Practically everybody knows how useful exercises are to the human body. Especially when the bodies in question have been immersed in sedentary living. Such bodies just soak in the easy life without giving much away or out. Little wonders such bodies tend to be stiff, disease prone and in some cases, ungainly.
Just like the mind, indolence kills the body, albeit slowly. Activity is the body’s best friend. To get the best out of the body, it needs to be tasked, stretched, pulled, twisted and generally moved about and for such a time to generate heat and sweat.
Now, only few people like to submit the body for exercise. In their minds’ eye exercise means “pain” Discomfort, Inconvenience’ even Embarrassment. Little wonder they find all manners of excuses and reasons to avoid exercise to the body.
Today I will list out some of the “cogent reasons” I have heard from people dodging participation in the weekly weekend sports programme of the Nigerian Association Ikeja. Here we go:
1. MY HOUSE IS TOO FAR
2. I DON’T HAVE A CAR
3. MY SATURDAY MORNINGS ARE SPECIAL
4. I HAVE A WEDDING TO ATTEND
5. I AM TOO OLD TO PARTICIPATE
6. I WILL TRAVEL ON SATURDAY
7. SATURDAY MORNINGS ARE TOO COLD TO GO OUT
8. IT WLL RAIN
9. THERE ARE LIONS IN THE STREET
10. I WILL GO TO MY CHAMBERS
11. MY WIFE WILL COMPLAIN
12. MY HUSHAND WILL NOT AGREE
13. V.I.Os WILL BE ON THE ROADS
14. WE ARE ONE A 250 DAY FAST IN OUR CHURCH
15. I DON’T HAVE ‘TRAINERS’
16. I HAVE TO ATTEND MY TAILOR’S GRANDFATHER BURIAL
17. NEXT SATURDAY IS MY BIRTHDAY
18. I’M NOT FEELING TOO WELL
19. MY IN-LAWS WILL BE VISITING
20. I WILL BE VISITING MY IN-LAWS
21. I’M TAKNG THE KIDS OUT
22. DOING EXERCISE CANNOT HELP MY FAT BODY (ITS ONLY GOD)
23. I AM TOO THIN
24. IS THE GOVERNOR COMING?
25. SATURDAY IS VAL'S DAY
Very cogent reasons!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
'Daddy Special' By Adesina Ogunlana
Some days ago, last week a well attended programme to mark the (post humous) 100th birth-day of Obafemi Awolowo S.A.N took place at the Airport Hotel.
If any one doubts the credentials of Awolowo as a titan in Nigerian politics, such should be asked whether they have across any dying or living whom is constantly referred to as “the safe.”
At the occasion encomiums flowed like a flood poured on “the best president Nigeria never had.” As usual with any Awotalk, the sagacity, organizational genius, thoroughness, integrity, patriotism etc of the late husband of Hannah Idowu Dideolu were high-lighted.
Obafemi Awolowo, died in 1987 at the age of 78 years. If he were alive, he would have been one hundred years. In another twenty-two years, another giant from Ogun State, a lawyer as well and silk too, would be one hundred years old.
This giant was with me on January 19 2009 in Abuja. I was not on holiday and funny enough, I didn’t go there for business, yet I necessarily had to be there. I went to Abuja that day as a warrior. To fight the battle of my career on a turf chosen by my enemies. But ‘small boy’ gecko was not alone. God was with me. Then, one of my three earthly fathers, Daddy 3 was with me. This Daddy is the giant.
For the six years of the battle, the giant has been with me. He’s sticking to his solemn promise he made to me those early turbulent days. Said Daddy 3,
“I will always go with you.
I’ll be there with you, personally”
And that’s what the giant has been doing. And with great style too. What touches me most is the bewildering humility and grace, my daddy brings to the struggle - the giant does not shepherding as if I was the one doing him a favour!
