'The Post Graduate Approach' By Adesina Ogunlana

THE LEARNED SQUIB

Sometimes, going to school can be so much of a waste of time. Worse, a man can come to grief simply by relying too much on the purported education he received from college. I ask, “what is the value of an education that does not adequately prepare the pupil on how to effectively cope with the bare realities of the human existence?”

Any sensible person soon discovers that schooling is useful to the extent that it provides a paper (paali) at the end of the day for the pupil which is the mark, but alas, not the proof of actual knowledge and mastery. In fact it is only after leaving school that the real school starts.

When you are a young, fresh faced smart law undergraduate, concepts such as ‘offer’ and ‘acceptance’ are so easy to grasp. But when you become a lawyer you soon realize that the ‘offer’ that resides in the clean and untainted environment of the text books on the law of contract is of a different nationality from the offer of the actual market place.

Also in school, the lawyer is taught very simple and clear things like “motions, injunctions” and soon he becomes giddy with information. But once out of school and in front of judges, mere motions become mountains while injunctions become disjunctions.

So much for school knowledge. And I can tell you, I have not seen, heard or met any successful person who relied on knowledge grabbed within the four corners of the classroom to achieve success. Instead what successful persons do is to embrace 'Post Graduate' ways and means and profit by the assimilation of the wisdom therein.
By Post Graduate ways and means, I do not mean all those LLM, M.A, MSc stuff – such are same of same.

A good example of a post graduate study programme is what some people alleged happened recently in Osun State. According to the report, a lawyer defending a party in a sensitive case was in the stimulating habit of friendly telephone chit-chats with the chairman of the trial panel.

When the verdict of the trial court was delivered, it turned the head to the party represented by the counsel who had been verbally carousing with the chairman of the panel, while it showed the hoof to the party on the other side.

Trust the losers to complain. But honestly, they and their lawyers do not have my sympathy. Particularly the lawyers. I understand these lawyers (to the losers) have written a petition against the judges who heard their case. By their petition they could be heard moaning and whining that judgement went against their clients due to the clandestine bar bench romance between their opposing colleague and the chairman of the panel.

The losers are carrying on as if it was a strange thing that happened. While they (and foolishly too, I say) relied on text book methods and classroom knowledge in their bid to win the case for their clients, the other side relied on the unfailing Post Graduate approach which dictates that blessed is the man who makes the river flow past his farm, than the fellow who hopes that the river will be sensible enough not to forget to call in to say hello to his parched farm land.

It is only in the law school that you are taught to win your cases in court by adequate preparation, wide consultation and attractive presentation of arguments to the trial court. How naïve! If you have a serious case in court, a serious lawyer will need no telling on what to do. You don’t win over a judge to your side in the open court but in chambers, which is free of the odious, distracting and interrupting influence and presence of the other party.

In that exclusive market atmosphere, the lawyer’s advocacy is expressed Mammonically and not grammatically. The forensic ability is manifested in cash, raw cash or in cool, fat drafts. In some instances, the persuasive authorities cited to the honourable trader in judicial robes may be some mammary valleys and mountains as well as some Venusian crevices. With all these acts of tender love, kindness, comfort and even pleasure of the sweetest types to the judicial trader, you can be rest assured then that sweet victory is yours – after all, you’ve bought justice, and at a judicious rate for that matter, from the right source.

Of course, Justice can be bought. It is only Justice of the text-book that is not for sale.

That type of justice does not exist any where else and only foolish lawyers will cry foul when the better known type of justice obeys market forces. Little wonder that nobody is taking the complaining lawyers seriously; even the judges affected in the saga simply donned the 'ma wo be' cap and read the bloody sorry, naira soaked judgement.

In short, the point is this – Good lawyers only know the law while successful lawyers know the judge. And not only in obodo Nigeria, I tell you.

'Third World Justice' By Adesina Ogunlana

THE LEARNED SQUIB

I am a visitor from Mars and I didn't know my way about the cities of this truly wonderful planet, earth. I was told before coming that it was a planet with three worlds.

There is the first world, where everything or almost everything works. Light, water, telecommunications, transportation, technology, sports, economy, politics all work. The only thing I was told that does not work in the first world is religion and that is because the human beings of the first world are not interested in that spiritual enterprise, finding no particular need for it. Do you blame them? Who needs a marathon fast and 100 day prayer - induced medical healing when effective specialist hospitals abound?

And why would you heed Malachi 3:8 when your country takes good care of, you from cradle to grave? I was told that there is also a second world. Also a good world, I was told though, it is not so excellently organised like the wonder-world of the first type. The third world I was told is not a very pleasant place because things do not work and the society is backward, very backward indeed.

