'Letter to Daddy 3' By Adesina Ogunlana

VOL.14. NO.9, 07-04-14

 

 

Dear Daddy,

I hope you are not cross that I bother you with this letter and so soon too. You are in a place of rest but a child like me cannot and will not allow you to forget that he is around and needs Daddy still.

Our elders say that “oku olomo ki sun.” (“The dead with offspring left behind still keep an eye on them”). I am not too sure whether this applies to the dead who are say, Chinese, British, Hausa, Ibo, Zulu, Egyptian, Holtenpot, Igalla, etc. Those ones may decide to sleep, but the Yoruba dead do not sleep or forget about their offspring; so there!

Today, 7^th April 2014 marks the tenth day since you “crossed the border.” Even though you left us quietly, even stylishly, the “whole Nigeria” has heard about your departure to yonderland.

I am sure you’ve met Baba Awolowo and Chiefs Michael Ajasin and Bola Ige, not to talk of your own dear father, Master. Thank God for Master, who made you abandon the aspiration to become a doctor and turned you into a Barrister.

I am happy to report that your dear wife and our mama, is keeping the home front afloat even though she is missing you terribly. She told me you were not just a husband to her but a father and a friend.

My sisters, Tola and Bola are doing very well too, attending to the unending stream of relatives, friends, neighbours and other fellow Nigerians who are paying condolence visits to the family.

Daddy, is it too late to make a legal practitioner out of Tola? Her mouth is too sharp for an accountant that she is. Accountants are supposed to be dull, wooden figures and saturated mechanical characters, but she is not. She is fond of calling me “Omo Baba” and introducing me to people as “Omo Baba” so I have resolved to pay her back in her own coin. From now on, her name is “Omo G.O.K,” I make a solemn vow to start calling her “Omo G.O.K”; we’ll see who will get tired first.

Daddy, all sorts of wonderful fellows have come to pay condolence visits to Mama. Bola Tinubu the Jagaban was here; Babatunde Fashola of the “Pay your Tax” fame was also here. Ibikunle Amosun too, came calling. His Excellency, Prince Bola Ajibola too. Your aburo Tunji Ayanlaja SAN also came but without his famous Apoti Aje. Mr. Okey Wali SAN, the president of the Nigerian Bar Association in company of several ‘Tigers’ and Dolphins from the Lagoon Bar also came.

The chairman of the Surulere Local Government also came calling, only to be put to task by Mama on the poor condition of the road to the house.

There was this gentleman who also came a visiting. He would not touch the scrumptious small chops offered him on the grounds that tradition forbade refreshment on condolence visits.

But Mama would not hear of any such talk. “Hey, look my dear, we are not mourning here, we are celebrating life. G.O.K died an old man. He was going to mark his 83^rd birthday,” she said.

Daddy, enough of the reports – let me go to my real reason for writing you.

And I ask only one question: Where is the book, the story of your earthly life that I repeatedly advised and requested you to write before your departure to yonderland?  

 http://learnedsquib.blogspot.com/2013/04/if-you-see-my-papa-hosannah-by-adesina.html  

Daddy, where is it?

Well, don’t be too distressed. What a daddy cannot or would not do, his kids can do.

For your information, I am interested in that project; so is Tola. Though you never wrote your Auto biography we shall do your Biography.

Close enough the target, I guess?

Old man, we miss you.  And Bye for now, Sir.

Your Son,

Adesina Ogunlana.

 

 

 

Sight vs. Recognition By Adesina Ogunlana

VOL.14.NO.8   17-03-14

Profound truths are sometimes found in unlikely places. Unlikely places like gamblers dens, motor parks, beer joints and hemp clubs.

REVO-WETIN? By Adesina Ogunlana

VOL.14.NO.7  10-02-14

RUBBISHING THE BAR? By Adesina Ogunlana

VOL.14. NO.6 20-01-14

The life of man is full of ceremonies. In fact our every step and turn is marked with ceremony.

MADIBA By Adesina Ogunlana

VOL.14 NO.5 23-03-13

 

 

Here lies NOT the remains

 of

N.R.M

 

 

A Tale of Two Book Launches By Adesina Ogunlana

VOL. 14. NO.4   02-12-13

Can I make a prediction, please? Thank you for your kind indulgence. Here is it then – in a few weeks time, there will be yet another “book launch,” sorry, “public presentation” of a book or books in honour of the incumbent or do we begin to say even as at now, the out-going Chief Judge of Lagos State, Ayotunde Philips J.

