'The Coup of a Barman' By Adesina Ogunlana

There is an admonition in the Bible for the faithful to show hospitality, eagerly, to strangers, “for by so doing some have entertained angels unknowingly.”
Of course it is such a great thing to have an angel, or even a company of angels as one’s guests.
You should know that I am talking of the real Mcoy. And, not those type of sweet and pretty troubles whose chests are usually corrugated and whose angelity is only of shape, sound and smell.
Last week whilst on the way to Yola, Adamawa state for the first National Executive Committee meeting, some tigers, including my, well, shall we say humble self, had an opportunity to give practice to the Biblical injunction aforementioned.
We had passed Okene, a town in Kogi State which has an intermittent migraine of restiveness and on our way to Ankpa when it happened.
We slowed down and parked our now famous Tiger Train (the 28 seater coaster bus of the Ikeja Bar) by the kerb. A middle-aged Mercedes Benz soon overtook us and dislodged an equally middle-aged man dressed in wine coloured suit and shoes.
The fellow soon rushed over and wasted no time in presenting his case: he was an Okene based lawyer who would not mind riding with the Tigers if they were on their way to Yola for the NEC meeting of the Bar.
He was a complete stranger, laden with two pot bellied bags, fat enough to carry a blunderbuss. But not only were we brave Tigers, but also kindhearted too.
Thus unanimously and without a singular ado, we cheerfully admitted him into our mobile lair. Alas, little did we know that we had brought into our very bosom, a coup plotter!
Except for a few words of polite greetings and the occasional courtesies, the guest kept quiet the first three hundred kilometers of the journey.
However he watched and listened with doze-diluted interest as the Tigers sallied to and fro at one another. Glo, maliciously known as a “stingy treasurer” the only tigress amongst us, inspite of her minority status was not an unmatch for any one of the Tigers, constantly forming and breaking alliances, to survive, only losing out when there was an uneven gang-up against her, especially between Leader, whom she nicknamed Mango Head and ‘Oguns’ cognamed “Heart Breaker” and Faro, whom everybody later discovered had established a very popular and quality table water brand in all the main parties and appurtenances of the old North Central State. For, everywhere you turned in Yola, Jalingo, etc., the dominant table water prudent was “Faro” water.
The extremely long journey eventually ended eighteen eventful hours after it started in Akure, Ondo State, at 5.59 a.m on Wednesday 18th February 2010.
There in Yola, at the Meridian Hotels, the Tigers parted ways with their travel mate.
Two days later, a re-union happened as the angel by the road side successfully sought leave to do a return journey with the Tigers.
The journey back home was less tedious and more fun filled than the visit. A national officer who decided to go half the way with the Tigers could not hide his bemused bewilderment at the way the Tigers poked fun at everyone and everything. Iln all the points of the compass.
The coup plotter a gentle observant fellow, was also at home, throwing the occasional poke, particularly in the direction of ‘Oguns’ who was obsessed with getting “fura de nunu” to drink at all cost.
Several hours later, at Oturkpo, the party had to stop, to effect some repairs on the bus.
While waiting for the restoration and empowerment of the Tiger train to continue the journey without any pericaditis of the wheels, the coup plotter expressed but rather obliquely, his desire for the party to get down at Okene that very day.
After about an hour or so, the surgeons, and quite a tribe of them, declared the Tiger Train a fit and proper vehicle to ply the roads once again.
So the journey continued. Okene was attained at the godly hour of 10.40p.m.
The Tiger guest saw us off to our hotel and then stuck on. Even when offers were made to have our bus drop him at home, he declined the offer stating that he had sent for his car to come and pick him.
Some forty minutes later, his car came. The occupants therein were not limited to the man’s wife and son. The others were a big food flask heavy with steaming white rice, pots of meat logged stew, dodo, vegetables and crates of assorted drinks.
Brethren, it was a sight to behold, for verily I tell you, it was a repast of such quality and quantity that a sight of such could have inspired that psalm of David which stated inter alia:
“A table was set before me and my cups overflowed!”
None of the Tigers expected such a feast. The nobility of it all, for once quietened them, but only for a few seconds.
After snapping out of their shock, they belted out a song:
“For he is a jolly good fellow (3x)
And so sayh all of us Hurray!(2x)
So loudly and raucously did they sing that it was a surprise the walls of the Hill Top Hotel did not come tumbling down.
On account of this coup by Barrister Amaechi Obiechina, former chairman Okene branch, all Okene based counsel are in trouble any time they venture into the jurisdiction of the Ikeja Bar.
After all, one good coup – deserves another!