Monday, July 16, 2012

'As you lay your bed' By Adesina Ogunlana


The English may say “as you lay your bed, so you lie on it”. In the same wise an African will declare “as you pound your yam, so you eat it”.

 These proverbs and many others like that express the certainty of the nexus between cause and effect. The wise sayings invariably tell Man that he is wholly responsible for the consequences of his actions, and nobody or nothing else. Man however by nature hates to indict himself in adverse situations. “Others” are wrongly held responsible. Others like “government” “police” “destiny” etc.


Look at the N.B.A. Our N.B.A. The out-going J.B Daudu regime is certainly the most unpopular administration since at least 1998, no thanks to the leadership style and perspective of the head of that administration-Joseph Daudu.
 

Personally I wonder why the man retained his first and middle names. His surname Daudu seems apt for his personality trait. For Daudu is lordly. Daudu’s first name is Joseph. Joseph? No, for the Biblical Joseph the gifted dreamer and the wizard administrator differed greatly in temperament and achievements than our conceited Daudu. Herod the pitiless, murderous tyrant of the Bible is more like it. As for Daudu’s middle name of Bodunrin which can be translated rightly as the “festival kid,” I think “Bonaparte” the imperial and overtly ambitious emperor of France should fit in here.

Really I think Mr. J.B. Daudu, whose imperial presidency of the N.B.A is fast expiring should be called  H.B Daudu or Herod Bonaparte Daudu in full. Although full of wisdom in his own eyes and the eyes of a few loyalists and bootlickers, H.B Daudu is seriously disliked in the N.B.A. He would be remembered for concentrating virtually all powers and management of the association in his hands, for favouritism to his wife and child in the N.B.A, for taking the Haliburton case, for stubbornly and foolishly waging and losing the war of overhauling the N.B.A constitution, of increasing Annual Conference Fees by about 500%, for foolhardy insistence and maneuvers to have the Delegates Election hold at Boko Haram infested Kaduna, etc.

As far as many members of the NBA are concerned, especially NEC members who are much more informed than the general “laity,” the Daudu  years 2010 – 2012 were largely unpalatable. The question is-: who to blame? There is none to blame other than the electorate. H. B Daudu did not rig his way into power in 2010. In fact he won fair and square and roundly defeated J.K Gadzama SAN.

Majority of those who are now complaining about Daudu’s pig-headed tyranny borne upon abominable and insufferable intellectual conceit, voted recklessly for the power monster. The vanguard of his electoral support were the irredentist conclavist dinosaurs of the West, the Egbe Amofin and their troop soldiers all who suspended their faculties of critical thinking and appraisal because of shameful, unprogressive primitivism of tribal loyalties.

We told all who cared to listen that J.B Daudu was not suited for the job of N.B.A President but would they listen? As a candidate, the man was wooden taciturn, not accessible, wouldn’t greet and worse, would not readily even acknowledge greetings from   the electorate, so full of himself was he, like one of those vain Greek gods up on Mount Olympus. Now another chance is here for voters to determine the leadership of the N.B.A for the next two years.

My advice to every one, especially tribal irredentists is “SHINE YOUR EYES! Shine your eyes “well well” to avoid yesterday’s MISTAKE and not to lament on the morrow.

   

'Kaduna yes, Abuja, No!' By Adesina Ogunlana


My Dear President,

          I am sorry I have to go straight to the point of why I am sending this message to you. I ask, most respectfully, “Is it true that the Delegates Election Conference of our dear NBA is no longer taking place in Kaduna but in Abuja”?

          I need and urgently too, to hear from you on this score? Dozens, of lawyers have told me that in your imperial wisdom and humbled opinion, you have shifted the Delegates Election Conference from Kaduna to Abuja since about two weeks ago.

          Sir, when it comes to you, I am not moved by numbers, for we now know that “you are the god of the NBA” courtesy of the flatterer Master of Ceremony at the Inauguration Ceremony of the Ikere Ekiti Branch just last week.

