a fuller knowledge, you may care to ask any OPD staff, especially them ladies. Just ask about Albert, Golden Albert.