LOCATIONAL ARITHMETICS By Adesina Ogunlana

Is 2+2 always 4? Constantly 4? Permanently 4? Invariably 4? Absolutely 4? Perpetually 4?
Do you know the answer? If you don’t it is sure proof that you are not an initiate of the supremely poignant science of Locational Arithmetics.

Of course a traditional mathematicial believes and will always believe that 2+2 will automatically and exclusively answer 4.
But we know better. 2+2 is not necessarily 4. it can be 7 or 50, or 1. In fact, it can be anything. And in this contention, the Lord is on my side or better and more truly still, I am on the side of the Lord.
Or is it not written in the Holy Bible that “in the eye of the Lord, a thousand years is like a day and a day like a thousand years?”

To those who are taught and believe in Rigid Mathematics to wit Traditional Mathematics, the scripture afore-mentioned is nothing but an instance of celestial tomfoolery.

For, they are bound to ask, how can a thousand years, if indeed it is a thousand years be like a day – when a day is just a day (24 hours) while a thousand years is a whopping 356,000 days? That, I guess is like saying that the antlers of a reindeer is like the ‘horns’ of a snail!

But we Locational Arithmeticians have no problem with that at all! We know for a truth that the universe is an amoeba and the inhabitants thereof are like changelings or chameleons.

You see the chameleon indeed is the true symbol of the universe’s perpetually changing faces and phases. When his habitat is brown, the ‘leon is in tandem, when orange, the ‘leon leans toward that range, when it becomes black, the ‘leon is not slack to become a fellow of the order of the soot!

In a single planet, there are many worlds and in these different worlds are thousands of varied experiences.
What is, is what, what is is as at when and by who determining what is? You can’t comprehend? Let’s take the issue of prison terms, for an illustration of the seeming puzzle.
Let’s say on January 1, 2009 (Gregorian Calender) a man was jailed by a court for 2 years. When will his jail term end?

The ordinary answer is “December 2010.” Of course that answer is not correct, for when it is August 2010, his jailers will let him out of confinement.

This is because in the world of the prison, a year does not comprise 12 months, or 52 weeks. Rather a year (in the eye) of the prison system has only 8 months, as known in the Gregorian Calendar.
Why is this so? The answer is found in the science of Locational Arithmetics.

In the “outside” world, a week has 7 days, two which days, Saturday and Sunday are days when officially people don’t work.

Only in the prison however, there is, in the eye of the “owners, founders and authorities” of the place no “non-work” days. Every day is a working day for the time server, after all his ‘work’ in the prison yard is to serve time.

Thus in the world of the prison, time is calculated in this fashion:
(1) a week is five days and not seven days
(2) a month therefore is 20 days and not thirty or thirty one days
(3) thus a year is 12 months of 20 days each, making a total of 240 days instead of the normal 365 days.

In prison, 7 days is one week plus two days. There is no weekend as known in the outside world.

If you are still arguing this by now, I have a simple advice for you. You go and get yourself a jail term and see when you will come out!