 

 

 

 

On to your Marks 2 By Adesina Ogunlana

VOL. 14. NO. 3  11-11-13

In the name of settlement, Father Lord God, we bless your holy name.

 

 

 

On to your Marks By Adesina Ogunlana

VOL. 14. NO. 2   28-1-14

In our younger years when we were not this old and cold, sports was no fear and scare. We just loved the open fields and the race tracks. Those were the years of the “Inter-House Sports” the dusty fields, the bamboo booths, the village teachers, scout masters and the very excited hordes of gamboling kids. At meets, the best runners were put to test, each representing different ‘houses’. Probably the most exciting of all the races is the 100 meters and next perhaps the 100x4 relay race.

 

You felt the tension high and tight when the race master got ready to send the runners off. You heard the loud shout of “On to your marks”, followed by “Get set”. You noticed the taut muscles and nerves of the runners, their concentrated glare or gaze, all ready to burst into action at the shout of “Go!” or the crack of the race-gun.

 

Within seconds, you see the boys separated from the men; the wheat from the chaff, the rabbits from the rats, the leaders from the followers, the best from the rest. In all my life I have never seen a hundred meters race, where pace equality among the runners from the on-start is maintained up to twenty meters. The race track quickly disproves the fancy that all men are born equal.

 

However a lot of things happen on the tracks, just as in the race of life. Stumbles happen, collisions happen, muscle cramps happen, track fright happen, to the effect that the eventual winner(s) may not be the swiftest or even the smartest.

 

Nonetheless, the track is where the athlete proves his class or mettle. That is the stage that he shows the stuff of what he is made. He writes his report card, testimonial, whatever with his feet.

 

Talking about athletes and their performance reminds of the newly judges of the Lagos State High Court to wit, Safari J., Savage J., Ogunsanya J., Bankole Oki J., Animahun J. and Ogala J. Sworn in a few month ago into the exalted office of high court judge, they are already beyond the stage of “Onto your marks” but already on the tracks.

 

Incidentally, their task is harder than that of the athlete. The athlete runs in competition against a few individuals whose action or inaction and the quality of same actually affect the runner.

 

The judge however is not in competition ordinarily with any other brother or sister (or is it aunty) judge. He is in competition with a stricter, harder and stronger opponent- HIMSELF.

 

Within a few months, or at the most, a year, the whole (litigating) world would soon know what manner of judge is the newly appointed judge. Is he the lazy type or the busy bee? Is he a faint of knowledge or an empty drum? Is he the decent type or a yahoo? Is he a weakling or a lion-heart? Is he a bribe hater or a bribe eater? Overall, is he worth the sacred title “JUSTICE” bestowed on him for life.

 

Just as the athletes are on parade, let our new appointed judges know that all eyes on them.

 

They are now gold fishes with no hiding place. Of course the Bench is a clime different from the Bar. No lawyer, no matter how brilliant and sage is nomenclatured “Honourable Justice”. That should tell our judges something. The very goal a lawyer works for in the best tradition of his profession is JUSTICE, which is the very gold a judge personifies. So why not give the precious and rare commodity you who have custody of it?

 

I commend all you new judges to the care and grace of the Almighty, but we will be there too watching you. Again I pray may the good Lord watch over you all. But we too, repeat, shall watch you too.

 

I rise!

 

 

 

 

 

 

8% By Adesina Ogunlana

Vol.14, No.1  07-10-13

I was at the stakeholder’s summit of the Lagos State Judiciary. Were you there?

GOVERNOR ‘OLORUNJUWON’ EL-MUSTAPHA! By Adesina Ogunlana

VOL 13 NO 17  15-07-13

 

 

 

My Dear Brother,

May I join hundreds of millions of Nigerians, at home and abroad, dead or alive, to rejoice with you on your great deliverance from the lion’s den. You entered the Gulag in 1998 thereabouts and your enemies not only locked the gates thereof but threw the keys away!

 

But they were mistaken. They made a mistake! They forgot that there is a God in Heaven who neither sleeps nor slumbers or even for a moment forgets or neglects his own.

So it is in God’s appointed time that the gates of your Hell opened of its on accord and inspite of everything, here you are back again in the bosom of your long suffering family.

