Thursday, August 27, 2009

'The Partridge on the Ridge' By Adesina Ogunlana

Yoruba people have a proverb about partridges. It goes thus:-
Aparo kan o ga ju kan lo,
afi eyi o gori ebe.
(“No partridge is taller than any other except the one on top of a ridge”).
Of course, the proverb has nothing to do about partridges or their height. Like other African ethnicities, the Yoruba are only drawing metaphors and imageries from nature to drive home their points and teach crucial, social, moral lessons.
Well, for those of us who may not know much about partridges, except dstveed ones, the bird, I can tell you is a sprightly fellow with sweet hardy meat. When cooked in rich egusi soup and sent on a journey with morsels of pounded yam as companions, en-route the stomach, even an atheist may lapse into a doxology to exclaim “ha! The Lord is good!”
Though no trained orthinologists the Yoruba are right in saying that all partridges are pretty much the same, when on the plains. Full grown, they are about a third of the size of a local hen, brown feathered and quite alert.
The proverb is actually an admonition against succumbing to or imbibing the disease of the swollen-headed-: pride. A proud person clothes himself in swagger and floats on pomposity because he believes that he is better, much better, indeed fantastically superior to other people.
But what is the source of the pride? It could be physical attributes, social status or wealth.
These are all part of what the Yoruba call, the “ridge” which when perched upon, elevates the partridge. Of course, if the ridge is dismantled under the feet of the partridge or adverse conditions chase the partridge off the ridge-it becomes clear and immediately so, that there is nothing particularly spectacular about the once-upon-a-ridge-partridge.
In the legal profession, there are two types of advocates. Those who argue positions and those who decide positions. Of course I am talking about lawyers and judges. Of course a judge is a lawyer, perhaps, a re-branded one.
A lawyer may never become a judge, but a judge will always be a lawyer. When a lawyer is a judge, he, in his place of work, sits in the bar. The long and short of it is that both, judex and barrister, are lawyers. But you need to see (and hear) some judges in action.
The way the carry themselves, their very comportment and their use of language-in court clearly show that they believe that they are a part of the clan of Zeus on Mount Olympus-gods and goddesses.
These companions of Zeus-talk down on litigants and counsel alike. They are full of their own sense of self importance Rudeness is routine and haughtiness is their hat. They are self recognised fountains of knowledge and any counsel who does not share their perspectives is nothing but a “compound ass”. They preen and boast of their sagacity and their tongues are scimitars. What they call “being in firm control of my court” is actually nothing but counsel bullying and litigant flaying.
Unfortunately for everybody, judges like that, who regard lawyers appearing before them as asses, by their conduct, display to the public that, they are jack-asses.
How do you help such-Zeus companions? How? They are touchy, cantankerous and garrulous, perpetually striving to show that they are wiser than wisdom itself and sager than sagacity.
If it may help, somebody may want to remind-pompous judges of the following truisms:-
1. No one knows it all.
2. A different opinion is not necessarily a wrong opinion.
3. Everyman is entitled to his opinions, including fools.
4. Life is not black and white.
5. Nobody is infallible.
6. From the mouth of babes, wisdom may come out.
7. Nonsense may turn out to be Good sense, if it is given time to land properly.
8. We learn everyday.
9. It is a privilege to be a judge, not a right.
10. Aparo kan o ga ju kan lo, Afi eyi to gun ori ebe.

Friday, August 21, 2009

'Mere Formality?' By Adesina Ogunlana

ACT 1 SCENE 1 JUDICIAL SERVICE COMMISSION (A.K.A JSC) (looking so officious and earnest:
The bar can we please have your opinions about these people we want to appoint as judges? Here is the shortlist of them.

BAR: (feeling so important and elated while receiving the shortlist) “Oh sure, sure; with all pleasure.

ACT 1 SCENE 2
BAR:
(still feeling very important and elated and handing over a fat envelope of documents to the JSCchairman)
“Your lordship, thank you for the opportunity you afforded us to assess candidates seeking appointment to the bench. We have carefully scrutinized them and their records and have put our findings and comments in writing. They are all in the envelope. We hope your commission will find it useful in their work.


JSC: Oh sure. We appreciate your efforts and can assure that not only shall we read everything here but also give your comments close attention.
Once again thank you.