In the third world, the economy is wonky, meaning that poverty, insecurity and hardship are well known 'faces' in the society. The government is even wonkier, meaning that the more the government, the less the real governance. And what sustains the people is a special type of diet consisting in the main of, hope, prayers and self-help. However I was assured that a third world country is not all sorrow blood and tears. There are Oases of Pleasure, Islands of Enjoyment and Corners of Goodness, but they are far and few between and are not open to the wretched masses of this world due to their prohibitive cost.

My space ship's first port of call was a place called Lagos on the continent of Africa.

I immediately asked to be taken to the courts of Justice of the people of Lagos State. You see, when you want to know the character of a society, study the character of their justice and how they administer it.
Approaching the Lagos High Court Igbosere, I smiled broadly. I saw the gigantic edifice, the green lawns, the palms and the 'macadamised' streets. Everything looked solid and fresh.

Then I entered one of the court-rooms and I became instantly afraid. I thought I had mis-laid my steps into a tomb, so dark and eerie was the place. I noticed that some earthlings were in there, but I could barely make out their features for the dimness.

Of course no session was on. You can't do justice in darkness. I went out and entered into another round of darkness. I went into other courts, the darkness persisted. The second day I came to the court the darkness was still there. Sincerely the third, fourth, fifth and sixth day. Even up till today the darkness is still there in the beautiful looking Lagos State High Court and justice remains under arrest.

I now realised that Lagos, cannot be an example of a first world civilisation. Though Lagos has a BRF Governor running a BRT transport scheme, two universities, several polytechnics, etc, it is a third world country nonetheless. It is not even a second world existence. Yet I hear that the city, Lagos is touted the most sophisticated in Nigeria, which is touted the giant of Africa, which is touted the origin of human civilisation in the universe.

Do you know why I a Martian smile and laugh at the same time?

'Lies of Life' By Adesina Ogunlana

THE LEARNED SQUIB

Democracy has many problems and this is no surprise. At least to me. The system is too elaborate and depends on the goodness of the hearts of her main operators to succeed. Of course we all know the condition of our hearts. According to the Bible – the heart of man, is, mark the qualifier, 'desperately wicked.' Of course that heart becomes at least ten times more evil if they belong to politicians in third world countries. Please, why did your mind stray to Robert “The immortal” Mugabe?

However I think one of the biggest problems with democracy is because it is settled and founded on some irredeemable mendacity. Just consider one of the “big, big lie” of democracy – all men are equal. This lie is one of the tenets of democracy, hence in a polity, voters are ranked equally, once they are not infants, lunatics, convicts and aliens. Thus, each of them have a right to only one vote, regardless of their education, influence, wealth, status etc.

Consequently in political contests, leaders comes to office on the strength of their popularity above that of their opponents. And how do you judge popularity contests in a democracy? It is only through one means - the number of votes in favour of one candidate against the lesser number of those in favour of his opponent(s).

It will not matter then, if the majority consist of the ignorant, the misguided, society light-weights etc, so long as they are the majority. The choice of the majority no matter who the minority are, say egg-heads, business gurus, captains of industry, top-profile professionals, must prevail. The principle of equality of man is at work.

But are all men really equal? I don’t think so. Maybe they are in some other climes but certainly not in Nigeria. Certainly not in the Lagos State Judiciary. I come to this conclusion because of the late Lateef Osho Jogunomi. Jogunomi died about three weeks ago He was an auxiliary staff with the sheriff department of the Lagos State Judiciary.

One day he was coming back from work, when he met his death. His untimely death. In the licensed(?) hands of a power drunk Lagos State Transport Management Authority Staff. The LASTMA killer slew Jogunomi by violently pushing him to the ground. Jogunomi hit the back of his head on the concrete and the rest was his burial, and the grief and suffering of his suddenly dis-fathered family.

Since the man died, nothing much has been heard about his case. I guess the Judiciary merely cocked a brief puzzled look at the incident and continued on her way.
Now assume that Jogunomi, was a judge, or a Chief Judge, a registrar or a chief registrar, a magistrate or a chief magistrate, certainly the judiciary would do more than cast a look or shrug a shoulder.
There would will be hues and cries. The death of the dead great one will would be made to disturb the lives and concerns of the living. And it would not matter whether the fallen judge is a judicial Oyenusi, or the departed magistrate is a bench robber. All that would matter is that he was a top dog.
Are all men equal?