Saturday, December 11, 2010

' A Note for African leaders' by Adesina Ogunlana

Dear Sirs and Madams,

Of course this letter is meant for you. You, of course, you. You are a leader, alright, yes. It's true you are not the President, or a Minister, or a Governor, or a Commissioner. You are not a Mayor or a Councillor. You are not the head of the Civil or Public Service Ministry or a "parastatal." Maybe you are not a "traditional" ruler or even a village head. But then you hold an office. You have some authority. You have some people you direct, influence or affect. So then you are leader, maybe the leader of a small club or association, or department, or station or a shop. You do legitimate work. You have a title, some souls, maybe one, maybe two, three, four, seven, ten look up to you.
Yes, you may have none of those big paraphernalia of office or enjoy any tasty prerequisite of office, but why, you have some powers, control, influence over some other people, even in your alleged rat hole. You are a leader, my dear. It is important that you the African leader exercise your powers and discharge your duties with the greatest sense of responsibility. See, the African continent and its many disease ravaged, war-torn, poverty stricken, corruption crippled nations are in a big, big mess.
And the rest of the world see and treat us as nothing but fools and dirty swine.
How do I know? I just watched a film entitled HOTEL RWANDA. Maybe you too have watched it. It's about the genocide that bled Rwanda, one of the East African countries in the early 1990s.
At the height of the conflict between the majority but historically disfavoured Hutu and the minority but historically favoured Tutsi, the massacre of the Tutsi in their hundreds was a daily affair. The United Nations sent only a few troops – peacekeepers they called them, maybe about three hundred. The massacre continued but the world just looked on. At a point the French sent some troops and the hundreds of traumatized victims, those still alive rejoiced. They thought a saving interventionist force had come. But it was a hope, sorely misplaced; the French had come for the bail out of foreign nationals – the ‘Oyinbos.’
Why so? The beleaguered head of the United Nation troops gave the reason as far as the Western World was concerned; the millions of affected Rwandans were not worthy of attention, help or rescue.
Why so? The Rwandans were so inferior in the scale of humanity that they, were in the eyes of the Western World, lower than the already despised ‘Niggers.’


Said the UN troop leader to the hero of the film – “You (referring to Rwandans) are not (even) Niggers. You are Africans.” It hurt to hear this. To know that some other human beings so very poorly regard us, another set of homo-sapiens, that our terrible suffering and horrendous loss of lives mean nothing or little to them. Why so? I guess one finds it very tempting to consider the Whites callous and barbaric cousins of the Devil himself. But that’s only one way of looking at it.
Can one heap the blame completely on the Whites for seeing us as sub-humans? Don’t we deserve the opprobrium seeing the way we ruin, instead of run our lives and our economies, and our institutions and our nations and souls and our bodies by our unrelenting and shameless thieving gluttony and shocking selfishness.
Virtually all our leaders, in both small and big positions are liars and self seekers, who take and hold public office with the grim determination to enrich themselves at the expense of those they ought to serve.
This global mismanagement of the resources of the African people by their own leaders, negroes, Africans like themselves is the reason for 99% of the unspeakable woes of the Black man and which woeful, doleful condition has made us repugnant in the eye of the rest of the world.
Who will save the African?
Nobody, except…..
Please fill in the gap.


Squib Health at  http://www.squibhealth.blogspot.com

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

''Yampion People" By Adesina Ogunlana

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You've probably have heard this joke – a south westerner was at the newsstands and requested for “a copy of the “Champion” news paper. Said the amala-abula man to the vendor – “give me sampion
It was almost instantaneous, the guffaw that came from a bystander who after recovering from a hearty stretch of laughter said “see this man o, na yampion you dey call “sampion"
According to a newspaper report an organization named “ANTI BABANGIDA COALITION" (ABC) declared that it would mount an insurgency should General Ibrahim Babangida become the next president of the country.
I was aghast at this news. The ABC people were said to be a group of “activists” earnestly contending for democracy. If the news item was correct, then the ABC would be a very strange type of apostles of democracy.
The most elementary of lessons in democracy is that it is a “game of numbers” – the Candidate with the greatest number of popular support have the office be he a killer, drunkard, treasury looter, drug dealer, bomb thrower or even bum pumper. The whole idea is to give effect to the ‘Ori-Ojori’ political myth of the EQUALITY of men, which is the kernel of DEMOCRACY and its famous character of “Majority carries the day”
Every political philosophy has decision makers – in theocracy, God, in gerontocracy, the elders, in autocracy, the junta, in aristocracy, the elite, in monarchism, royalty, in plutocracy, money bags, in democracy, the people.
And, that is why Democracy is so simply and beautifully described as “government of the people, by the people and for the people, but in reality it is the government of the people, by the will of the majority of the people, for the people.
It is therefore a compulsion for a democrat that the wishes of the people is considered and treated as sacrosanct.
Of course, the views of the people are not always sound and the choice of the majority is not always good but a democrat abides by it, for the majority, by its sheer superiority of numbers is deemed to appreciate the point in question better than the minority.
So when the ABC folks say that they would ‘take to the bush’ and fight to the end, should Babangida emerge President, they betray either an ignorance of the understanding of the essential Democracy or worse, they expose the fact that they themselves are tyrants and no democrats.
It could have been a different matter had they premised their threatened insurgency on the event of Babangida’s FRAUDULENT emergence as the next president of Nigeria. In the 1998 build-up to the 1999 General Elections, General Theophilus Danjuma scandalised many people when he vowed to go on self-exile should his choice for the nation’s presidency Olusegun “Umoru are you dead?” Obasanjo lose the elections.
Note that Danjuma’s position effectively is that “I will remove myself from the scene if my candidate fails and not that I will forcefully change the scene to suit my will and preference”. Yet many people, including elements of the ABC sharply criticized Danjuma. But the ABC people have done much worse now. Unlike Danjuma, their position is that if Babangida should be the popular choice they will fight that choice. That is not only wrong, it is abominable. ‘Yampion’ is a worse pronunciation of ‘Champion’ than ‘Sampion.’











Monday, October 25, 2010

"Wahala Dey' By Adesina Ogunlana

A signature tune on the tube of one of the better known stress depressors in the land is an excitable ululation of “Wahala dey!”



To this particular comedian “wahala dey” is a far cry from the true character of “wahala” better known in Nigerian English as “big, big trouble.”


In this piece, as you will very soon find out when I say “Wahala dey” I mean exactly nothing less.


Some days ago, (Friday 15 October 2010) I was a guest at a dinner organized by a group of law undergraduates. It was a memorable day alright, but not for all the right reasons.


It was a big privilege, indeed honour to be put on the high table, where also sat one of those at whose feet twenty years ago, I was fed the milk of law as a fresher.


Also on the high table was a “worshipful majesty,” a great friend of the 1st Gecko who continues to tease me as a “small boy” even though discreet scientific investigation has shown that I landed on this terra firma before her.


Of course we the “older-generation" had issues to pick with the “generation of the day” our hosts. We disagreed with their dressing (disco party wears mostly), with their “lingo” (especially the penchant for introducing lawyers as “Barrister This and Barrister That" as well as their reference to themselves as “lawyers-in-equity."


From the lecturer in our midst, we heard depressing information about the state of university education in Nigerian. For example we learnt that class population of students can be as high as 450. Twenty years ago, we were only 46 in number in my set.


We also learnt that the command of the English language of the average law student is so poor it would be easier marking a law examination script written in pidgin Greek than wading through the scripts of the modern law undergraduates written in specially concocted English.


As if that was not enough, we learnt that it was a common thing for “stubborn” lecturers to be threatened to 'pass' even the most “yammy” of his class or face severe, nay, fatal sanctions.


The most chilling of the news from “my oga” was that due to the high rate of failure amongst students, 40% was no longer the pass mark, but 25%!
Even at that about 35% of these students still fail.

In effect what the universities are churning out these days are nothing but “certificated ignoramuses," be they labeled “engineers,” “doctors,” “accountants,” “lawyers” etc.


It has been said that half education is dangerous, so what do we say of quarter education: ‘dangerful?'
Listen to my lecturer:


"I was teaching on the topic of legal capacity and how it relates to infants. You know the stuff about how an infant can only have capacity to contract for necessaries. So I gave an example of infant entering a contract to buy a bicycle, only for one wonderful student to say such an infant is only putting himself in unnecessary danger: “what if the BRT buses should run him over?”