ACT 1 SCENE 3
JSC:
(all alone, the Bar having since left). The chairman opens the envelope and starts reading the comments of the bar. After two minutes, hisses and shouts: “Office Boy! Office Boy!”

OFFICE BOY: (Appearing very quickly) “Yes sir! Here am I sir!”

JSC: (handing over documents to the office boy) Please go and throw all these papers into the dustbin.

OFFICE BOY: Dustbin? Sir I thought the Bar just gave you these papers.

JSC: (standing up in anger and shouting) Shut up your mouth and do as you are told. Nonsense! What’s your business with it? Who needs your comment?

OFFICE BOY: As the court pleases!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

"The Dele Oye Magic' By Adesina Ogunlana

I first heard the story I am about to tell you about twenty years ago. You too probably have heard it – but let me say it all the same. In case.

At a Lagos bus-stop, a pick-pocket had snatched a woman’s hand bag containing a few coins and the usual articles of facial peacockery of the front-loaded variant of humanity to wit lip-stick, powder, eye-liner etc.

It was a successful but perilous snatch. For the victim noticed and boldly raised an alarm. Trust Lagosians. A pursuit team was immediately raised by silent and urgent consensus among the bystanders and passers-by there. The thief was in trouble and he knew it. After sprinting a few yards, he threw the bag down. But his pursuers were not impressed by that, they simply continued with their mandate. Before long they caught up with Mr. “Hot Finger.”
In the midst of the cascades of slap, kicks and blows, Hot Finger was the perfect picture of penitence and remorse. Begging, pleading and remonstrating with those “nemesising” him.

Then at one point, one of the mob, procured a used car tyre and a roar of approval rose from the crowd. Everybody knew that neck-lacing, (the street jurisprudence of roasting by fire a lynch-victim to death) the ultimate street sentence in Lagos was about to take place. However to every-body’s surprise, the now badly battered thief stopped crying and begging for mercy. He managed to rise to his feet and looking death boldly in the face asked in a loud piercing voice:

“Ha, eberu Olorun o
Ki no mo gbe, kileju?
Sentori poosi 50k
Lefi gbe taya wa?


“You people should fear God
What did I steal that warrants roasting me to death?
Because of a fifty kobo purse you brought out a tyre? (to roast me?)

The thief’s questions were an unbeatable summary of all the teachings and precepts on Justice. Since the crowd had no answer to this question, it dispersed quietly, not unlike the Biblical mob that caught a woman in the very act of adultery. I remembered this story whilst ruminating over my own case – Chief Judge of Lagos State Vs Adesina Ogunlana. Every ardent squibber knows about my case before the Legal Practitioners Disciplinary Committee and that I appeared before the committee on the 26th May 2009. A lot of things happened there that day but I want to talk only of what I call the “DELE OYE MAGIC”.
You see Mr. Dele Oye, a most amiable and successful barrister is the prosecutor in my case. Naturally he signed the complaint (charge) against me. That complaint is dated the 25th May 2009 and has three counts. But there is something curious about that first count. Before I go on, may I present you the count in question.

Complaint
1. That you Adesina Ogunlana as a legal practitioner in your capacity as Editor-In-Chief of a Magazine The Squib published in various editions of the magazine dated 18th September, 2001, 17th October; 2001; 21st June, 2004; 5th July, 2004, 21st March, 2005; 15th May, 2006; 24th May, 2006; 15th June, 2006; 6th October, 2006; 29th January, 2007 and 21st May, 2007; articles and/or write ups that contain defamatory words and innuendoes against Judges of the Lagos State Judiciary in the Squib Magazine, that by that publication, you attacked the dignity and reputation of Judges of Lagos State, thereby putting the Judges and the Court into public disrepute, public odium and by the above conduct, you are guilty of professional misconduct, all contrary to Rules 1, 30 31(i), 36 (b) & (e) and liable to punishment under Rules 55(1) under the Rules of Professional Conduct in the Legal Profession and Section 12 of the Legal Practitioners Act as amended.

Of course this is a most curious count. Remember that this complaint emerged after the Chief Bandele Aiku Disciplinary Committee of the NBA in May 2003 recommenced my trial before the Body of Benchers Disciplinary Committee.