Let me just give you two samples of what I have been stuttering about. The night before we left for Abuja, I was in the giant’s house. The Iroko had been toiling almost all day long on my case. When it was time to go, daddy 3 now offered a special fruit drink, which to my utter embarrassment, he proceeded to serve. Now this was a man who had been called to the bar, some three years before my mother crossed the threshold of marital conjugality!
Secondly after the day’s battle at Abuja on the 19 January, 2009 the giant and I made our way to the Airport. Right from day one, the only thing the giant allows me do for him on such trips and even then, not with some reluctance is to carry his bag. I dare not pay for any expense of his.
At the Airport, the Giant suddenly looked at me and said “well I’ll be traveling. Business class. That meant some seven thousand naira more than the fare of the “Dugbe” class. I had to express my own limitation which restricted me necessarily to go “Dugbe Class”. Then the giant with just the slightest tease of amusement asked “Aren’t you now above fifty years? When I answered in the affirmative saying that my age is at an equidistance between forty and fifty years, the Iroko uttered these unforgettable lines or at least words to that effect:
“So when do you want to start enjoying your life? And before one could say Abdul-Ralmon Shugaba Vs Minister of Internal Affairs, the giant had paid his fare and mine too!
I pray that in twenty years time, Daddy 3 would still be alive. But I don’t want to wait that long to tell of my father’s goodness.
Afterall if the adage is that:
“tomo eni bad a kawi
ki se pe a fe fi se aya
(If one’s child is a beauty let’s say it.
It not as if one is passing the compliment so as to have her for a wife) then my own home made proverb should be true too. The proverb goes thus:
“Bi baba eni ba dara kawi
Ki see pe a fe so do osa”
(If one’s father is good we should say it passing the compliments do not mean we want to make him a deity).
If any one doubts the credentials of Awolowo as a titan in Nigerian politics, such should be asked whether they have across any dying or living whom is constantly referred to as “the safe.”
At the occasion encomiums flowed like a flood poured on “the best president Nigeria never had.” As usual with any Awotalk, the sagacity, organizational genius, thoroughness, integrity, patriotism etc of the late husband of Hannah Idowu Dideolu were high-lighted.
Obafemi Awolowo, died in 1987 at the age of 78 years. If he were alive, he would have been one hundred years. In another twenty-two years, another giant from Ogun State, a lawyer as well and silk too, would be one hundred years old.
This giant was with me on January 19 2009 in Abuja. I was not on holiday and funny enough, I didn’t go there for business, yet I necessarily had to be there. I went to Abuja that day as a warrior. To fight the battle of my career on a turf chosen by my enemies. But ‘small boy’ gecko was not alone. God was with me. Then, one of my three earthly fathers, Daddy 3 was with me. This Daddy is the giant.
For the six years of the battle, the giant has been with me. He’s sticking to his solemn promise he made to me those early turbulent days. Said Daddy 3,
“I will always go with you.
I’ll be there with you, personally”
And that’s what the giant has been doing. And with great style too. What touches me most is the bewildering humility and grace, my daddy brings to the struggle - the giant does not shepherding as if I was the one doing him a favour!
Let me just give you two samples of what I have been stuttering about. The night before we left for Abuja, I was in the giant’s house. The Iroko had been toiling almost all day long on my case. When it was time to go, daddy 3 now offered a special fruit drink, which to my utter embarrassment, he proceeded to serve. Now this was a man who had been called to the bar, some three years before my mother crossed the threshold of marital conjugality!
Secondly after the day’s battle at Abuja on the 19 January, 2009 the giant and I made our way to the Airport. Right from day one, the only thing the giant allows me do for him on such trips and even then, not with some reluctance is to carry his bag. I dare not pay for any expense of his.