My people-Ah, wahala dey!


Wednesday, October 20, 2010

'An African Tragedy' By Adesina Ogunlana




Omo ale


Lo n fi ow osi


Ju ‘we ile baba re” (Yoruba proverb)


(Only a bastard points out his father’s house with his left hand)






Sometimes last month, in the fore-teeth of September, I was on official duty as it were, one fine Sunday afternoon, to Ibadan.


The occasion was the thanksgiving service and reception of Mr. Erhabor 2nd Vice President NBA for his electoral success in the last Delegates election of the NBA in July 2010.


Expectedly O.J’s friends, relatives, admirers turned up at the event, likewise his political supporters and strategists. Success is never a lonely brand.


It was a rich quiet victory dance of a thanksgiving service. It was praises galore to God for the “wonderful victory” recorded by O.J at the polls. The man himself received a lot of commendations from all and sundry.


Yet the happy event was marred for me, incidentally from rather unlikely quarters; a royal father from Ilesa, Oyo State- O.J’s practice base.


The royal father, a high chief from Ilesa who was more or less the representative of the paramount ruler of Ijesa land prefaced his speech with these stunning remarks- “When I left home, today the Kabiyesi specifically instructed me that I should not speak the English language here, that I should deliver his message at this gathering in Yoruba language. But when I got here and saw the array of learned men all over here, I was perplexed. I thought within me how could I deliver Kabiyesi’s message in this August gathering in Yoruba. So as things stand, I will speak in English and when I get home, I will tell Kabiyesi that I just could not speak Yoruba in the place you sent me”






I was shocked and saddened at this declaration which was a desecration of culture, a perfect and tragic self abnegation and degradation of the entity called the Africa. The greater tragedy was that the foul talk was greeted with applause, smiles and wide grins. What a horror - like you must feel, seeing a mad man marching up and down a busy street in broad day light, in only his skin, arms akimbo and whistling merrily away! My sadness can only be imagined. By his declaration, the chief (is he really a chief?) thumped his race in the face. How can a true Africa high chief declare openly that he could not obey his monarch and did just that brazenly? What a sorry pass the African ‘monarchy’ (even if only decorative) has come to, that the instructions of a first class king like the Owa of Ilesa could be treated with levity by his own ambassador. The chief’s (is he really a chief?) position is quite clear - Yoruba is not a language fit for the society of civilized folks and enlightened souls, but fit I reasonably presume for the hills of Philistia and Isles of Barbary!


Oh, how are the mighty fallen! Oh what arrant nonsense! Yoruba the home of a thousand and one poetics, the flute of the dirge, the trumpet of the panegyrist, the drum of the Oshugbo, the voice of the Ifa the unerring deity of divination, the conductor of the potent invocation, the very tongue of Oduduwa, understood and respected in the heavenly ………. Now not good for use in the midst of mere mortals who happen to be lawyers?


Indeed, how very low are the mighty fallen! That Ilesa chief is typical of most Africans; deep, fervent and incorrigible believers in the inferiority of the African in the comity of the human race.


Oh, pity for a people who take pride in other people and pour scorn on themselves. Oh, pity for self made, self-defined slaves. Oh, pity for a race that calls others giants and themselves mites. Oh, pity for fools and ignoramuses. As for me I AM BLACK AND PROUD.


Sunday, October 17, 2010

'NBA ELECTIONS 2010: LET THE TRUTH BE TOLD' By Adesina Ogunlana

Immediately the 2010 general elections of the Nigerian Bar Association ended and the results announced, late in the evening of 29" July 2010 at the JOGOR CENTRE, Ibadan, Oyo state, the organizers and the winners of the election have not been silent in awarding high pass marks for the conduct of the elections which has been lavishly described as a huge success and prescribed a model for the larger Nigeria polity to copy.


Reading the many fulsome praises of the said elections, the ordinary man on the streets would be forgiven to think it a perfectly executed event devoid of any blemish or shenanigan whatsoever.


However any honest and informed participant or, and observer would admit that the claims of a perfect election are in reality, the inflation of the truth.


In the humble view of this columnist, the more correct assessment would be that the winners actually defeated their opponents at the polls; a more credible election could easily had been conducted.
A dispassionate view of the election would show that the Electoral Committee headed by Mr. Obi Okwusogu S.A.N erred in some vital areas.


Though accreditation of the compiled List of Voters, on delegates voters was smooth and displayed before the election, simple enough but it was observed showing the voting strength of during the accreditation exercise that there were pockets of complaints from individuals, branches and even some candidates over their registration to General Secretary Ibrahim Mark and Obi Okwusogu about the exclusion or inclusion of some names from the list of delegates.
The resolution of these complaints was fluid as a lot then depended on the personality of the complainant and the discretion of Ibrahim Mark and Obi Okwusogu SAN. For example three candidates from Ikeja branch in the elections Adekunnle Ajasa (financial secretary), Chinwe Nwadike (assistant financial secretary) and Dare Akande (2nd vice president) got accredited as voters only after the vigorous intervention of their branch secretary hours after Ajasa had tried and failed.
On the day of the election itself, it is a fact there was no list of Accredited Delegate voters, before, during or after the elections. In the event, nobody knew how many delegates voted until after the votes were cast when voter stubs were counted numbering 1,204, excluding uncounted rejects. Interestingly the total approved votes cast in the presidential election amounted to 1,205 with 718 going to J.B Dauda and 487 for J.K Gadzama. Clearly the proper procedure ought to be existence of a compiled List of Voters, on Display before the election, showing the voting strength of each of the 88 branches as well as the identities and numbers of automatic voters like Senior Advocacies of Nigeria, Benchers, past National Presidents and General Secretaries, accredited for the election.




In consequence, under the arrangement, the best data that could be had was the number of voters, correlating to the number of votes cast but it could not and did not show or prove the lawful eligibility of the voters. So if the voters included mercenaries and other otherwise unqualified entities, there was no way knowing.


During the voting, this reporter noticed that among delegate voters purportedly from Ibadan branch, at least two, wore double tags on their necks, bearing “observer”, and “delegate.” You wondered whether a person could both be observer and delegate at the same time!


Another low point of the elections that was papered over is the fact that the chairman of the Electoral Committee, Obi Okwusogu SAN perpetrated what could be described as “agent harassment and intimidation.” In the short pre-voting meeting of the Electoral Committee with the agents of the various candidates, Obi Okwusogu S.A.N., the chairman of the E.C throughout maintained the perfervid temperament of a beleaguered porcupine! He was to say the least oppressive in his manners, yelling, hectoring and rudely hushing up any agent who dared express any opinion or ask any question. The charged up silk repeatedly tossed the threat of "under the constitution I have the power to conduct this election and I will order any one out who does not comply with our regulations."


Certainly this bullying by an electoral chief, should not be commended to the Nigerian polity by any right thinking adviser! Why Okwusogu SAN normally a calm, amiable and easy going gentleman became so needlessly irascible and even power-drunk was simply bewildering but the conduct put up by him was construed in certain quarters as nothing more than a ploy to cow the agents of the candidates from opposing any untoward actions of the Electoral Committee.


The participation of Mrs. Fatima Kwaku in the Electoral Committee and conduct of the elections was another low point in the elections. It would be recalled that Kwaku had been deeply involved in the bitter and uproarious dispute that arose over the failed attempt by the falsely monolithic Northern Lawyers Forum a.k.a Arewa to present J. B. Daudu S.A.N as the single presidential candidate in the election and keep J. K. Gadzama out of the race. Up to the very day of the election Kwaku was a well known J. B. Daudu supporter, yet she and other so called learned elders and sages saw no sense in the decency that dictated her self-retirement from the electoral
committee!


In the course of the election proper maybe about three hours after the commencement of voting, the pair of Funmi Roberts and Chief Niyi Akintola rushed in one after the other, may be in the interval of thirty minutes to plead with the agents to agree to the opening of the voting hall to the huge crowd of voters outside.
According to the two lawyers, incidentally both who were co-chairmen of the Local Organising Committee of the Ibadan Delegates conference, the gates to the voting
hall should be opened since the "crowd outside were setting uncontrollable and wild and would soon force their way any how."
Chief Niyi Akintola SAN, a loud and virulent Dauduist was especially earnest in this claim. But when pointedly reminded by this reporter that he lacked the locus to press for such a thing, as to regulating access of voters, he not being part of the Electoral
Committee, his response to the QUO VADIS was a lame "we are only trying to find a solution and some people are just shouting."
All this while, the Electoral Committee maintained a sedate, "all-is-well-in-Zion posture" and did nothing!


