Tuesday, January 15, 2008

'The Dame?' By Adesina Ogunlana

Vol 8 No 6 29th October 2007

THE LEARNED SQUIB


The Bible has a lot of touching, fascinating stories, so much so that some have irreverently, I dare say ignorantly, dismissed the Golden Book as a mere literature tome. Bible stories are really interesting, I tell you; world beater classics. From page 1 to the very end.

Of course, you know the ‘Apple Saga’ of Adam and Eve. What of the Grass to Grace epic of Joseph the Dreamer. Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of the parting of the Red Sea? What of David and Goliath? Fabulous Solomon is also there. What of the heroics of the various Prophets, Princes and Principalities?

To me, one of the most intriguing Bible stories is that of the Prophet/Leader Moses. This was a man who became a revolutionary at the tender age of 40. He launched his career by felling a human being with some choice blows to, I guess, the head. The slain man was an oppressor of Moses’ folks, the Israelites. The next day, after this quick but murderous justice delivery, the emergency saviour, waded uninvited into another fight. This time, a fight between two Israelites. Right in the middle of his self-appointed adjudication, one of the parties (bet he was the defendant), brought a preliminary objection, challenging the competence of Justice Moses to entertain the suit. The defendant said and I quote:

“Who made you a judge over us?” Now instead of Moses showing his credentials, he showed them something more emphatic – his pair of heels.

Like that unknown jurist who sent Moses packing by exposing him as an impostor, I am constrained to ask a learned friend of mine, a similar question. The learned friend, is, was, and is once again now, a member of the NBA Lagos Branch. The learned friend is a woman or do we say lady. She has keen interest in bar politics and has for quite some time now (since 2002) been angling for the job of the General Secretary of the NBA.

This my learned friend has a pet name for herself: “The Abraham Lincoln of the NBA.” Maybe she is entitled to that cognomen – after all, it is not everyone who can keep their chin up after four successive heavy electoral defeats.

The question I have for my learned friend is this:

“Who made you a Dame over us?”

According to my dictionaries, a ‘Dame’ is (at least) a married woman, the wife of a noble man. But our own dame is not married to anybody, titleholder or no. I really wonder at Carol Ajie why this damn, sorry, dame thing? Is it because of the fame of the name, dame?

Carol, I ask again, who made you a dame over us? And when? And where? And how?

Until you give answer to these questions, you remain to me ordinary Carol, Carol onikaba, if you like.

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