'Good morning Gentlemen' By Adesina Ogunlana

THE LEARNED SQUIB

In 1981, when I gained admission to Great Ife (if you don’t know what Great Ife means, you shouldn’t read any longer) to study the language of the ruler of the now extant empire where the sun never sets, I was a kid. Just 17. When I left four years later, still a kid I was.

But what a kid! One had had all manners of exposure and interactions at the best university, at least in that era, this side of the sea. The experience was wide ranging - from becoming a specialist in teasing girls (especially Moza girls - the famous motherless babes) to surviving on 0-0-1 or 1-0-1 rations, from watching I-Go-Do films, 20 kobo or 50 kobo or so to enjoying big entertainment groups like SHALAMAR, B.L.O etc.

In my time at Ife, almost everything (except few horrible toilets) was a thriller. Oduduwa Hall was a thriller. The Amphitheater was a thriller. Even Hezekiah Oluwasanmi Library was a thriller (what an array of wonderful books). The Cafeteria was a thriller. We could die for the fare. Believe me, a plate of ‘eba’ or ‘amala’ with three “kandu, kandu” pieces of meat, or an intimidating chest or hefty thigh of a chicken, plus orange squash or ice-cream all for 50 kobo.

The Sports Centre was a thriller. NUGA ’84 that held there was for me, unforgettable for two reasons - the Port-Harcourt contigent on the opening march past paraded the sweetest, ‘reddest’ pairs of female thighs, I have, up till date, ever seen and the host, Great Ife paraded in her soccer team a leggy wizard of a No. 10., Kayode ‘Zege’ Balogun in the soccer finals, who in the second half buried a wonderful A.B.U team with his fantastic dribbling runs. Zege is said to be the last child of the legendary Teslim “Thunder” Balogun.

The Students Union Building was another thriller, probably for me, one of the ‘thrilliest’ of all. This because it was the ‘Aso Rock’ of Students Union leaders and activists.

And boy was I interested in Students Unionism? What young idealistic, adventurous young boy wouldn’t be? Politics and politicking was fun and for us, the greatest place to be in the whole world was Students’ Union elections time at Great Ife.

The candidates were almost always exciting, even exotic. What of the electorate? Equally exacting and mischievous and capricious. What moved us was the posters, banners, the drumming, the trumpeting and above all, the “lai - wo - we igilarity” (fast flowing, off-hand bombastic orations).

It was 1982 or was it 1983, and there was going to be a debate among the presidential candidates. There were about four or five of them. Till that night, the leading candidate was George Oguntuase. If I am not mistaken. When the debate started, the first speaker could be said to be the last speaker. His name was Chris Fajemifo a.k.a “Fajee.”

Interestingly enough, ‘Fajee’ only uttered one line and that was it. The line sent waves of ecstacy, even sweet insanity among the crowd. Pandemonium of applause and cat calls broke out and that was it. On the strength of one line delivery, ‘Fajee’ rode on to the presidency of Great Ife! Fajee’s one liner was: “John Locke said and I quote.”

I have all this story of Honourable Justice Josephine Efunkunbi Oyefeso (Mrs.) of the Ikeja High Court. I love many things about the court of the honourable judge - the cool efficiency, the calm consideration and the obvious cogitation.

And there is still one other thing. Milady like Fajee has a fascinating one line delivery that is “breaking many lawyers’ neck’ ( Oun da won l’orun) so to speak.

When milady comes to court, just before taking her seat, the judge says so softly but clearly, “Good morning gentlemen.” Then, the business of the day starts. The first time I heard the one liner, I looked at the honourable judge. Then, I sighed - I could only sigh. Because I knew it was too late! Encumbrances, right, left and centre.

Well, thank you milady for being a real lady and treating the bar and everybody else, like human beings.