The pertinent questions begging for answers were and still are:


1. Is throwing the gates open to a frenzied crowd, on an election ground, a reasonable
option?
2. Who was responsible for lack of crowd control?
3. Why was there such a massive crowd build-up considering the fact that NBA elections normally take 10-15 hours to conclude, and there had been no precedent of
crowd disturbance or unruliness since 1998, after the rebirth of the NBA?


In the light of all the above issues and points, I submit that any well meaning Nigerian patriot will find it hard to recommend the just concluded elections and the
accompanying shenanigans to this lamentable country.


An election where tribalism was a major factor, where key conductors were partisan, where there was no (display of) voters register, where crowd-control was poor, where voters accreditation was not transparent and where election conductors threatened,
terrorised and intimidated agents from asking relevant questions.


I close with this observation. In the Ibadan Delegate Conference election only about 1,204 voters voted in one voting centre. Imagine if it was an election of 30 million voters in 500,000 centres. Just imagine.



Saturday, October 16, 2010

'Go, Man, Go' By Adesina Ogunlana

Eni egungun
Lese lo n se
Laka n laka
Ta la be lo (Yoruba Proverb)
(The needy perforce goes to
the provider)


For the past three weeks now I have been on the campaign train of my candidate for the office of the 2nd Vice-president of the NBA, Oludare Akande of the Ikeja branch.


Most of this time was spent traversing the whole of the North. We were, so to say, everywhere. We had meetings with the Lokoja, Lafia, Bauchi, Birnin Kebbi, Kafanchan, Kano, Kaduna, Katsina, Jos, Jalingo, Makurdi, Minna, Maiduguri, Gboko, Gusau, Gombe, Sokoto, Suleija, Wukari, Yola, Okene, Pankshin, Damaturu, Idah branches of our great association, the N.B.A.


Our peregrinations could not have covered less than ten thousand kilometers, for truly the North is a vast space.


When we got to Kaduna, we met an elder and a former president of the association Prince Lanke Odogiyon. The Egbon welcomed as cheerfully
to his sizeable office and interacted meaningfully with us. But he expressed a view, which went unchallenged due only out of respect for the author.
According to the Prince-President, it was regrettable and dismaying that contestants for offices into the Executive Committee of the N.B.A had to cover huge distances on campaign trails.


Said Odogiyon '"when a lady, a contestant from one of the Eastern states phoned me that she would be coming to Kaduna to campaign to us, I was shocked. Come to Kaduna for what? I told her not to come.
It is too dangerous, too stressful and too expensive to be travelling up and down the country because of votes. In my time as president we banned this moving up and down but I don't know why Akeredolu is allowing it. May be we are not serious about this thing, because there has been no case of fatal accidents attending our campaigns."


With due respect to the Prince of the Niger, I see no merit at all in his position. When did going on the hustings by candidates seeking elective posts become a crime?


I have always thought that Law and Politics are soul-mates and that lawyers are best suited to understand political philosophy and practice than any other class of people.


One of the key ingredients of Democracy as a political system is election based on the equality of voting franchise of "one man, one vote." Even an ass knows this.
Two, the votes, specifically the majority of votes determine who gets the office.
Three, the votes we talk about never take up residence with the candidate, but with the electorate.


As the matters stand it is clear that the candidate in the democratic set-up must need go the 'house of votes' and interact with the occupants (electorate) in the hope that they will yield the votes with them to him.


The blunt truth is that the candidate who wants to win election in a democracy and sees no good reason to meet the electorate is any one of these four things - unserious, mad, anti-democrat or an election rigger.


Now, friends, citizens, fellow countrymen, where is the electorate of the NBA? They are, I trust you know, in the 88 branches of the NBA, scattered all over the surface of the Nigerian Earth.


It is from these 88 branches that you have the delegates who will vote on election day. It is very simple then. Candidates have no choice than to go to these branches to gain their support.


As to the first charge that campaigning nationwide is too expensive, I say being expensive is normal in democracy. Indigent contestants, who have lean financial muscles, have no business in the fray.
The incidences of winning the electorate to the candidate's side to wit, printing manifestoes, printing and posting hand-bills and posters, provisions of transportation, accommodation, security, feeding and sundry incidentals for the campaign train necessarily costs money. So a candidate who does not have funds and cannot raise funds should limit his political ambition within the boundaries of his sitting room.


The second charge that it is too dangerous for candidates to embark on nation-wide tours and campaigns also cannot stick.


So far in the annals of the history of the N.B.A no candidate or his campaign team mates has ever died or been involved in ghastly accidents. And even if this happens, it is nothing strange or unusual, vehicular accidents are one of the sad realities of life. And to those shouting "what of armed robbers and kidnappers?" my answer is "The Lord is my Shepherd" The threats of such are not enough to defer serious candidates from campaigning. By the way must a person be on a campaign tour before he suffers kidnap or robbery or any other evil?


The charge of stress is to me laughable. A democracy that is not stressful, you can be sure is not a living democracy.


Democracy has been famously defined as "Government of the people by the people and for the people.


If you have a weak or weakened bio system, why participate in politics? You must have strength for endless meetings, consultations, visits ' and receptions. Oh yes, democracy is stressful, but you only feel the stress too badly when you do not have the passion and the strength for the game.


When you are a committed democrat you won't call getting out to meet the
electorate you will eventually serve, if elected, stressful. If merely reaching out to the electorate my dear lazy bone candidate is stressful, what will you call serving them?


For me and my team, our campaign to the North to the West, Mid-West and the East was more fun than pain.


Everyday of the campaign was an education, in geography, history, culture, agro-economy, tourism etc.
There were so many beautiful and memorable encounters in our interactions with colleagues in the various branches.


In Akwanga we paid a courtesy visit to the Judge of the High Court. He turned out to be one of principled judges who gave the historic judgement in the case of Mimiko vs Agagu, ensuring peace and progress instead of chaos and frustration in Ondo state.


In Damaturu, I saw the largest collection of tractors ever, may be numbering more than 400. Yet they were just the remainder of the lot given out to farmers in the state.


In Gusau, I had certainly the best fura de nono of my life. This wonderful
quality was only rivalled by the dambu nono and fura de nono of Gombe town. It was in Gombe that I was introduced to dambu nono.


The Gombe nono is so good that the next NEC meeting should hold there and the next in Gusau. In Birinin Kebbi, we learnt that not all that glitters is
gold. The impressive looking hotel we stayed the night, rejoiced in the name "ZINARI" which means gold in Hausa language.


My resolve that I would name my first daughter ever, Zinari, dissolved in the middle of the night when PHCN struck as usual and wicked mosquitoes took over, feasting greedily on us. All through the ordeal the only person who appeared at peace under the bombardment happened to be the only northerner amongst us, inspiring some of us to think that there was perhaps, tribalism even among mosquitoes!


Between Jalingo and Maiduguri, we saw something that almost disproved the biblical parable of the seed sown in a rocky place. Unlike the Biblical seed which germinated poorly, the ones we saw in Biu and its environs sprang lustily up to the sky even though their roots lay below and amidst crags. We are talking of places where the furrows of the ridges are rows
and rows of stones.


And what stones! So heavy were they given their relative sizes that we suspected they contained iron ore. Impressed, I took two samples home, only for my wife to exclaim upon my arrival "after all these days in the North, it is only stone you bring comot!”


On the way to Gombe, I saw for first time a shepherdess driving a herd of cows numbering about thirty.
Another proof that what a man can do a woman can copy! It was also on this journey that I saw for the first time a herd or is it a pack of donkeys about forty strong. Before then I had thought that donkeys were unsociable loners.


From Awka to Onitsha to Agbor to Ugehlli, our reception involved the presentation, 'wedjing' and breaking of kolanuts. Not to talk of wine gifts. Oh, what wonderful hosts our colleagues were.