          Now since you are a god of the N.B.A, you like Napoleon Bonaparte, are worth more than forty-thousand ordinary lawyers.

          You would recall that since a mere four months ago, many voices have cried out against having the 2012 elections in your Kaduna state base. In fact there was this self-styled Dame in our Association who took the trouble of writing a lengthy article against such a venture and who also took the greater trouble of getting the article published in many national newspapers.

          Of course you were sager than to accord any worth to the rantings of a mere woman. In April 2012, we all were at the N.E.C meeting of the Association at Lokoja, Kogi state and expectedly the issue of where to hold the elections came up again.

          I clearly remember that you allowed only four people to speak on the matter (whether or not the Elections venue should shift from Kaduna). The worthy four were:- Lanke Odogiyan-the chairman of the Electoral Committee 2012, Mrs. Priscilla Kuye, Mr. Olisa Agbakoba, Mr. Yusuf Ali.

          Expectedly all the men in the list above spoke sense. Eminent sense. They all said the election venue should stay in Kaduna. That there was no danger in Kaduna. That there was no real danger. That the state Government and security forces were on top of the situation.

The most touching of all the speakers was Lanke Prince Odogiyan who told the NEC that a man of God had assured him that God had assured the man of God that no bomb would explode on lawyers in Kaduna during the Delegates Election. It was the only female in the list, Mrs. Priscilla Kuye who departed from sense in her submission. She, relying on hard facts and figures, said that Kaduna would not be safe for lawyers to hold any functions.

          Of course, you did not leave sense for nonsense. The sense was what the three wise-men: Lanke Odogiyan, Yusuf Ali and Olisa Agbakoba had opined, to wit, that the election should hold in Kaduna.

          You suspected and rightly so that my Branch, the Tigers of Ikeja and the most progressive of all the now 99 branches of the N.B.A would not speak agreeable sense on the matter, hence you stuck to your tradition of not recognizing us at the meeting for recognition.

          You will recall that during the morning break I walked up to where your divinity was seated and enquired thus: “Ha ha, Egbon, a no wo, na wo sibe e tie le pewa” (haba, elder brither, inspite of our repeated raise of hands you refused to give us a chance to talk).

          You reply (delivered with a merry smile) was direct, frank but most unfortunate. You said “Haa, Ikeja, ke wada mi lagbo nu” (I have to do that, lest you guys from Ikeja spoil my game plan).

          So your game-plan and clear intention was to hold the Election in Kaduna and you with the aid of your wise-men had your way in Lokoja.

          Of course stupid, dim-witted people like me thought that Kaduna was and still remains seriously unsafe and that it is hugely irresponsible of any responsible leader of lawyers to provoke the deadliness of the blood thirsty, soul-snatching and death-dealing Boko-Haram group with the presence of thousands of well-fed products and end-results of Western education, on their own very turf.

          You however stuck to your guns and equally wise people like you were preparing for Kaduna, ostensibly to meet their makers in July.

          Much later the news came that the Almighty J. B. Daudu, the god of NBA had agreed to take away the elections from Kaduna to Abuja.

          Sir is this true? Can it be true?

          If it’s true, then you have terribly disappointed me and hundreds of your numerous supporters. You have made a name of your RIGIDITY, FIRMNESS OF PURPOSE AND OMINISCIENCE.

          Oh how are the gargantuan fallen and the pillars of the celebrated ORACLE OF KADUNA CRUMBLE?

          A leader must be consistent to the end. This is my grouse with you. You who never changes, what has come over you now? I was so sure of your infallible sense of (mis)indgement that I believed that you would change the election venue, only, to better and safer places like Maiduguri, Bauchi and Damaturu.

          Why should a brave general like you now run to Abuja? Is it because of the few crackers the BH people exploded recently that sent you panicking?

