Are you fit? Yes you, you of course, are you fit? I mean you and nobody else -are you fit? My friend, why are you looking over your shoulders? There's nobody behind you, so the question is still for you and about you - are you fit? Am I referring to you? Why ask such an obvious question? My question is strictly, only, wholly and exclusively for you, so I ask again “are you fit?” and again-“are you fit?”
There you go again looking askance, as if I have put my words in a luggage of Greek and loaded them onto a train of Latin, wheeling on, on the rails of Aramaic. What is there too difficult to comprehend about my question?
Are you fit?
I forbid you to speak out the thoughts pulsating in your mind. Let me tell you what you wanted to ask me; the question you are dying to ask me is “are you fit yourself?”
You will know as I do, that your query is ad hominen and begs the question. Of course begging a question does not answer or remove it; so my question remains, Are you fit?
Oh, you are now prepared to give me an answer. Please tell the truth about your health, don't yaraduanise it -Tell it as it is really.
My pal did I hear you say, you are fit? Fit as fiddle? But, are you really fit? Why is your tummy and mid section a perfect copy of the shape of the AVOCADO pear?
Why do you always yawn so loudly and repeatedly as early as 9.00am in the morning, even after 8 hours night sleep?
Are you fit? Why do you suffer those sharp headaches and pains in your chest and feet? If you are fit, how come it takes you fifteen minutes to climb the stairs to the top of a three storey building and with your mouth agape? Say brother, are you fit? What about your waist that is almost in a perpetual state of disequilibrium?
And why are you always catching the flu? Your eyes tend towards the blood-shot and it is often a wrestle to get your (brown, sometimes, black) stuff out in the small room?
The other day, you attempted ten press-ups but when you got to just number three, you simply collapsed on your chest; Are you fit?
When last did you walk briskly or run a kilometer? So why say you are fit? It is now an ordeal for you to touch the ground with the tips of your fingers, even with bent knees?
How dare you say you are fit? How dare you? Even in indoor games? Are you as fit as you like to make people believe?
Can you do the marathon indoors? Are you not a flying whammer banger who gets beat less than three minutes after the commencement of intimate 'hostilities?'
And you Madam Fit, how come you are now a resident and stationary supervisor of the execution of house-hold chores? Sweeping, dusting, washing, cooking, e.t.c is not your look-out again, save dishing out intermittent orders to your kids and domestics alike? Are you sure you are fit?
Fit people burst with energy and are very active and no spirit of sloth can affix their bums to any immobile seat of inertia.
Are you fit? Let me ask again-are you fit? Yet you need to be fit. In fact you must be fit to carry out your serious tasks as a solicitor and barrister of the Supreme Court of Nigeria.
As you well know, getting good briefs is challenging, executing them, tasking and even getting your fees, tough. So, Mr. Lawyer and Madam Barrister, we need all the energy we can get. We can't afford to be weak, wasting and worsted by poor health, otherwise we won't discharge our responsibilities adequately.
By the way do you know that the NBA Ikeja branch has started a weekly Wellness and Keep Fit Programme, between 7.00am 10.00am every Saturday, save Environmental Sanitation days. The venue is the Vining Memorial Church Cathedral Playing Field.
Two days we were there. Three Saturdays ago, we were there also. It was big fun sweating it out. Won't you like to come too?
Don't tell me you are fit and there is therefore no need for you to participate. If you are indeed fit, the Tigers programme will only make you fitter. And if you are like, like, well don't let us mention his name, you need it more than ever.
Next Saturday (15th November 2008) is the next occasion for the special Tigers Programme.
Please try and be there!
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