Certainly it is not in easy thing to be away from home for 15 years! My heart goes out to you. In fact since the manner the Lord has made you triumph over your great and powerful enemies, I think you should henceforth as a token of your appreciation of your great deliverance now, and with immediate alacrity add a new name OLORUNJUWON (GOD PASS THEM) and be known called henceforth as ‘JUWON EL-MUSTAPHA.

Your case is the classic proof that “Nobody can take the life of any one, whose life is preserved by the Almighty God. Your military superiors, your political superiors all those “big big oga” were all against you. They desperately wanted you out of the way and for no just cause.

Or were you the one that killed or order killed, Kudirat Abiola? The answer is a thundering no, At least that’s the UNANIMOUS decision of the Court of Appeal Lagos. As an aside again you prove at the end of your travails, that you are one of the exceptional great men, who contrary to norm and history, was saved and not killed by women. The judges who set you and the much maligned Sofolahan free were women-sweet mothers! How can you ever forget them!

My advice to you as a brother and admirer is that you have to make the most of your deliverance. The best any of doing this is to go for the high office of Governor of your beloved state. I would ordinarily have advised (given your great capacity and unparalleled patriotism) that you go for the presidency, because you are the only one who can solve the Boko Haram insurgency, the Niger-Delta Insurgency, the Nasarawa uprising etc, but I so refrain lest your better enemies accuse you of vaunting ambition.

Please and please, do not be dissuaded from contesting the Governorship race. Walahi, I assure you of victory, infact no sane person will dare contest the post with you. Of course no reasonable person will haunt you again with all the allegations (for that’s all what they amounted to) of killing Kudirat Abiola or any other entities like that.

First of all, the law presumes an accused person innocent. But beyond that, the law court, the Court of Appeal for that matter, has declared you innocent. Is the voice of three brilliant judges relying on evidence before them not the voice of God?

Mr. Governor in waiting, your Excellency Major Alhaji OLORUNJUWON El-Mustapha, remember me when you become the Governor of your state. Remember I was the first to advice you to run for that office. When that time comes and it comes very shortly, remember me in your kingdom. But please I don’t want the sterile post of Attorney-General o. I prefer the shiki-shiki portifolo, the Apekanuko office.

Thank you, your Excellency. Bravo!

Yours,

The First Gecko.

 

 

VOL 13 NO. 16

*VOL 13 NO 15

The Playpen Court By Adesina Ogunlana

VOL 13, NO.14  17-06-13

 

Last Friday, I stumbled on a play pen. Right in the heart of the Ikeja High Court. Of course I was downright shocked at my discovery.

 

 

 

BUT WHERE IS JUSTICE ABDUL FATAI LAWAL? By Adesina Ogunlana

VOL 13 NO 13  03-06-13

 

I guess you too were there. Or weren’t you? I talk of the latest batch of high court judges in Lagos. The well attended ceremony took place last week, Tuesday 28^th May 2013 at the Adeyemi Bero Hall Auditorium at the Lagos State Secretariat, Alausa, Ikeja.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

URINE: N10:00K TOILET:N20:00K By Adesina Ogunlana

Vol. 13, No. 12  20-05-13

The Lagos State Judiciary is a 46 year old temple of humans, all too human justice. I shudder to think of human justice, particularly the Nigeria type, but don’t let us go in that direction today. Please. ‘Biko.’

Now That You Are Judge By Adesina Ogunlana

Vol.13, No. 11   29-04-13

My Dear Gani, Michael, Wasiu, Folashade, Sedotan and Oyindamola,

Congratulations on your appointments as judges of the Lagos State High Court. It is surely, a big thing to become not only an elder in one’s profession but an elder in the entire community.

Vol 13, No. 10

This Land of Magic By Adesina Ogunlana

Vol.13, No.9  18-03-13

There was a land once said to be “full of milk and honey.” Another country is acclaimed as “God’s own country”. There is this other clime called “Sambaland.” Yet we know of a country reputed to be the “no man’s land.” Of course, every informed person knows which country is dubbed the “tax evader’s haven.”

Nigeria, our own and only “dear mother land” has so many pet names and cognomens. We have “wazobia land” “naija”. Some call it a “mad country ruled by the mad and for the mad.”

Another popular but obviously unmerited description of Nigeria is “giant of Africa.” Less indulgent appraisers dub it “sleeping giant” while some thoroughly vexed citizens label Nigeria “a failed state” or curse it as a “big for nothing.”