Face to face, goes the ancient adage, is better than a thousand letters. I agree. By visiting our colleagues in their various bases, we learnt first hand of their challenges, aspirations and requests. Only a few of our hosts appreciated SMS politicians.
Boy, I can't wait for the 2012 political season come. To democrats willing to pay the price, campaigning all over the country is another name for in-
land vacation!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

'OZEKHOME VS ARIBISALA REVISTED' By Adesina Ogunlana

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Some people called it, the “Rumble In The Temple”, some others dubbed it “Loud in Lagos”, while others named it “Katakata In The Bar”.
With utmost respect I refer to the bolekaja or was it roforofo fight, between two law sheikhs, Anthony Ajibola Aribisala a.k.a “Imado” and Mike Ozekhome a.k.a. “Baby SAN” in Honourable Justice Kazeem Alogba’s court at the Lagos High Court a few weeks ago.
In the celebrated mess, certain very printable epithets and phrases, like “Gorilla” “Mad man” “Baby SAN” “Shut up” “Mad-man” “big buffon” and “frustrated idiot” were flung by the fighters with quite an impressive rapidity and touching accuracy at each other.
According to some reports, it was a show of shame. Well that may be true but as far as I am concerned, it was a reality show.
A reality of the perilous and ignoble rot of our existence as a people. Let’s look at some certain similarities between the combatants. At least they share eight.


1. They are both male Nigerians.
2. They are barristers by profession
3. They are ‘senior barristers’ by virtue of their silkhood
4. They are “old men” being well over 50 years of age.
5. They are both (presumably) parents
6. They are employers of labour
7. They are both well off.
8. Both, at least going by their first names, are Christians.


If this classification is right, then the ugly incident before Justice Alogba shows that in our dear country, all supposed indices or indicators of decency are merely ornamental. It is a country where gold, as a matter of routine, rusts for the simple reason that the gold for most times is actually ‘panda’ (glossy dross).
Secondly the incident shows that anybody can get away with the most odious of behavior and the basest of crimes, especially if the malefactor is, as we say, a “big man.”
In fact the reality is that, the bigger fish you are in our fouled up waters, the more irresponsible you are, as nobody seems to care. You simply become too big for reprimand and it is absurd to even think of sanctions and completely unthinkable to apply sanctions.
In saner climes, the honourable presiding judge would not take flight as Alogba J did in the wake of the madness in the inner bar. (Of course there won’t be any such inner bar barbarism in such places).
Rather he would liberally lay the stick on the broadsides of the errant silks, by way of immediate contempt proceedings. At the end of the day, the affected silks would be lucky if they get even cotton to robe with.
All that is unthinkable in our "obodo Nigeria." Both the Bench and the Bar, who have the authority of disciplinary intervention in such ugly fracas befitting motor park touts and street miscreants normally keep an indiscreet and irresponsible silence. The best reaction they care to give are mere preachments.
Of course the story will differ were the “fumblers in the Temple” small fries. The judge will not hesitate to slam them in the gallows and when out, they may find themselves answering to the Disciplinary Committee of the Body of Benchers for “conduct unbecoming.”
As matters stand now, we should all look forward to a return match between the IMADO and BABY SAN. You know, you don’t finish such business at a go. There must be an encore. So please be on the look out. Already the Squib in furtherance of legal education in Nigeria has commissioned home-video producers to put on cine the historic confrontation, indeed conflagration between the gladiator silks, Ozekhome and Aribisala in the court room of his lordship Alogba.
Once produced, the film to be entitled BABYSAN vs IMADO will be required teaching material at the Nigerian Law School in the Legal Practice Ethics course. That way we can all rest assured that the legal profession will continue to produce more Mike Tysons and guttersnipers to the glory of the legal profession in Nigeria. That’s progress, I guess.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

BAR ELDERS’ 'DEMONCRAZY' By Adesina Ogunlana

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One of the most foolish things a young lawyer can do in Nigeria is to give automatic respect to elders, elders of the Bar.
Of course everyone knows the elders of the bar. We see them every day-self important personages, some in their fifties, some in their down-turn sixties and many in their sorrowful seventies boasting of solomonic sagacity and methuselaic longevity.
We know them. They either schooled in “England” or were the earliest sets of students at the Nigerian Law School. Of course progressivism of any socio-political hue and nuances is far from them. Ignorant people call them conservatives. But I do not know what these elders are conserving, I mean what particular good values do they have or believe in for them to conserve?
These elders, at least so called, are only very good at dressing well, driving fine cars and maintaining “posh” chambers and speaking through their noses or coughing delicately to reflect their purported good breeding. These elders, however have nothing concrete in positive forms to contribute to the Bar.
They are worshippers and slaves of money and so are very much at home with corrupt practices in the Bar and are firm believers in promoting the interests of their clients above that of justice.
They are specialists in compromising judges and are ardent practitioners of the saying “The best law any lawyer can know is the judge.”
Always parochial, always selfish, these elders care only for themselves and their own. These are people who spend millions of naira on their children’s education and yell in pain when a loyal and diligent counsel in their chambers ask for more than thirty thousand a month as salary.
They exert their influence very readily and exclusively to make their children and relatives judges even when barely qualified and ill-equipped.
The corruption of their minds and the acute retrogression of their warped mentality also show in the way they opt to understand bar politics.
What manner of lawyers are these whose understanding of the spirit and letters of democracy exclude the necessity of plurality of choices?
But, this, is what the (their) elders of the Nigerian Bar have been preaching for about seven years now. They started their ignoble march by advocating for and misleading the NBA to the mediocre, unprogressive, tribe promoting, nation killing political philosophy of zoning.
According to these dinosaurs, zoning is the correct answer to the challenge of schisms arising out of separatist tendencies. But any progressive, objective bar activist knows that zoning is the pandering to tribal sentiments and interests and a rejection of a conscious and nation welding mechanism that abounds in open field contests.
As the wont of devils, when you give an inch, they take a mile. Little wonder that the (their) elders have graduated since 2007/2008 from zoning to “consensual candidate” politics, which is another name for “presentation of a singular, unopposed candidate for the presidential post in the NBA”.
In short, these elders are no longer satisfied with eliminating two thirds of the electoral space but even in the remaining one-third, they do not want election but selection!
In 2008, these elders (those in the west) had their way and only Rotimi Akeredolu SAN ‘vied’ unopposed for the presidency. His would be opponent, an obviously tame Tiger, Dele Adesina SAN, actually a zoner himself was intimidated from the race.
In 2010, these elders, (those in the north) want to repeat the 2008 murder of democracy in seeking that only Joseph Daodu (SAN) is presented for presidential election.
As far as I am concerned this is a blooming shame. How can lawyers run from electoral contests and candidate competition and claim that they want Democracy for Nigeria?
The greater shame however belongs to the youths, if they allow such a political bastardy and anomaly to happen again.
If elders who grew up in the dark ages and had spent most of their working lives in the environment of several decades of Jackboot autocracy of military rule lack the capacity to understand or appreciate the fullness of democracy, younger elements who have no such misfortune should not be like them.
History will not forgive us otherwise.

Friday, June 18, 2010

'Something Better Than Death' By Adesina Ogunlana

As a rule men care about the after-life, since the popular belief is that man never truly dies but merely transits.
It is this belief that is the bedrock of religious faiths, which daily seek to save Man from himself so that he qualifies for an agreeable, indeed pleasurable life in the hereafter and in consequence escape damnation which is said to be eternal and unforgiving.
Since men are pain haters and pleasure lovers, there is none who cares for the hellish side of the after-life. A popular name for a comfortable after-life is “Heaven” while the popular address of a painful after life is, do we need to say it?
While death is sure for everyone, neither heaven nor hell, is a sure consequence. This is what the scriptures, at least the one I am most familiar with, teaches.
Consider the case of Moses, the great liberator. This was a man who was full of mighty spiritual powers and deeds. There was a time he put a restraining order on the sun, the king of the sky in the valley of Aijalon and the fiery monarch complied. We are talking of a man who spoke and heard from God Almighty, not by GSM but korokoro. There was a time he ordered the Sheraton Hotel of Heaven to serve Manna to millions of people at one time. Oh, yes! “Power pass power!”
Yet for all these, the man Moses, landed in hell, well almost. According to the Bible, his entrance to Heaven was far from automatic or easy but via a special dispensation by the Almighty God. As it was recorded, Mr. Devil was poised to serve a due writ of attachment on Moses’ body upon his death since “he died in sin.”
Consider also the case of one of the thieves who shared the platform of crucifixion with the Holy Jesus, Jesus the Christ a.k.a Lamb of God. The thief in question was very much like his mate on the left hand of the Great Teacher – a real son of the devil if ever there was one. Yet this murderer, rapist, pillager etc, whose terrible and evil life was on its last legs, ended up right in the family house of the Redeemer.
Now this is incredible, impossible really and how did it happen? Well go and read your Bible particularly the gospels. Praise the Lord somebody!
Now political election is better than death. In death, you will only know your true worth and estate, when it is too late. Whether you are really in the Book of Life or not, can only be known after you have died. And then what can you do about it?
But in election, before your own very eyes, your acceptance or rejection, by the sovereign lords of the poll, the electorate will be known.
If you think yourself popular and imagine yourself already elected or as good as so, all these are soon put to test and rest, when the votes are counted.
This is the Electoral Throne Judgement which often apes the Last Judgement. For as in heaven, so here on earth; many are called but few are chosen.
If you doubt me, ask the winners and losers of the 2010 general elections of the Tiger Bar.



