Vol.13, No. 8 25-02-13
Some chronic Bar men of
the Ikeja Bar extraction addicted to attending the National executive Committee
meetings of the N.B.A in far flung places like Outer Mongolia or close byes
like Abeokuta under the rocks were determined to be present at Makurdi, Benue
State on Wednesday for the second NEC meeting of the Okechukwu Wali’s
administration, scheduled for 20th – 22nd February 2013.
The take-off time was
6.00p.m. The take off place was the Ikeja High Court. When your take-off time
is 6.00a.m for a long, long road journey to a far away place like Makurdi,
wake-up time at the latest would be 5.00a.m. If you are serious.
Now the Tigers of Ikeja
are serious men. Incidentally all the intending travelers are married. I know
some are happily married. Some aptly married. Some haply married. I know. And
don’t ask the Otun Ikeja an alleged polyhistor, a First Gecko to boot, how
cometh he knew all this?
The D-Day came,
like-wise the D-Hour. Alas the take-off time was post-poned. Post-poned by 42
minutes. Courtesy of three late comers.
None of the late-comers
had any strong excuse for their lateness. The last-late comer and his miserable
travelling bag had no excuse at all and was so unceremoniously scrambled away
from the tricycle ferrying along into the Tigers’ Bus.
His two comrades had an
interesting but unwadable story to tell. According to “AA” the first of the
duo, Apam, the 2nd late-comer had arranged with him to be picked up
in the second’s house by 5.00a.m. When it was 5.00a.m. Apam now informed “AA”
that he should come over to a “Sweet Sensation” outlet as he (Apam) was at
“Sweet Sensation”
So to “Sweet Sensation”
went “AA” and waited in the cold of the early morning in his car for Apam to
show up. 5.15 a.m, no Apam 5.30 a.m no Apam. 5.45 a.m, no Apam. By this time
“AA” was almost beside himself with worry and exasperation. However “Apam”
continued to assure him that he was at the “Sweet Sensation”
It was only when it was
5.55a.m that “Apam” surfaced. Sweating. The duo now hurried to the take-off
point where despite AA’s explanations, both were tried, convicted and sentenced
holusbolus.
Interestingly Apam got
a lighter sentence than AA. Can you beat that? But trust the Panel of Tiger
jurists to consider the matter in the most judicious manner.
The presiding judge was
his Lordship Dave Ajetom a former aspirant to the office of the A.G Libya upon
the fall of Colonel M. Gaddaffi in 2011and a hopeful to the papal throne in the
Vatican. He read the lead judgment. Apam as I said earlier got a much lighter
sentence than AA. According to his Lordship, Apam who was just newly married,
barely two months ago, ought not to have been on the journey in the first
place. For obvious reasons. According to the learned judge Apam’s real offence
was “Over-patriotism” and cruelty to an Eve specifically his newly-wedded
inamorata. Noted the Judge “Apam you ought to be in bed vigorously
doing your work and not on the road. You claim to be a Black Jew, so you should
know better. In old Israel, husbands of new wives were exempt from civic duties
to the state for a whole year to fully face their marital obligations”.
As for AA, this is what
the Learned Judge said in convicting and sentencing him.
“I
am not in the least impressed by your defence that Apam caused your lateness.
You know Apam was newly married and the man was good enough to tell you he was
at Sweet Sensation. Sweet Sensation by 5.00 in the morning! Instead of you
putting on your thinking cap and come straight over to the take-off point you
headed for a wrong address.
Worse
you stayed there in the gloom and cold of the dawn in front of an ordinary
building. We expect that given your age at the Bar and your high office at the
Tiger Bar you would have known better and do better. Sweet Sensation was a
parable, alas you took it literally.
But
for the fact that you were a first offender and that your’s was a mistake of
the head and not of the heart, I shall be lenient with you.
This
is my sentence-: ……………..”
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