'The Post Graduate Approach' By Adesina Ogunlana

THE LEARNED SQUIB

Sometimes, going to school can be so much of a waste of time. Worse, a man can come to grief simply by relying too much on the purported education he received from college. I ask, “what is the value of an education that does not adequately prepare the pupil on how to effectively cope with the bare realities of the human existence?”

Any sensible person soon discovers that schooling is useful to the extent that it provides a paper (paali) at the end of the day for the pupil which is the mark, but alas, not the proof of actual knowledge and mastery. In fact it is only after leaving school that the real school starts.

When you are a young, fresh faced smart law undergraduate, concepts such as ‘offer’ and ‘acceptance’ are so easy to grasp. But when you become a lawyer you soon realize that the ‘offer’ that resides in the clean and untainted environment of the text books on the law of contract is of a different nationality from the offer of the actual market place.

Also in school, the lawyer is taught very simple and clear things like “motions, injunctions” and soon he becomes giddy with information. But once out of school and in front of judges, mere motions become mountains while injunctions become disjunctions.

So much for school knowledge. And I can tell you, I have not seen, heard or met any successful person who relied on knowledge grabbed within the four corners of the classroom to achieve success. Instead what successful persons do is to embrace 'Post Graduate' ways and means and profit by the assimilation of the wisdom therein.
By Post Graduate ways and means, I do not mean all those LLM, M.A, MSc stuff – such are same of same.

A good example of a post graduate study programme is what some people alleged happened recently in Osun State. According to the report, a lawyer defending a party in a sensitive case was in the stimulating habit of friendly telephone chit-chats with the chairman of the trial panel.

When the verdict of the trial court was delivered, it turned the head to the party represented by the counsel who had been verbally carousing with the chairman of the panel, while it showed the hoof to the party on the other side.

Trust the losers to complain. But honestly, they and their lawyers do not have my sympathy. Particularly the lawyers. I understand these lawyers (to the losers) have written a petition against the judges who heard their case. By their petition they could be heard moaning and whining that judgement went against their clients due to the clandestine bar bench romance between their opposing colleague and the chairman of the panel.

The losers are carrying on as if it was a strange thing that happened. While they (and foolishly too, I say) relied on text book methods and classroom knowledge in their bid to win the case for their clients, the other side relied on the unfailing Post Graduate approach which dictates that blessed is the man who makes the river flow past his farm, than the fellow who hopes that the river will be sensible enough not to forget to call in to say hello to his parched farm land.

It is only in the law school that you are taught to win your cases in court by adequate preparation, wide consultation and attractive presentation of arguments to the trial court. How naïve! If you have a serious case in court, a serious lawyer will need no telling on what to do. You don’t win over a judge to your side in the open court but in chambers, which is free of the odious, distracting and interrupting influence and presence of the other party.

In that exclusive market atmosphere, the lawyer’s advocacy is expressed Mammonically and not grammatically. The forensic ability is manifested in cash, raw cash or in cool, fat drafts. In some instances, the persuasive authorities cited to the honourable trader in judicial robes may be some mammary valleys and mountains as well as some Venusian crevices. With all these acts of tender love, kindness, comfort and even pleasure of the sweetest types to the judicial trader, you can be rest assured then that sweet victory is yours – after all, you’ve bought justice, and at a judicious rate for that matter, from the right source.

Of course, Justice can be bought. It is only Justice of the text-book that is not for sale.

That type of justice does not exist any where else and only foolish lawyers will cry foul when the better known type of justice obeys market forces. Little wonder that nobody is taking the complaining lawyers seriously; even the judges affected in the saga simply donned the 'ma wo be' cap and read the bloody sorry, naira soaked judgement.

In short, the point is this – Good lawyers only know the law while successful lawyers know the judge. And not only in obodo Nigeria, I tell you.