SQUIB COVER STORY
"6-PONDO:" TEAM OMOLE WINS, OPPONENTS WEEP

Since 2004 when the power caucus of the Progressive Bar Forum (PBF) of the Ikeja branch of the Nigerian Bar Association came fully to its own, it has dominated the politics of the Tiger like a colossus.

In 2004 in its largest and most unified form, it scored a 100% victory at the polls, winning all available positions without partnership or alliance and produced Adekunle Ojo as the chairman of the branch at the expense of Hya Osahon Ihenyen who could only garner 10% of the total votes cast.
In 2006, the PBF, still intact, went to the polls and again captured all seats. The prime victim of their might then was Dele Oloke, who with less than 25% of the valid votes cast, lost woefully to the PBF candidate, Niyi Idowu.
Interestingly the loser was a former member of the PBF but who left the group, feeling frustrated after failing to secure approval in the ‘primaries’ of the group.
In 2008, the power caucus regrettably split into three unequal parts. The smallest part belonged to Niyi Akinmola then 2nd Vice-Chairman of the Ikeja Branch and a senior rank caucus member, who suffused with his own sense of self-importance and popularity, refused all appeasement not to leave the group. He was determined to contest the election for chairman at all cost contrary to the placement tradition of the P.B.F which favoured Dave Ajetomobi then the 1st Vice-Chairman to Niyi Idowu.
The second splinter group belonged to Niyi Idowu and Beckley Abioye. That group wanted Abioye the then General Secretary to run for chairman.
If Niyi Akinmola was unappeasable, the duo of Niyi Idowu and Abioye were simply unapproachable. So great was their animosity for their former group and confidence in their own strength to prevail against the PBF. It was Niyi Idowu’s sneer then that he would only consider reconciliation talks after the election had been determined!
At the end of the day the dreams of both splinter groups came to nought. Niyi Akinmola met his waterloo even before the election as he, just like Dele Oloke was disqualified from the race. As for Abioye his chairmanship ambition went up in smoke on June 30 2008 when Dave Ajetomobi came out tops with 60% of the total votes cast.

In 2010, the build-up to the elections of June 7 was strong and tense. Niyi Akinmola, still rebellious, still unrepentant and even headier, built a crop of members round himself. The group was a mixture of former satellites of his former power caucus - Leye Omitola and Terry Adeniji and and a stranger element Emmanuel Otobo, a completely unsubstantial bar player but then the Akinmola group presented him for the post of General Secretary. The three Akinmola followers were all members of the now defunct Dave Ajetomobi administration where they played opposition politics with differing degrees of intensity and finesse.
For example where Terry Adeniji and Emmanuel Otobo were coarse, confrontational and openly subversive, Omitola used the sly and silent style in aiding the interest of his group. He worked very actively in misusing his office of Financial Secretary to disenfranchise scores of supporters of the Mainstream group whom he wrongly labeled ineligible to vote.
Omitola gunned for the post of Treasurer while Adeniji aspired to become the 1st Vice-Chairman. For the other splinter-group owned and controlled by Niyi idowu and un-ably supported by Beckley Abioye, their curious choice for the chairmanship post was Dele Oloke. Choosing Oloke as their top flag bearer reflected poor thinking and a sense of huge desperation.
To any informed observer of Tiger land politics, Oloke serial polls loser, that he is, could only be the chairmanship choice of any self-defeating group.
To worsen the situation, the Niyi Idowu group fielded another political dwarf for the crucial post of General Secretary in the person of Mrs. Titi Osagie. Osagie had vied for the same post in 2008 and lost by 63 votes to Isa Buhari even with all the powers of incumbency in the favour of her political sponsors Niyi Idowu and Beckley Abioye.
The three other candidates sponsored by the Niyi Idowu group, just like Osagie, were minnows. Biyi Oguntuga presented for 1st Vice-Chairman, blends with anonymity, Abdulhamid Ahmed is equally undistinguished while Maimuna Esegime, for Financial Secretary is a green horn in Tiger land politics.

Interestingly the fact that their candidates were second rate was lost to the directors of “Team Oloke.” Three days to the election, Beckley Abioye, the deputy leader of the group boasted of the invincibility of his group in 2010 and that he himself lost the battle for the top job of chairman in 2008 only because the mainstream used mercenary voters against him.
Then in the morning of June 7, the most amiable of the group, Biyi Oguntuga, in a quiet but confident voice assured this reporter “Squib we will surprise you.”
This prediction proved wrong and empty as the mainstream group walloped their rivals blue and black to claim all grounds.
In the Welfare Secretary position Abdullateef Abdulsalam crushed Team Oloke’s Abdulhameed Ahmed 209 to 180, taking about 66% of the 489 votes cast.
In the Financial Secretary position Maimuna Esegime (Team Oloke) succumbed to Adesina Adegbite (a mainstreamer) 219 to 287 votes, garnering only about 42% of the votes.
The third election result announced was that of Treasurer. This was supposed to be a tough battle between Leye Omitola (Mr. disenfrachiser of the Niyi Akinmola group) Carol Ibeh of the mainstream group. Again, the mainstreamers prevailed as Ibeh gained over Omitola, 288 to 208, scoring 58% of the 489 valid votes cast.
Then came the result for the post of General Secretary. It was a three way struggle amongst Adesina Ogunlana (mainstream) Titi Osagie (Team Oloke) and Emmanuel Otobo (Team Akinmola).
Well, since a rat’s nest conforms to its proportion, Emmanuel Otobo the rat in the group deservedly scored the lowest votes of 87 or 16% of the total votes of 515 cast.
Titi Osagie, the “David” who was expected by her minders to kill a Goliath in the person of Adesina Ogunlana, found out too late the truism in Wasiu Alabi’s (Pasuma wonder) Fuji lyrics which went thus :
“emi yin o gbe,
capacity yin o gbe,
confido yin o gbe,
charisma yin o gbe,
engine aeroplane yen te gbe sinu beetle (VW) yen.”
In the middle of the counting of the votes, the lady saw the bold handwriting on the wall truncating her vaunting ambition and betrayed the woman in her. She was led away into the night, sobbing bitterly, as the scorpion of defeat stung her deeply. What made her case poignant was that her vanquisher, Adesina Ogunlana who won with a total of 266 votes (53%) to her 162 (31%) had weeks earlier sent a message to her camp that she should be withdrawn to a lesser post where she would meet no behemoth and therefore survive. The advice, sent through Dele Oloke was scorned.
For the post of 1st Vice-Chairman. Team Akinmola’s candidate, Terry Adeniji, the exponent and leading apostle of “Tenubole politics” (politics of disinformation and rumour mongering) put up a stiff fight, but at the end fell at the feet of his mainstream opponent, Yinka Farounbi who scored 237 votes (47%) to Adeniji’s 209 (41%). The spectator contestant, Biyi Oguntuga of Team Oloke got only 64 votes (12%).
By the time it came to counting and sorting the votes of the contestants in the chairmanship position (at 9.30pm), it was only Leye Omitola of all the “opposition candidates” that could afford to remain on the election ground. Thus it was his unenviable task to relay the sad news of repeated failures of his friends.
A total of 512 votes were cast in the chairmanship race. As earlier predicted by this magazine (vol 10, No 27), Dele Oloke with his 118 votes (23%) rested at the bottom of the class. Perched a little way above him, was Niyi Akinmola with his 174 votes (35%). Akinmola, when he saw the way the trend was going was heard repeatedly muttering to himself:
“Ha eniyan, aiye le!”
(Alas! How treacherous man is!).
Akinmola’s palpable agony was understandable. He was the longest campaigning candidate, having put no less than three years into it, only to be bested by Adebamigbe Omole whose candidacy was not more than six months old. Akinmola forgot perhaps that Wasiu Alabi has noted:
Ogun odun oni,
ogbon odun oni,
t’aja ti nsare ije,
irin faaji ni fesin.
Gbogbo press up t’alangba n’se
Ko fi ni muscle lara
(all the grounds covered by the dog in twenty,
thirty years of intense racing are nothing
but a stroll for the horse,
the agama lizard’s numerous press ups are in vain
they give him no muscular biceps).
Adebamigbe Omole, calmly took victory by getting 220 votes (42%) of the total valid votes cast.
Of the three candidates who came in unopposed, Gloria Nweze(2nd Vice-Chairman), Seyi Olawumi (Social Secretary) and Samson Omodara (Publicity Secretary) only the last is not a mainstream candidate.
Insiders know that Omodara a member of the Team Oloke was spared the agony of contest and eventual defeat due to a silent deal brokered on his behalf by a friend of his, with the political lords of Tiger land. Omodara’s calm disposition and good comportment helped matters a great deal in this regard.
Insiders also know that the battle for the soul of the Ikeja Bar appeared to take spiritual dimension. About a week to the elections, a pillar of the mainstream group Dave Ajetomobi, the outgoing chairman of the branch got stung in his own bedroom. How the scorpion got there was baffling. The unfortunate scorpion however received the capital punishment for his transgression.
Three days to the election, the trio of Dare Akande, Isa Buhari and Adesina Ogunlana were involved in a ghastly motor accident. On their way to Abuja from Kano, a big cow on the outskirts of Kaduna suddenly ran smack into their vehicle, then moving at about 100km at the time. The cow died on impact and the car was badly damaged but the Tigers disembarked unhurt.
Remarkably on the day of the election, there was no rain at all that could have disrupted voting and the electricity supply endured to the very end.