The Aiku Committee made their recommendation after an “ex-parte” consideration and treatment of the petition of one Mrs. Justice Ibitola Adebisi Sotuminu, a former Chief Judge of Lagos State against me.
The Sotuminu petition was dated 2nd January 2003. Are you getting the picture, more clearly now? As night follows the day, then the Complaint filed by Prosecutor Dele Oye must follow the charge (another matter entirely) brought to his table, against me. The question you may help ask Prosecutor Dele Oye is simple and is this:- Did Sotuminu’s petition of 2 January 2003 refer in any way or pertain to, or connect with any allegedly defamatory articles I wrote in the Squib of 21st June 2004, 5th July 2004, 21st March 2005, 15th May 2006, 24th May 2006, 15th June 2006, 6th October 2006, 29th January 2007 and 21st May 2007.

Haba, you people should fear God! I must confess at this point even my delicate wife, Ibi, I mean Ibi the genuine article, upon sighting the count in question expressed her disappointment at why the accusation stopped at merely 2007. According to my lady, “they ought to include 2008, 2009 and in fact go right up to 2020, since you are sure to still be writing “defamatory articles” then.

What is Prosecutor Dele Oye trying to turn the Legal Practitioners Disciplinary Committee to? A kangaroo court, where all manners of shenanigans, hanky-panky jiggery-pokery, hocus-pocus and namby-pamby are tolerated, practiced and entertained? Is it not reasonable to wonder at this point whether this curious count is not a real indicator and a Freudian Ship that Prosecutor Dele Oye is part of a plot to see me off the legal profession at all cost and by all means foul?

For where and when did anybody write petitions against me for making the unknown and unstated defamatory publications was in the Squib in years 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007? Where and when also have I been called upon by the NBA to give a response to any such petitions? And where and when did the NBA recommend me for trial before Legal Practitioners Disciplinary Committee for trial in respect of the said articles?

If the answers to these questions are in the negative and they must be, then clearly count 1 is a special contrivance of Prosecutor Dele Oye.
Yet I am in no competition with this man. I am not in interested for example in becoming a silk and both of us are not salivating over any salacious lass or mustering over a common mammon.
So why this?

I guess I have not been lucky with men called Dele in this ease. The NBA official who forgot to append his signature to the NBA letter introducing Sotuminu’s petition to me is called Dele Adesina. He is a Yoruba man. Later he became a Senior Advocate of Nigeria. The elder who headed the NBA Disciplinary Committee who determined the Sotuminu petition against me without bothering too much to hear from me and inform me of their sitting etc is called BanDELE Aiku. He is a Senior Advocate of Nigeria. He is also a Yoruba. The gentleman who is prosecuting me before the LPDC is another Dele – Dele Oye. He is not yet a S.A.N but may God make him one and very soon too. He too is a Yoruba, or at least Yorubaish.

I have checked through the names of the adjudicators in this case and lo and behold, the mercy of God – there is no Dele among them.
Let no one’s heart fail, on my account in this case. I will win it and my enemies will be put to shame.
Where is the initiator of all this action, today? Where is the inheritor? And where will he be soon?
Do you ask me of my audacity? It is in God. When a man boasts in God and says every time in his magazine that-“The Heavens Will Not Fall”, be sure that Heaven will not fail him. No matter what.

By the way Ogostus is slowly fading away. If ever there is any open send-off for the worthy, you can be sure that I and all geckos will be there.
“Apa omode won o ka gi ose”
Please tell them.
“Won kere si number wa, ke”
Please tell them again!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

'Why Impunity Grows' By Adesina Ogunlana

I may be wrong but I think Nigeria must one of the best places to commit any manner of crime. And it is not just because it may be relatively easy to give the law a dirty and open slap on the face or to escape detection.

I've come to my conclusion because of the actual very low chances of a criminal getting punished and adequately so, in the rather unlikely event of apprehension.

This is what I mean. The mere fact that a criminal is apprehended, even with unassailable proof of his culpability does not mean that the wrath of the law will fall on him. Rather any or a combination of the following possibilities will take place.

1. Victims of the crime and any other complainant will be put under intense emotional pressure not to press charges against the malefactor.

2. Where a report is made, the police or any other investigating body will wittingly or unwittingly bungle the investigation.

3. Where the police arraigns the criminal suspect before a court of law, the suspect will compromise either the prosecution witnesses or the trial judex or both.

This first possibility accounts for the large percentage of unprosecuted, unchastisised and ultimately, un-reformed miscreants.

