"The Dele Oye Magic' By Adesina Ogunlana

I first heard the story I am about to tell you about twenty years ago. You too probably have heard it – but let me say it all the same. In case.

At a Lagos bus-stop, a pick-pocket had snatched a woman’s hand bag containing a few coins and the usual articles of facial peacockery of the front-loaded variant of humanity to wit lip-stick, powder, eye-liner etc.

It was a successful but perilous snatch. For the victim noticed and boldly raised an alarm. Trust Lagosians. A pursuit team was immediately raised by silent and urgent consensus among the bystanders and passers-by there. The thief was in trouble and he knew it. After sprinting a few yards, he threw the bag down. But his pursuers were not impressed by that, they simply continued with their mandate. Before long they caught up with Mr. “Hot Finger.”
In the midst of the cascades of slap, kicks and blows, Hot Finger was the perfect picture of penitence and remorse. Begging, pleading and remonstrating with those “nemesising” him.

Then at one point, one of the mob, procured a used car tyre and a roar of approval rose from the crowd. Everybody knew that neck-lacing, (the street jurisprudence of roasting by fire a lynch-victim to death) the ultimate street sentence in Lagos was about to take place. However to every-body’s surprise, the now badly battered thief stopped crying and begging for mercy. He managed to rise to his feet and looking death boldly in the face asked in a loud piercing voice:

“Ha, eberu Olorun o
Ki no mo gbe, kileju?
Sentori poosi 50k
Lefi gbe taya wa?

“You people should fear God
What did I steal that warrants roasting me to death?
Because of a fifty kobo purse you brought out a tyre? (to roast me?)

The thief’s questions were an unbeatable summary of all the teachings and precepts on Justice. Since the crowd had no answer to this question, it dispersed quietly, not unlike the Biblical mob that caught a woman in the very act of adultery. I remembered this story whilst ruminating over my own case – Chief Judge of Lagos State Vs Adesina Ogunlana. Every ardent squibber knows about my case before the Legal Practitioners Disciplinary Committee and that I appeared before the committee on the 26th May 2009. A lot of things happened there that day but I want to talk only of what I call the “DELE OYE MAGIC”.
You see Mr. Dele Oye, a most amiable and successful barrister is the prosecutor in my case. Naturally he signed the complaint (charge) against me. That complaint is dated the 25th May 2009 and has three counts. But there is something curious about that first count. Before I go on, may I present you the count in question.

Complaint
1. That you Adesina Ogunlana as a legal practitioner in your capacity as Editor-In-Chief of a Magazine The Squib published in various editions of the magazine dated 18th September, 2001, 17th October; 2001; 21st June, 2004; 5th July, 2004, 21st March, 2005; 15th May, 2006; 24th May, 2006; 15th June, 2006; 6th October, 2006; 29th January, 2007 and 21st May, 2007; articles and/or write ups that contain defamatory words and innuendoes against Judges of the Lagos State Judiciary in the Squib Magazine, that by that publication, you attacked the dignity and reputation of Judges of Lagos State, thereby putting the Judges and the Court into public disrepute, public odium and by the above conduct, you are guilty of professional misconduct, all contrary to Rules 1, 30 31(i), 36 (b) & (e) and liable to punishment under Rules 55(1) under the Rules of Professional Conduct in the Legal Profession and Section 12 of the Legal Practitioners Act as amended.

Of course this is a most curious count. Remember that this complaint emerged after the Chief Bandele Aiku Disciplinary Committee of the NBA in May 2003 recommenced my trial before the Body of Benchers Disciplinary Committee.

The Aiku Committee made their recommendation after an “ex-parte” consideration and treatment of the petition of one Mrs. Justice Ibitola Adebisi Sotuminu, a former Chief Judge of Lagos State against me.
The Sotuminu petition was dated 2nd January 2003. Are you getting the picture, more clearly now? As night follows the day, then the Complaint filed by Prosecutor Dele Oye must follow the charge (another matter entirely) brought to his table, against me. The question you may help ask Prosecutor Dele Oye is simple and is this:- Did Sotuminu’s petition of 2 January 2003 refer in any way or pertain to, or connect with any allegedly defamatory articles I wrote in the Squib of 21st June 2004, 5th July 2004, 21st March 2005, 15th May 2006, 24th May 2006, 15th June 2006, 6th October 2006, 29th January 2007 and 21st May 2007.

Haba, you people should fear God! I must confess at this point even my delicate wife, Ibi, I mean Ibi the genuine article, upon sighting the count in question expressed her disappointment at why the accusation stopped at merely 2007. According to my lady, “they ought to include 2008, 2009 and in fact go right up to 2020, since you are sure to still be writing “defamatory articles” then.

What is Prosecutor Dele Oye trying to turn the Legal Practitioners Disciplinary Committee to? A kangaroo court, where all manners of shenanigans, hanky-panky jiggery-pokery, hocus-pocus and namby-pamby are tolerated, practiced and entertained? Is it not reasonable to wonder at this point whether this curious count is not a real indicator and a Freudian Ship that Prosecutor Dele Oye is part of a plot to see me off the legal profession at all cost and by all means foul?

For where and when did anybody write petitions against me for making the unknown and unstated defamatory publications was in the Squib in years 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007? Where and when also have I been called upon by the NBA to give a response to any such petitions? And where and when did the NBA recommend me for trial before Legal Practitioners Disciplinary Committee for trial in respect of the said articles?

If the answers to these questions are in the negative and they must be, then clearly count 1 is a special contrivance of Prosecutor Dele Oye.
Yet I am in no competition with this man. I am not in interested for example in becoming a silk and both of us are not salivating over any salacious lass or mustering over a common mammon.
So why this?

I guess I have not been lucky with men called Dele in this ease. The NBA official who forgot to append his signature to the NBA letter introducing Sotuminu’s petition to me is called Dele Adesina. He is a Yoruba man. Later he became a Senior Advocate of Nigeria. The elder who headed the NBA Disciplinary Committee who determined the Sotuminu petition against me without bothering too much to hear from me and inform me of their sitting etc is called BanDELE Aiku. He is a Senior Advocate of Nigeria. He is also a Yoruba. The gentleman who is prosecuting me before the LPDC is another Dele – Dele Oye. He is not yet a S.A.N but may God make him one and very soon too. He too is a Yoruba, or at least Yorubaish.

I have checked through the names of the adjudicators in this case and lo and behold, the mercy of God – there is no Dele among them.
Let no one’s heart fail, on my account in this case. I will win it and my enemies will be put to shame.
Where is the initiator of all this action, today? Where is the inheritor? And where will he be soon?
Do you ask me of my audacity? It is in God. When a man boasts in God and says every time in his magazine that-“The Heavens Will Not Fall”, be sure that Heaven will not fail him. No matter what.

By the way Ogostus is slowly fading away. If ever there is any open send-off for the worthy, you can be sure that I and all geckos will be there.
“Apa omode won o ka gi ose”
Please tell them.
“Won kere si number wa, ke”
Please tell them again!