Reflecting on all these seemingly disjointed incidents, the new chairman of the branch, Adebamigbe Omole told his colleagues “I am not worried by those things. Remember we fasted and prayed over this election. The Lord will continue to protect us, no matter the evil machinations (if any) of anybody.”

'Great Shock' By Adesina Ogunlana

I have just finished perusing the list of the short-list of candidates for the position of judges in Lagos and I almost died of shock.
And now that it is saying a lot. For, though I shock other people easily, I shock hard.
So why my shock? Could it because the list is rather serpentine, a whopping 28 names? No that was not. In fact 28 names is, come to think of it, embarrassingly short. A list of say 120 or even 200 names would have been more like it- to take care of all possible interests.
For example there is the Babalaje interest. Same for Iyaloja interest. Then there is the traditional rulers’ interest. Not to forget the Religious dealers (sorry leaders) interest. Then there is the political party (read A.C, bifurcated into Tinubu and Mr. Fash’s sub groups).
At the end of the day, eve if it is only four good ones that are appointed from the list, the authorities can easily look the rejects in the face and say “After all you made the short-list. Better luck next time.”
Was my shock due to seeing Mrs. Harrison’s name on that list again? You know Harrison now? The pious Christian lady lawyer who sold her client’s house without due authority, pocketed the proceeds and had to be dragged before the EFCC?That’s not enough to shock me I assure. Nigeria is a funny country where you gain promotion by doing bad things and receive elevation when you’ve been caught, this, especially when you are a “big boy or a big babe”.
Could my shock possible be because Mr. Christopher Balogun a former frontline player and a good able and very well mannered lawyer is now one of the Fellows of the Lower Rungs?Oh shucks! Not that! Who dices not know that no condition is permanent and that the race especially in Nigeria) is hardly to the brilliant and dedicated or the battle to the useful and worthy.
Let me tell you the reason for my shock. It was seeing the name of magistrates on the blessed lists. Not just one or two magistrates but a massive eight!Before Lagos magistrates learned the art, science and technology of going on strike to ensure the existence of the God-sent Magistrate Court Law 2009 (which will solve all the many problems of the magistrates and cure the poverty of their cadre), I was for magistrates to be elevated to the high court bench, at least the intellectually capable and industrious ones among them.But no longer! During their strike(s) they insisted and sometimes violently and abusively so, that they wanted to make the magistracy their all-in-all career. They boasted of their contentment in their magistracy cadre as long as the Magic Law-Magistrates court Law 2009 is restored.Now that the law has been restored, what is their worships or is it honours doing on the list of would be judges?So magistrates also want to be judges-the creatures they spoke of so disparagingly just a few weeks ago?
Just look at life o!Is this not Mrs. Christiana Titilayo Adesola Ikpat on the list? Adesola Ikpatt, chairman of Magistrates Association of Nigeria, Lagos Branch. Ah, wonders shall never end!Et-tu Adesola Ikpatt! My dear and noble friend (Believe me I really like the lady and she is my friend, but the truth must be told) how come you are on the list? What of Chief Magistrate Olufemi Isaacs, Ayo Odugbesan, Adeyemi Okunuga, Iyabo Okunuga, Surutu (sorry, Sururat Soladoye, Ganiyu Ali Safari, Emmanuel Ogundare, Oyindamola Ogala, Adedayo Akintoye.
I think the least these good and noble magistrates should do is to formally withdraw from the hot race to become judges in Lagos State, especially those of them who just few weeks ago believed the best place to achieve their career dream is in the new, improved magistracy of the famous Magistrates Court Law 2009.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

'Judges, Styles and Choices' By Adesina Ogunlana

See Gani's Will by clicking, http://www.ganidelaw.blogspot.com

One man’s meat, says an English proverb, is another man’s poison. Now that’s very interesting and can easily be considered a huge exaggeration, if not an impossibility.

One may really wonder how, what is sweet nurture to one person can constitute an abhorrent danger to another human, considering that basically, both are of the same species.However if you were a lawyer who practices advocacy regularly and widely in the Lagos State High Court, you may find it quite easy to accept the truism of the aforementioned proverb of the long nosed Islanders.
Permit me to give a few examples.In Honourable Justice Mufutau Olokooba’s court, a man need not fear that he has his head covered. It does not matter that he has no title or status.But it is not so with Honourable Justice Kazeem Alogba of the same Lagos State High Court. Only traditional title holders can wear caps to his court room. Lesser mortals, maybe people like you and I, risk a charge of contempt, to go to the Alogba court with your cap firmly perched on your head.
Some three years ago, I witnessed the great annoyance of Alogba .J at the sight of a cap wearing man in his court.Now how do you address a high court judge? I have discovered that not all female high court judges like to be called milords.
An even more interesting discovery is that not all female high court judges approve of salutations referring to them as miladies.How I knew? When I first appeared before Mojisola Dada .J then of Ikeja High Court, I in all the innocency of my heart and perhaps under the influence of the spirit of the famous (1985) Beijing Conference addressed the “owner of the court” as “Milady.” Dada .J’s response was quick, curt and cold: “Milord” came the singular rebuke which even though quietly delivered, thundered its strong disapproval. About a year or so later, and infact only two weeks ago, I came to worship in a temple of justice at the Ikeja High Court, where the officiating minister was Honourable Justice Funmilayo Atilade.Feeling very comfortable indeed, I addressed the honourable judge as milord. With “milord” I was sure I could not go wrong. After all, was this not the teachilng and training we received at the smithy of our legal education – the unforgettable Nigerian Law School?Surprise, surprise however, for there came the correction from the bench. It was also curt like Dada .J’s, but cool and caressing: “Milady,” indicating that the judge wanted to be known, addressed and referred to in the feminity of the status of her judicial suzerainty.Unfortunately I could not quickly andfully take to correction. So one minute you heard me milording milady and in the very next, miladying milord!It must have been very exasperating for the poor judge suffering minute by minute sex-change from the mouth of an ass of a lawyer who kept going and breezily so, talala tololoing and then tololo talalaing!When my cup was full, the long suffering judge, paused ever so briefly in her work to address me, she mellifluously uttered this legend, “You can call me anything, in fact you can even call me Funmilayo.” The whole court burst into laughter. It was understandable. Imagine a lawyer addressing a sitting judge by his or her first name. Just imagine! Great advocacy?
To escape future embarrassment, I have decided to keep a notebook where the peculiarities, sorry uniqueness of our various judges would be recorded and carry same with me all the time. I will be studying this special notebook diligently.Of course if I am to appear before a judge who requires one to enter his or her court on one’s head, one would know ahead and conform. And if it is before another judge where you can only enter back front like a cultist, one proceeds accordingly.
After all, when you are in Rome, you roam like Romans!