When the first possibility is at play, all manners of people including the long-departed ancestors of the criminal suspect are procured to plead with the victim not to intimate the relevant agencies of the state of the illegality of the criminal suspect.

And, the ‘bigger’ the status of the offender, the heavier the pressure on the unfortunate victim(s).
Friends, relatives, work-mates, former school mates, neighbours, townmates, faith-mates of the malefactor, all will descend on the hapless victim(s), begging, pleading, exhorting, counseling, importuning and praying the victim(s) not to take action against the, malefactor. From this diverse tribes of pleaders you will hear statements such as:

“The devil pushed him to it, please forgive him. It is the devil!”
“I can tell you he has learnt his lessons, he will never again do such a thing”
“To err is human, but to forgive is divine”
“What do you want to gain by sending this man to prison?”
“If you report him (to the police) he is sure to go to jail. Consider what will happen to his pregnant wife five kids and aged parents?
“If you hand him over to the police, it will appear like vengeance. But vengeance is of the Lord. Let him go and let the Lord deal with him”
“I am not saying you should not hand him to the police. But don’t forget that you are a Christian and as such must be merciful”.
“Why do I say you should not report him? Don’t you know people will ascribe his destruction and downfall to you. You shouldn’t be responsible for that kind of a thing”
“Remember he is a Yoruba man like you. Igbos and Hausas always protect their own, so why must we destroy our own man?

For most victims, the pressure works and a potential jail bird, goes scot-free or at the worst gets off with a mere slap on the wrist. Of course, as we all know, in such situations, lightening will strike again. And again. And again with the society getting worse and worse.

Monday, August 10, 2009

'Tea Without Sugar' By Adesina Ogunlana

The other day, a gentleman who claimed he had just returned from a Big Game “Safari Trip” to East Africa could be heard regaling listeners with stories of his adventure in Tanzania, Uganda and Kenya. How the fellow liked to tell those stories.
But no longer. The stories and the excitement dried up the day one of his already-bored-to-death listeners asked him- “On your trip, did you see any lions? The traveller said ‘no’. Then came another question - What of elephants and rhinoceroses? Again the answer was a “No”. Then another question – But surely you saw the buffaloes and the other big cats like leopards, cheetahs?” Once more, the answer was a “No”.
What’s the use of a big game Safari trip when it’s only rats and birds you saw?” quipped the questioner.
I think a similar questioned can be asked the Electoral Committee of the Nigerian Bar Association, Lagos branch.
On Friday 5th June 2009, the Obi Okwusogu (SAN) led Committee rolled out some “masu-mato” guidelines for the July 2009 elections of the branch.
The Okwusoguan Decree reads thus:
ATTENTION

HUSTINGS IN THIS ELECTION SHALL BE IN THE BEST TRADITION OF THE BAR.
* There shall be no posting of candidates posters anywhere.
* There shall be no smear campaigns against any candidates.
* There shall be no publications either in the print or electronic media by any candidates either by themselves or on their behalf by any person or persons.
* Candidates shall not distribute gifts of any kind or money to procure votes and voters are barred for accepting same.
* Any breach of the foregoing and/or any other dishonourable acts by candidates and their supporters shall lead to disqualification.
In my respectful view, the only reasonable ‘decree’ of the lot is no 4, but then every political animal knows that, that decree will only be observed in the breach.
What do you make of decree no 1? Is that order banning use of posters or the pasting of posters? There are many other ways of using posters without pasting same? And what is the Committee going to do about pasting posters on line?
But by Jove, what is wrong with posters? I guess it is an elections the guys are participating in? How would the electors put a face to the candidates, when their identities are under wraps?
Ordinance 2 forbids smear campaigns. But I ask what is a smear campaign? If a fellow contestant is a proven and established rapscallion or an “unrepentable” till taker, is it wrong to let the electors know the unsavory facts(s)?
Ordinance 3 places a ban on publications about candidates in the press. To me this is to say the least, wonderful! Elections without the press? That is election without public enlightenment. That is tea without sugar. Marriage without sex!
Ordinance 5 is the most pathetic of the orders. According to the ordinance pasting of posters and press publications are all part of what are ‘dishonourable’ in an election of a lawyers’ association.
If you ask me, this is ridiculous and even mischievous. Add, plain unrealistic.
What type of elections is this, where it is a sin, to engage the offices of the press? Is it an election for the dumb and the blind?
Interestingly, the Electoral Committee says the guidelines are to ensure that the elections are conducted in the best traditions of the bar. But which traditions and which bar? Are we talking of the Nigerian Bar Association of the 21st century, where for the past ten years, the number of lawyers produced by the nation are more than all the lawyers produced in the first one hundred years of legal practice in Nigeria?
Or are we talking of the bar, where ancients like Bankole Oki S.A.N, Tunji Gomez S.A.N were but toddlers then and all the number of lawyers in Lagos would not have filled up a BRT Bus?
When you stage a deaf and dumb elections where as it were pigs are bought in the poke, it is reasonable to expect the emergence of a lame and blind leadership.
Elections without campaigns, is, I say again like tea without sugar. NBA Lagos branch, please wake up!