          You ought to know, such explosives are not capable of detonation in any gathering of lawyers. Even before they are thrown, a clever N.B.A president would have secured an injunction against BH and other possible death-merchants not to attack any lawyer in Kaduna between 16th -18th July 2012.

          By your decision to move us from Kaduna to Abuja, I know you must have disappointed your three wise-men:- Agbakoba, Yusuf Ali and Lanke Odogiyan.

          By the way, may I suggest another disagreeable sense to you - Abuja is not really a safe alternative, why not come down West or go East for the elections?

 

'The African Condition' By Adesina Ogunlana

Men love mysteries or do I say mystery maketh men. As a specie, man is inordinately fascinated with the mysterious. Could be that way, because we are curious creatures always wanting to know everything about everything. I suspect our curiosity is tied to our security in that we feel or think our security is heavily dependent on the knowledge of and possible mastery of our environment.

What is that man does not want to know? A man not only wants to know all that can be known about his past, his present and his future, but whether and how his future can affect his past or when, where and how his present can be affected by his future? Are you confused here? If you ask me, to define what mystery is, I will simply give you our unbeatable definition to wit “Mystery is what is mysterious to man”.

Are you confused again or merely bemused?

A mystery is what Man does not know or cannot readily figure wit. When Man is in that state of mental bafflement he now substitutes facts with the suppositions (oft times fallacious) of his own inventions and ideas. Friends, this is how legends, myths and superstitious are born. So let’s have another definition of mystery, according to the Squib’s Dictionary of words-“A mystery is the product of the imagination of man, in a state of solid ignorance”.

So much, if not all, of superstition is hogwash. Baloney. But men are in love with superstition, much as they are captivated with mysteries. Of course superstition gives birth to taboos! Now this is serious.

Consider. Taboos (dos and don’ts of every culture, usually prohibitive of certain behavior with a guarantee of mystic sanctions or punishment for the taboo breaker) is the child of superstition. Superstition herself is mothered by mysteries, which in turn is fathered by ignorance which in turn is parented by Limited Knowledge. Wow!

So, Limited Knowledge is the great, great Grandfather. Ignorance is the Great grandfather. Mystery is the Grandfather. Superstition is the father. Taboo is the son. You need to ask whether taboo is the last of the generations of Limited knowledge, in other words does Taboo have any off-spring(s)? The answer is yes. But I will not disclose that worthy’s identity. Today.

Whether alone or in company, man sprouts superstitions. There is a superstition about everything and everywhere. We have superstitions, so many, that there are superstitions about superstitions! There is a superstition about numbers. There are so called lucky numbers as well as unlucky numbers. Unlucky numbers are believed to be not only harbingers of evil, but are, also treasurers of calamities. One of such numbers is 13. I have read it up somewhere that there are many cities or towns in Europe where street numbers do not include the number 13. Instead of having the dreaded number, the affected address will be styled 12A.


But is 13 really an unlucky number? I don’t think so, after all numbers, indeed numeracy is just one of those social inventions of main to cope with the challenges of living in society and making meaning out of lives.

Interestingly, Inmidun Akande J. the immediate past Chief Judge of Lagos State, was the 13TH CHIEF JUDGE OF LAGOS STATE.

She came to the ‘judicial throne’ in September 2009 and left June 10 2012 making a total of 1004 days. Her tenure was epochal and outstandingly successful in seriously whittling down the overbearing influence of the Executive arm of government over the finances and developmental projects of the Lagos State Judiciary.

No matter what any one may say, the truth remains that under her watch, the Judiciary was more of a partner in power than ever before.

There was no abnormal incidents such as mass deaths or regular demise or uncommon dearth of prosperity.

And it could be said of her, that she did more for her staff, than all the Chief Judge’s before her in the last fifteen years. So what’s unlucky about her being the 13th Chief Judge of Lagos. She came in pomp and left with greater pomp.

So are you still saying No 13 is an unlucky number? Bah!