Friday, June 4, 2010

'Bad Seniors' By Adesina Ogunlana

I will be very surprised to meet a Nigerian who does not have a clear notion of juniority and seniority. After all one had hardly graduated from toddlership to boyhood when snorts and retorts of “who is your mate?” reached one’s ears.
So it does not take long to know there are only three classes of people in the world. Those who are greater (seniors) to one, those lower (juniors) and those equal (peers).
One very common determiner of seniority is time. The earlier in time, say to be born, to bag a degree or title or reach a position is often the senior. As the Yoruba say “Eni a ba laba ni baba” (the first settler is the overlord).
In the legal profession, seniority and juniority are not only legitimate distinctions of class, but also an honourable one for that matter. Normally no one, except mischievous yokels, flaunt their juniority. What is put proudly on display is the seniority, because seniority confers advantages.
To be senior is to be greater and to be greater, is to be seen as better or worthier. Of course where there is contest, juniority invariably surrenders to seniority.
However note it all, there are seniors and there are seniors.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

'The Bench Insensitive' By Adesina Ogunlana

'Gagging A President' By Adesina Ogunlana

The other day, Rotimi Akeredolu S.A.N, president of the NBA wanted to speak. In a public gathering. Gathering of lawyers. Lawyers young and old. Old enough to understand simple English. English grammar which we have been told is not the African’s mother-tongue.
Now the tongue is a small but mighty member. A member that can cause commotion. Especially when it had a punch to land or a sting to deliver.
Now nobody likes to be visited by pain. As we all know we run away from pain and pleasure. My wonder then, that lawyers were and are still aghast that the number judge in Nigeria, stopped the number one lawyer in Nigeria from uttering a word at the conferment ceremony of the new sets of alleged senior advocates of Nigeria.
A man may not mind private discomfiture even ridicule but will well mind a public disgrace. Since the morning shows the day, it was clear,from Rotimi Akeredolu’s antecedents that he would not miss the opportunity of the conferment ceremony to wax his tongue eloquently if given an opportunity to talk.
The eloquence is not the issue, but its predictable sting.
So what to do? The Chief Justice of Nigeria knew what had to be done. Which was, the issuance of a gag order against Akeredolu. The order went thus:
“Mr. Man you can see, smile or even scowl but you must not say anything here.”
That was a smart move, that caught the bearded Aketi napping.
However I wonder at Mr. NBA president’s reaction to this reasonable and proper order. He got hot under the collar and threatened to stage a walkout if he would not be allowed to have a say.
I am still at sea, where a guest gets the courage to challenge his host. Since it is afree world where the Bar is a self deluded and self acclaimed partner with the Bench but in reality, is a toss-bag and spit bowl of the judiciary. Akeredolu should have known better than issuing ultimatum to the master class?
I was even more amazed to learn that other lawyers started to plead with Akeredolu not to stage a walk-out. Why beg Akeredolu to stay? Is anybody now indispensable?

'A Query for Pastor Dele Adesina SAN' By Adesina Ogunlana

LEARNED SQUIB – A QUERY FOR PASTOR DELE ADESINA S.A.N
Life can be full of surprises. Pleasant or unpleasant. Last week Friday the 16th april 2010 to be precise, I walked into a surprise or better still, I sailed into a rude shock, without the least premonition thereof.
With a few other Tigers, I had come to the Lagos City Hall that late bright Friday morning. Our intention was to witness the launching of the book, “FORCE OF JUSTICE” in honour of recently retired Justice of the Supreme Court George Oguntade.
The crowd at such events is predictable: judges, magistrates, lawyers, journalists, politicians, politicians masquerading as rights’ activists turned politicians, a few businessmen (hardly women) and (law) students.
I was not expecting to see or meet any unmilitary personnel at the event. However in the corridor of the hall, I heard a soft voice from inside, making an address, with an unmistakable northern (Hausa/Fulani) accent.
“The speaker must be a Northerner,” said I. my observation was right. The speaker indeed was a Northerner.
But what a Northerner – Ibrahim Badamosi Babaginda! Yes the very same guy of the coup plotting fame, coup plotter’s execution reputation.
‘settlement’ culture promotion. IMF loans and ‘conditionalities,’ Press emasculation and harassment strategist, Dele Giwa’s murder scandal, artificial parties creation, unending political transition programme, Gulf war, missing oil fund, June 12 1993 General Election Annulment
Interim Government contraption and so on and so forth.
I was aghast. What was this troubler of Nigeria doing here? The ignoble Maradona was a Babangida in Babanriga, not military fatigues but a Babangida, nonetheless.
What was Mr. “we are not only in office but in power” doing addressing jurists and counsel like and sounding pious?
Only a few days before then, the step-aside General had told the world he would be seeking election to become the next president of the country. Is the Dele Adesina event the beginning of the re-packaging of the Evil Genius?
It is my view that the last of any professional class to support or give assistance of any kind to a political monster like Babangida should be legal practitioners.
This is because, in his days as an active and direct player in the corridors of power (at least 1976 – 1993) he and his type ensured that Democracy, the promotion of the rule of law, Liberty and the Civil Rights of the Citizenry, Responsive Government and Economic salvation of the Masses of our people never thrived in Nigeria.
Mr. Dele Adesina, should reflect seriously on what I want to say next. He Adesina, is now a prosperous lawyer, but when did the prosperity and respectability begin? And for that matter, ,when did the success of many of his age-mates at the Bar begin?
Was it in the terrible, locust years when Babangida and his ilk held sway over the nation? Or was it when military rule was chased away from Nigeria and Civil Rule and democracy found berth?
Dear ‘Cousin,’ why was it necessary for you to bring an “Evil Genius” to grace an occasion meant ostensibly to honour a retired judge of the Supreme Court?
Or maybe I am actually misjudging you – c ould it be that it is a case of birds of a feather flocking together? A clue may be in the very title of your book, “FORCE OF JUSTICE.”Did the ironic jurisprudential contradiction inherent in the title strike you at all?
Those who promoted Obasanjo to power again in 1999,believing that a military autocrat had transformed over the year into a genuine democrat, now know better. Is Babangida a different kettle of fish from Baba Iyabo?