WILBERFORCE VS POLICE FORCE

W.A.E Meigbope is a magistrate. Magistrate of Lagos State. On Tuesday 19th May 2009, this magistrate became another proof of the saying “anything can happen in Nigeria”. Any thing.
On the fateful day, according to a newspaper report, the personal dignity of Meigbope and of the institution (Lagos State Magistracy) which he represents were brutally rubbished. Courtesy of a gang of police-men who took leave of their senses, in the discharge of what they perceived their duty.
According to the report, the police were determined to re-arrest some accused-persons whom the magistrate-had just released, when the police withdrew charges against them before the court.
Immediately out of the courtroom, the police pounced on discharges. Some of these people now ran back to the court room for the protection of the magistrate.
This move would not deter the policemen. According to a very reliable eye-witness, they forcefully lay hands on the men, as well as some lawyers whom the men had clung to in desperation, as it were for protection. The laying of hands was not done in the manner of the Apostles of old, I should quickly add. It was done in the manner of belligerent storm-troopers-involving free use of fist blows, slaps, kicks and gun butts.
Of course the encounter, fully brutish and un-british-could not be conducted in the quietude of gentility but in the cacophonous swell of-violence. The noise of the ensuing bedlam soon got into the ears of the magistrate, who rose from the bench to see things for himself. Mistake No 1. And, to intervene. Mistake No 2. Mistakes that nearly cost him his life as the power-demented-police-men gave him some-rather unjudicious blows to his face and body, dragged him on the ground, tore his shirt and threatened to blow his judicial brains out.
When Meigbope came out of his court room to see things for himself, he left with his-dignity, honour and the glory of his office intact. When he returned or rather when he was returned to his chambers, a few minutes later, it was sans dignity, honour and glory. He was in worse a situation than a man hit by a cyclone!
Meigbope took the steps he took, apparently in a fit of judicial patriotism and activism. But he forgot the saying that “When guns boom, the law is silent”. The encounter between Meigbope and his assaulters cannot but be otherwise-Nigeria still being a (half)-jungle where might is still right
What will be the end of this matter? I can swear on the tomb of Joseph of Arimathea that, nothing, absolutely nothing will happen. I doubt whether the upper echelon of authority of the Lagos State Judiciary will do anything much about the-incident, apart from scratching the ground like backyard hens. After all Meigbope is just a mere Magistrate, not even a chief Magistrate.
If he were a Judge now, one could reasonably expect some more positive and dedicated-reaction from his employers. In Lagos State judiciary, it would appear that judges are the only ones who really count in terms of solid welfare interests. They are the salt of the earth.
Before you accuse me of talking or writing squibish-nonsense (as usual) please consider the following facts.
In 2002, some police-men beat a judiciary staff to a coma right in the premises-of the Ikeja High Court. The staff’s name is Alhaji Olowoyo. Nothing happened to his assaulters, who claimed they came to the court to arrest touts in the premises. Some four years later, another detachment of police stormed the open registry of the same Ikeja High Court. They were looking for alleged crooked clerks suspected of “eating government money” in the registry.
However in the performance of their duties, they ended up roughing up all and sundry found in the registry at the material time, including legal practitioners and their clerks who were there to file papers. The union of workers quickly mobilized to protest the invasion. However before long the organizers of the protest, found themselves out of jobs.
So in the light of the above, I dare say nothing will happen to Meigbope’s assaulters. But mark my words-one of these days a judge will not only be beaten up, but stripped naked right in premises of the-court.
By the way, the first name of Meigbope is Wilber-force, while is assaulters belong to the Police-force Now when force meets force, the weaker one bends.
You get my drift?