However, I see Nigeria nothing more than a land of magic. What other names do you call magic- Hocus pocus? Abracadabra? Necromancy? Voodoo?

One obvious character of magic is to mock logic, defy reality and perplex reason. Hence, the truism of the saying “The more you look, the less you see.”

There is plenty of magic in “Obodo Naija” and not only is it that that the more you look, the less you see, it is that the more you see, the less you know. We have magic everywhere. Honest. There is magic in the homes. (How else does a peasant wife feed a household of seven on a budget of only three hundred naira, or less daily)?

There is magic on the streets. Magic in the market places, offices etc. There is magic in ‘worship’ places particularly in the churches, mosques, tabernacles and temples. There is magic not only in our sports (that’s the only reason Keshi and his Boys came home with the African Cup).

On top of all this magic is the magic in government places. Plenty of it in all the three arms of government. In the courts, ‘magic dey.’ Well, well (how else did Rotimi Amaechi become Governor of Rivers State in 2007 even when he was never a candidate in the gubernatorial election)? In the parliament (State and Federal levels) the law makers wine and dine by magic. They pass laws magically, (please read profitably). They screen ministers for appointment magically (please read commercially). They perform over-sight functions magically (please read lucratively).

Now the ‘baba’ of them all the ‘Executive’ arm. In Nigeria, the executive arm of government surpasses the other arms in impressive and mind boggling magic. The exco is the very magic in itself. When the executive arm of government acts, you see magic in motion. Pure magic. Breath taking, extra-ordinary magic.

Just some days ago the Federal Government in a magical display of clemency gave pardon to Diepreye Alamasiegha, a gargantuan looter of public funds and transformed a felon who would have rotted to death in jail in saner lands to a snow white gentleman with no blemish at all.

It was a magical move that caught observers napping as usual. The magical transformation of Alams has, as you will sooner than later realize, just started. The man will very soon become a senator, then President of the land.

My only consolation in all these magical developments and displays is that change, positive change can happen to and in Nigeria. Don’t forget that Nigeria is one place where ANYTHING can happen. And that includes REVOLUTION, SOCIAL REVOLUTION, BLOODY SOCIAL REVOLUTION where the heads of pardoners, pardonees and sundry magicians will roll on the ground soaked with their blood. This can happen. In Nigeria. Magically Believe me.

The Parable of Saint Apam By Adesina Ogunlana

Vol.13, No. 8  25-02-13

Some chronic Bar men of the Ikeja Bar extraction addicted to attending the National executive Committee meetings of the N.B.A in far flung places like Outer Mongolia or close byes like Abeokuta under the rocks were determined to be present at Makurdi, Benue State on Wednesday for the second NEC meeting of the Okechukwu Wali’s administration, scheduled for 20^th – 22^nd February  2013.

The take-off time was 6.00p.m. The take off place was the Ikeja High Court. When your take-off time is 6.00a.m for a long, long road journey to a far away place like Makurdi, wake-up time at the latest would be 5.00a.m. If you are serious.

Now the Tigers of Ikeja are serious men. Incidentally all the intending travelers are married. I know some are happily married. Some aptly married. Some haply married. I know. And don’t ask the Otun Ikeja an alleged polyhistor, a First Gecko to boot, how cometh he knew all this?

The D-Day came, like-wise the D-Hour. Alas the take-off time was post-poned. Post-poned by 42 minutes. Courtesy of three late comers.

None of the late-comers had any strong excuse for their lateness. The last-late comer and his miserable travelling bag had no excuse at all and was so unceremoniously scrambled away from the tricycle ferrying along into the Tigers’ Bus.

His two comrades had an interesting but unwadable story to tell. According to “AA” the first of the duo, Apam, the 2^nd late-comer had arranged with him to be picked up in the second’s house by 5.00a.m. When it was 5.00a.m. Apam now informed “AA” that he should come over to a “Sweet Sensation” outlet as he (Apam) was at “Sweet Sensation”

So to “Sweet Sensation” went “AA” and waited in the cold of the early morning in his car for Apam to show up. 5.15 a.m, no Apam 5.30 a.m no Apam. 5.45 a.m, no Apam. By this time “AA” was almost beside himself with worry and exasperation. However “Apam” continued to assure him that he was at the “Sweet Sensation”

It was only when it was 5.55a.m that “Apam” surfaced. Sweating. The duo now hurried to the take-off point where despite AA’s explanations, both were tried, convicted and sentenced holusbolus.