In Memoriam: Abija [May 31 2000 - March 20 2010] By Adesina Ogunlana

Aguntasolo a figbogbo e file bora.
Akin o si ku
Ewa o si parun”
Late Saka Olayigbade foremost sakara musician.
The tall dandy will surrender his full length and make the earth his covercloth
The valiant will die and beauty perish
Death or even its mere thought brings out the philosopher in men. John Keats wrote his famous “Ode to a Nightingale” in the grip of the depressive thought of imminent death.
Also the eternal ‘Elegy written in a country Church Yard” by, oh God help me,I’ve forgotten his name, was inspired by the sight of an expanse of sod-land.
It is a strange death which brings relief to the living and absolutely abnormal one which fills the heart of the observers with joy and glee.
The normal effect death has on us is of grief, embarrasment, bitterness, hopelessness and even helplessness. Often death does not act the gentleman but is rude, rough and ruthless.
Last Saturday a member of my family died, a valued member, the type whose absence never merits the derisive ditty of:
E je o lo, nigba ti o lo kilose?
Alakori lo, ko la bewo,
E je o lo, nigba ti o lo kilo se?
Which in simple language translates , “Good riddance to bad rubbish.”
I was in the service of ‘Lady Squib,’ my permanent weekend love, on Saturday 20th march 2010, when the news came that the grim reaper was at the threshold of my house. The doctor had been sent for but even that worthy was convinced that this cup would not pass.
I felt concerned enough about this grave development to intimate my extremely jealous ‘weekend consort’ for permission to visit home. The kindhearted and gracious ‘inamorata’ instantly granted my prayers and sent me forth with the cry “Run, Gecko, Run!
And run I did. On four wheels. I soon got home but the enemies had done their worst.
There she lay on her side, like a sheep which had suffered slaughter, eyes half closed, mouth partially open, supine but peaceful, a far cry however from her usual sleeping posture of a luxurious sprawl on her back, head aside in a decided I-feel-alright angle.
Even before I got very close, the vet, now turned undertaker had grimly informed me that “she has breathed her last.”
Curiously, I felt far from sad. I suspect I had anaesthesised my feelings. In fact I felt rather breezy.
I quickly dashed inside the house to ask after madam – the girl who bravely cared to marry me. My delicate flower was weeping her eyes out. It was a most touching sight because she never cared for a dog in the house in the first instance.
But here she was ten years later, since Abijawarabiekun (intrepid fighter much like a Tiger) came into our lives on May 31, 2000 when she was born on the very balcony where she gave up the ghost, crying seriously over Abija.
Abija was a frisky, fierce, yet friendly dog. She was a guard, sentinel, pet, friend and eventually, family. Very well behaved generally, except for occasional lapses. But then, who is perfect?
The whole household and neighbours would miss her. And, are already missing her.
Now my dear friends, a question: should you die today, will people remember you?
Another question: if they do, will it be for good?

'Etiquette for Lawyers' By Adesina Ogunlana

When a person is called to the Nigerian Bar as a Solicitor and advocate of the Supreme Court of Nigeria, behold, old things are passed away.
He becomes not only a gentleman but a learned gentleman. Maybe you never know: a gentleman is a gentleman but a learned gentleman is and must be a legal practitioner, only.
Now if somebody is a learned gentleman, it is by his manners – you’ll know him; manners such as
1. DRESSING PROPERLY AND NEATLY TO COURT. In courts where judicial officers preside, you will see the proper learned gentleman in black and white colours.
2. NEVER SHOUTING IN COURT. This is because shouting is often an exhibition of rage and excited emotional state. Gentlemen, particularly learned gentlemen, in the office of counsel are never to be mistaken for annoyed primates in the jungle.
3. NEVER RUNNING DOWN A COURT BEFORE THE PRESS, AFTER LOSING A CASE. A gentleman is never a bad loser. When decisions of court go against a lawyer’s expectations, he does not therefore embark on a press attack on the presiding judge.
The best policy is not to grant press interview at all. The next best policy is to speak tersely to the press and indicate that the opportunity of appeal will be exploited to test the validity of the judgement of the trial court. Abusing a judge or ridiculing his judgment in the market place, at any rate, does not change it one bit.
4. NOT ENCOURAGING OR INSTIGATING SELF HELP. Sometimes it appears that the law and due process are taking too long a time to arrive at the Justice destination. So people find it convenient, expedient to resort to self help. A lawyer however should not succumb to such inclinations. Self help often results in disorder. An instance of self help is proof of loss of confidence in the ability of constituted authority to do justice.
5. NOT DECEIVING PEOPLE. There are people you cannot entrust with anything, not even their own shadows! Decent legal practitioners do not member among such slippery, unreliable lot. The type known and addressed as people deceiving people. Rather they keep their word with clients, colleagues and the courts. The bar is not a place for just anybody. So it is extremely odious to find a liar and untrustworthy person having a place in the bar.
A gentleman is a man of honour. The first law of honour, is, of course as you know, “Keep your word!”

'Egbon's Recondite Shoes' By Adesina Ogunlana

'Forgiving Malady' By Adesina Ogunlana

'The Coup of a Barman' By Adesina Ogunlana

There is an admonition in the Bible for the faithful to show hospitality, eagerly, to strangers, “for by so doing some have entertained angels unknowingly.”
Of course it is such a great thing to have an angel, or even a company of angels as one’s guests.
You should know that I am talking of the real Mcoy. And, not those type of sweet and pretty troubles whose chests are usually corrugated and whose angelity is only of shape, sound and smell.
Last week whilst on the way to Yola, Adamawa state for the first National Executive Committee meeting, some tigers, including my, well, shall we say humble self, had an opportunity to give practice to the Biblical injunction aforementioned.
We had passed Okene, a town in Kogi State which has an intermittent migraine of restiveness and on our way to Ankpa when it happened.
We slowed down and parked our now famous Tiger Train (the 28 seater coaster bus of the Ikeja Bar) by the kerb. A middle-aged Mercedes Benz soon overtook us and dislodged an equally middle-aged man dressed in wine coloured suit and shoes.
The fellow soon rushed over and wasted no time in presenting his case: he was an Okene based lawyer who would not mind riding with the Tigers if they were on their way to Yola for the NEC meeting of the Bar.
He was a complete stranger, laden with two pot bellied bags, fat enough to carry a blunderbuss. But not only were we brave Tigers, but also kindhearted too.
Thus unanimously and without a singular ado, we cheerfully admitted him into our mobile lair. Alas, little did we know that we had brought into our very bosom, a coup plotter!
Except for a few words of polite greetings and the occasional courtesies, the guest kept quiet the first three hundred kilometers of the journey.
However he watched and listened with doze-diluted interest as the Tigers sallied to and fro at one another. Glo, maliciously known as a “stingy treasurer” the only tigress amongst us, inspite of her minority status was not an unmatch for any one of the Tigers, constantly forming and breaking alliances, to survive, only losing out when there was an uneven gang-up against her, especially between Leader, whom she nicknamed Mango Head and ‘Oguns’ cognamed “Heart Breaker” and Faro, whom everybody later discovered had established a very popular and quality table water brand in all the main parties and appurtenances of the old North Central State. For, everywhere you turned in Yola, Jalingo, etc., the dominant table water prudent was “Faro” water.
The extremely long journey eventually ended eighteen eventful hours after it started in Akure, Ondo State, at 5.59 a.m on Wednesday 18th February 2010.
There in Yola, at the Meridian Hotels, the Tigers parted ways with their travel mate.
Two days later, a re-union happened as the angel by the road side successfully sought leave to do a return journey with the Tigers.
The journey back home was less tedious and more fun filled than the visit. A national officer who decided to go half the way with the Tigers could not hide his bemused bewilderment at the way the Tigers poked fun at everyone and everything. Iln all the points of the compass.
The coup plotter a gentle observant fellow, was also at home, throwing the occasional poke, particularly in the direction of ‘Oguns’ who was obsessed with getting “fura de nunu” to drink at all cost.
Several hours later, at Oturkpo, the party had to stop, to effect some repairs on the bus.
While waiting for the restoration and empowerment of the Tiger train to continue the journey without any pericaditis of the wheels, the coup plotter expressed but rather obliquely, his desire for the party to get down at Okene that very day.
After about an hour or so, the surgeons, and quite a tribe of them, declared the Tiger Train a fit and proper vehicle to ply the roads once again.
So the journey continued. Okene was attained at the godly hour of 10.40p.m.
The Tiger guest saw us off to our hotel and then stuck on. Even when offers were made to have our bus drop him at home, he declined the offer stating that he had sent for his car to come and pick him.
Some forty minutes later, his car came. The occupants therein were not limited to the man’s wife and son. The others were a big food flask heavy with steaming white rice, pots of meat logged stew, dodo, vegetables and crates of assorted drinks.
Brethren, it was a sight to behold, for verily I tell you, it was a repast of such quality and quantity that a sight of such could have inspired that psalm of David which stated inter alia:
“A table was set before me and my cups overflowed!”
None of the Tigers expected such a feast. The nobility of it all, for once quietened them, but only for a few seconds.
After snapping out of their shock, they belted out a song:
“For he is a jolly good fellow (3x)
And so sayh all of us Hurray!(2x)
So loudly and raucously did they sing that it was a surprise the walls of the Hill Top Hotel did not come tumbling down.
On account of this coup by Barrister Amaechi Obiechina, former chairman Okene branch, all Okene based counsel are in trouble any time they venture into the jurisdiction of the Ikeja Bar.
After all, one good coup – deserves another!