'The Waterfall Division' By Adesina Ogunlana

Vol 8 No 9 19th November 2007

THE LEARNED SQUIB

The few times I have stolen time to watch the WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE? show on television, I have found it quite interesting. The show has a few interesting condiments of excitement, guaranteed to fascinate and exhilarate at the same time.

My favourite condiment? The presenter? No. The audience? The gadgetry and setting? No. The Questions? No. The Answer Options? No. The Answers? No.

By now, you are probably twisting your nose and wondering at the direction of my thoughts? If you think I am daft or something similar, you won’t be quite wrong. Come to think of it, how much brains does a gecko have?

Now let me tell you the aspects I really enjoy in the show. It is the combination of question and answer options. The questions thrill me a lot. They range from sun-up to sun-set. They stretch from the Sahara to Ice-land. They rise from the earth and reach to the heavens. The questions cover all the colours of the rainbow

Little wonder then that you find some of the questions so simple that even a yam head will not spend a second in answering them. Yet there are some questions that will throw just about anyone except rara avis with splinters of Solomonic sagacity or those with microfilmed encyclopedia tucked deeply away in their medulla oblongata. However, more fascinating and titillating and not infrequently maddening are the answer-options provided. They often render many contestants confused and dazed.

At least two of these options will seem to be the right answers. But there can only be one correct answer. So dilemma arises.
In this article today, I, suo motu, create the SQUIB version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Anybody who wins becomes a Squib millionaire. Automatically. I have Three Questions for interested readers.

{a} How many divisions {e.g Lands, General Civil} does the Lagos State High Court have?
OPTIONS: {A} 5, {B} 8, {C} 7 and {D} 6

{b} Who are the judges in the Waterfall Division?
OPTIONS:
{a} Oshodi, Akande, Ayo and Coker
{b} Coker, Nicol-Clay, Obadina and Olokoba
{c} Oyefeso, Coker, Oshodi and Kayode-Ogunmenkan
{d} Oshodi, Coker, Okunnu and Oyefeso

{c} Why is the Watefall Division so named?
OPTIONS:
{a} Because the courts in the division float on water.
{b} Because litigants in courts in the Division are all from
Osun-Osogbo grove.
{c} Because water from the air conditioners in the four courts
in the division escape into the corridor, flooding the whole place and runs down stairs every day yet nobody cares about the situation even though moss and fauna are growing steadily on the wet and increasingly slippery surface.
{d} Because the courts in the division deal only with maritime cases.

To increase your chances of making correct choices, I give you these useful tips:

{a} The Waterfall Division is exclusively located in Compound A of the Ikeja High Court.

{b} All the judges in that Division are below 50 years of age.

{c} Only one of the judges is a male, the rest are females.
So, now my dears, Who Wants To Be A Miliionaire? Squib Millionaire.