At the Airport, the Giant suddenly looked at me and said “well I’ll be traveling. Business class. That meant some seven thousand naira more than the fare of the “Dugbe” class. I had to express my own limitation which restricted me necessarily to go “Dugbe Class”. Then the giant with just the slightest tease of amusement asked “Aren’t you now above fifty years? When I answered in the affirmative saying that my age is at an equidistance between forty and fifty years, the Iroko uttered these unforgettable lines or at least words to that effect:
“So when do you want to start enjoying your life? And before one could say Abdul-Ralmon Shugaba Vs Minister of Internal Affairs, the giant had paid his fare and mine too!
I pray that in twenty years time, Daddy 3 would still be alive. But I don’t want to wait that long to tell of my father’s goodness.
Afterall if the adage is that:
“tomo eni bad a kawi
ki se pe a fe fi se aya
(If one’s child is a beauty let’s say it.
It not as if one is passing the compliment so as to have her for a wife) then my own home made proverb should be true too. The proverb goes thus:
“Bi baba eni ba dara kawi
Ki see pe a fe so do osa”
(If one’s father is good we should say it passing the compliments do not mean we want to make him a deity).
Friday, February 13, 2009
'Living in the Bar' By Adesina Ogunlana
Of course, I know you dear friend was called to the bar. But do you live in the bar? Mind you I didn’t say whether you lived by the bar or on the bar.
Living in the bar can be so exciting, you may not know. To live in the bar is to be an active member of the Nigerian Bar Association, who participates in the various programmes of the association either locally or nationally, even internationally.
Active members of the NBA are called barmen. They are so different from those who merely are lawyers but have little or no contact with the NBA, beyond a nodding acquaintance. Lawyers disinterested in bar activites are like those who have life, but not life more abundantly. Let me give you just a slice of the life in the bar.
On Wednesday 26th of November 2008, a company of Ikeja Tigers set off to Minna in their famous branded bus. They were seven Tigers and one Gecko-Tiger. Traveling by road especially over long distances can be fun, especially where you have wide leg space and you are not driven by a Jehu. Your condition is even made much more interesting by frequent access to repasts of all sorts.
When the Tigers finally arrived Minna, it was 12.00am. But they landed on the laps of a swinging party, made of other bar men from all over the country. That party did not effectively wound up until 4.00am. Of course at the said party much were the tears of Bacchus.
The next morning, the NBA, held her first National Executive Council Meeting under Rotimi Akeredolu SAN as president. As to be expected, when the NBA meets, sparks fly as arguments collide with counter arguments and intelligence swing against knowledge. But it was not only the attendees that created or contributed to the scintillating atmosphere of intellectual engagement.
Check out the M. B. Aliyu the Governor of Niger State. What a witty, profound analytical and erudite speaker! Bashing those Nigerians who claim that Islamic Education is the only worthwhile knowledge to have, the chief servant (that’s how the Niger Governor is officially addressed) declared that they couldn’t be right in the light of the admonition of the Prophet (Mohammed) that in the quest for knowledge, believers should even go to the city of sin (Beijing).
The Chief Servant capped his brilliant submissions and projections when he caused the Niger State Government to donate to the NBA purse, the sum of five million naira only. While the meeting was in progress after the exit of the Governor, a gecko was seen, leaving the meeting place to visit the aviary of the Hydro Hotel, the venue of the NEC meeting.
It was no big aviary and it had only two types of feathered fliers a tribe of geese and a couple of ostriches. It was my first time of seeing live Ostriches. What impressive birds. Those giant birds at full height could not be less than nine feet each and were so big that both could not have measured less than 400 kilogrames. Seeing them with my “korokoro” eyes quickened my understanding of the Bible verse that describes the bird as “the mighty Ostrich that laugh the horse and its rider to scorn”. Too big to be intimidated, I left the Ostriches well enough, to harass the geese. I created a particular squawking noise that got the geese agitated.