Interestingly Apam got a lighter sentence than AA. Can you beat that? But trust the Panel of Tiger jurists to consider the matter in the most judicious manner.

The presiding judge was his Lordship Dave Ajetom a former aspirant to the office of the A.G Libya upon the fall of Colonel M. Gaddaffi in 2011and a hopeful to the papal throne in the Vatican. He read the lead judgment. Apam as I said earlier got a much lighter sentence than AA. According to his Lordship, Apam who was just newly married, barely two months ago, ought not to have been on the journey in the first place. For obvious reasons. According to the learned judge Apam’s real offence was “Over-patriotism” and cruelty to an Eve specifically his newly-wedded inamorata. Noted the Judge “Apam you ought to be in bed vigorously doing your work and not on the road. You claim to be a Black Jew, so you should know better. In old Israel, husbands of new wives were exempt from civic duties to the state for a whole year to fully face their marital obligations”.

As for AA, this is what the Learned Judge said in convicting and sentencing him.

“I am not in the least impressed by your defence that Apam caused your lateness. You know Apam was newly married and the man was good enough to tell you he was at Sweet Sensation. Sweet Sensation by 5.00 in the morning! Instead of you putting on your thinking cap and come straight over to the take-off point you headed for a wrong address.

Worse you stayed there in the gloom and cold of the dawn in front of an ordinary building. We expect that given your age at the Bar and your high office at the Tiger Bar you would have known better and do better. Sweet Sensation was a parable, alas you took it literally.

But for the fact that you were a first offender and that your’s was a mistake of the head and not of the heart, I shall be lenient with you.

This is my sentence-: ……………..”

The Case Of The Twice Resurrected Squib Case By Adesina Ogunlana

Vol.13, No. 7   11-02-13

On February 27^th 2013, the publisher and editor of the squib magazine Nigeria’s most enduring and whistle blowing legal journal would be off to Abuja. He would not be inAbuja, for a picnic, party or anything somnolent and blissful. Neither would he be there for a romantic excursion or any sort of pleasure trip.

Adesina Ogunlana, a.k.a The First Gecko, a.k.a the Squib Imperator, and a.k.a “Omo were yen”a.k.a“Serubawon”a.k.a“Otun AjagaJigi” would be in Abuja for the continuation of the fight for his legal professional life.

He would be in Abuja standing trial as the Defendant in suit no BB/DCNB/004 NBA Vs Adesina Ogunlana. The suit commenced October 2003, roughly some ten years ago.

Old Squibbers know that the pith of the allegation against the First Gecko was not because he acted the felon or a rapscallion in the discharge of his professional duties, it was because of his tomfoolery in thinking that it was okay and proper to beam strong and critical search-light on the judiciary and her key operators.

The prosecutors are alleging that the much hated but even much more loved publisher had DEFAMED judges of the Lagos State High Court in his 2001 – 2003 write-ups.

The case was first called in October 2003 and nothing was heard again about it for the next few years. Then in May 2007 the case came up suddenly. That was the first “Resurrection”.

Between 2007 and 2010, there were a lot of motion but no movement in the case, as it came up about six times with the Defendant always present and the prosecution witnesses not available. Then in 2010, the Lagos State Judiciary and the NBA decided to end the war of attrition with the Squib. Consequently the then NBA president Rotimi Akeredolu S.A.N wrote to the Body of Benchers Disciplinary Committee (backing his letter with letters from the Lagos State Judiciary and the hon. Justice Ibitola Sotiminu) asking for the dropping of charges against the Squib Publisher.

Consequently nothing was heard of the matter again, until suddenly in January 2013, courtesy of a publication in the Punch announcing that the matter comes up again in Abuja on 27^th February 2013. That was the Second Resurrection.

So how will the case end? And will it ever end? My answer to your questions dear friends and foes is; it will end well. THE HEAVENS WILL NOT FALL!

 

He would be in Abuja standing trial as the Defendant in suit no BB/DCNB/004 NBA Vs Adesina Ogunlana. The suit commenced October 2003, roughly some ten years ago.

Death and the Judge 2 By Adesina Ogunlana

Vol. 13, No.6  28-01-13

Death and the Judge 1 By Adesina Ogunlana