On Friday, we bade farewell to Minna. The departure took place in the afternoon and we headed for a town in Osun State. A tilapia (member of the NBA Lagos, a.k.a Lagos Branch) had the wonderful fortune of sharing part of the journey with us. Needless to say he was ribbed to pieces. The poor fish was taken to task why his Premier (soap) branch hardly uses her bus to-travel outside Lagos State. Then he was brutally reminded that given his youthfulness (just in his early forties) he would only become the chairman of his water-logged branch, ruled by gerontocrats, may perhaps in the next thirty years. The fish tried his marine best to counter the Tigers but then the odds understandably weighed too much against him-one tilapia in the (ambulatory) den of seven tigers!
Another guest of the Tigers who chose to travel with us from Minna, a female promissory note and a polygot to boot (when last did you meet an Igbo person who speaks Yoruba with a strong Ekiti accent flavour) was not so troubled. In fact how this post conference material was packaged into the tiger train still remained half a mystery.
When we reached Ilorin at about 8.00p.m, the Tilapia gratefully disembarked. The Tigers kept moving towards their destination in Osun State. About an hour later an unknown creature (I suspected a baby scorpion) deposited a penetrating sting into my behind while I was reeling from shock, bewilderment and pain, the other tigers were in various fits of mirthful amusement. There I was, disturbed, with pain holding an unconstitutional conference in my precious behind and worried at what actually stung or bit me and all the commiserations I could get from fellow Tigers went thus.
“Stop disturbing us my friend. No scorpion bit you, just a small ant and you are shaking like this?”
“Well, ‘they’ finally got you. Since you are proving too difficult for easy disbarment, they’ve now used a different method”.
“Let’s see whether G.O.K (Chief G.O.K Ajayi S.A.N) can bail you out of this?”
“Oh you man of little faith. Just turn your bum to me. I will only need to lay hands on it and the pain will go. But you must have faith o!
One of the Tigers, a leading Pentecostal pastor who managed to pray for me did so with a chuckle in his eyes and a twinkle in his throat. Respite finally came to me when we reached our destination. When the mother of our host heard of my travail, epa ijebu a potent local anti-venom was produced. I became quickly healed when the matriarch ordered for a “Buledi” to be fetched to make an incision on the sting-spot for the medicine to be applied.
I opted to oral and massage therapies and they worked wonderfully well. I fully recovered my joiue vivore in the face of hot amala and bush meat suffused egusi soup that was produced within minutes of our arrival.
The next day, a Saturday was another exciting day spent in company of many tigers and other lesser bar men. The adventures of that day in Ora and Oyan (where Joel Anwo, also a tiger saw off his late father with a befitting burial ceremony) towns will fill a small story book.
Tara! But when will you too start to live in the bar?
Living in the bar can be so exciting, you may not know. To live in the bar is to be an active member of the Nigerian Bar Association, who participates in the various programmes of the association either locally or nationally, even internationally.
Active members of the NBA are called barmen. They are so different from those who merely are lawyers but have little or no contact with the NBA, beyond a nodding acquaintance. Lawyers disinterested in bar activites are like those who have life, but not life more abundantly. Let me give you just a slice of the life in the bar.
On Wednesday 26th of November 2008, a company of Ikeja Tigers set off to Minna in their famous branded bus. They were seven Tigers and one Gecko-Tiger. Traveling by road especially over long distances can be fun, especially where you have wide leg space and you are not driven by a Jehu. Your condition is even made much more interesting by frequent access to repasts of all sorts.
When the Tigers finally arrived Minna, it was 12.00am. But they landed on the laps of a swinging party, made of other bar men from all over the country. That party did not effectively wound up until 4.00am. Of course at the said party much were the tears of Bacchus.
The next morning, the NBA, held her first National Executive Council Meeting under Rotimi Akeredolu SAN as president. As to be expected, when the NBA meets, sparks fly as arguments collide with counter arguments and intelligence swing against knowledge. But it was not only the attendees that created or contributed to the scintillating atmosphere of intellectual engagement.
Check out the M. B. Aliyu the Governor of Niger State. What a witty, profound analytical and erudite speaker! Bashing those Nigerians who claim that Islamic Education is the only worthwhile knowledge to have, the chief servant (that’s how the Niger Governor is officially addressed) declared that they couldn’t be right in the light of the admonition of the Prophet (Mohammed) that in the quest for knowledge, believers should even go to the city of sin (Beijing).
The Chief Servant capped his brilliant submissions and projections when he caused the Niger State Government to donate to the NBA purse, the sum of five million naira only. While the meeting was in progress after the exit of the Governor, a gecko was seen, leaving the meeting place to visit the aviary of the Hydro Hotel, the venue of the NEC meeting.
It was no big aviary and it had only two types of feathered fliers a tribe of geese and a couple of ostriches. It was my first time of seeing live Ostriches. What impressive birds. Those giant birds at full height could not be less than nine feet each and were so big that both could not have measured less than 400 kilogrames. Seeing them with my “korokoro” eyes quickened my understanding of the Bible verse that describes the bird as “the mighty Ostrich that laugh the horse and its rider to scorn”. Too big to be intimidated, I left the Ostriches well enough, to harass the geese. I created a particular squawking noise that got the geese agitated.
On Friday, we bade farewell to Minna. The departure took place in the afternoon and we headed for a town in Osun State. A tilapia (member of the NBA Lagos, a.k.a Lagos Branch) had the wonderful fortune of sharing part of the journey with us. Needless to say he was ribbed to pieces. The poor fish was taken to task why his Premier (soap) branch hardly uses her bus to-travel outside Lagos State. Then he was brutally reminded that given his youthfulness (just in his early forties) he would only become the chairman of his water-logged branch, ruled by gerontocrats, may perhaps in the next thirty years. The fish tried his marine best to counter the Tigers but then the odds understandably weighed too much against him-one tilapia in the (ambulatory) den of seven tigers!
Another guest of the Tigers who chose to travel with us from Minna, a female promissory note and a polygot to boot (when last did you meet an Igbo person who speaks Yoruba with a strong Ekiti accent flavour) was not so troubled. In fact how this post conference material was packaged into the tiger train still remained half a mystery.
When we reached Ilorin at about 8.00p.m, the Tilapia gratefully disembarked. The Tigers kept moving towards their destination in Osun State. About an hour later an unknown creature (I suspected a baby scorpion) deposited a penetrating sting into my behind while I was reeling from shock, bewilderment and pain, the other tigers were in various fits of mirthful amusement. There I was, disturbed, with pain holding an unconstitutional conference in my precious behind and worried at what actually stung or bit me and all the commiserations I could get from fellow Tigers went thus.
“Stop disturbing us my friend. No scorpion bit you, just a small ant and you are shaking like this?”
“Well, ‘they’ finally got you. Since you are proving too difficult for easy disbarment, they’ve now used a different method”.
“Let’s see whether G.O.K (Chief G.O.K Ajayi S.A.N) can bail you out of this?”
“Oh you man of little faith. Just turn your bum to me. I will only need to lay hands on it and the pain will go. But you must have faith o!
One of the Tigers, a leading Pentecostal pastor who managed to pray for me did so with a chuckle in his eyes and a twinkle in his throat. Respite finally came to me when we reached our destination. When the mother of our host heard of my travail, epa ijebu a potent local anti-venom was produced. I became quickly healed when the matriarch ordered for a “Buledi” to be fetched to make an incision on the sting-spot for the medicine to be applied.
I opted to oral and massage therapies and they worked wonderfully well. I fully recovered my joiue vivore in the face of hot amala and bush meat suffused egusi soup that was produced within minutes of our arrival.
The next day, a Saturday was another exciting day spent in company of many tigers and other lesser bar men. The adventures of that day in Ora and Oyan (where Joel Anwo, also a tiger saw off his late father with a befitting burial ceremony) towns will fill a small story book.
Tara! But when will you too start to live in the bar?
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