Thursday, January 24, 2008

'The Secret Impediment' By Adesina Ogunlana

Vol 8 No 14 21st January 2008

THE LEARNED SQUIB

About two years ago, the Tigers of Ikeja (NBA, Ikeja) launched the foundation of a new, bigger and better secretariat. The Chief Tiger who pioneered the tall dream is an equally tall man, Adekunle Ojo. When his successor, Niyi Idowu, came on board there was great expectation that the project would develop in no time.

Many could see, literally, the new architectural master piece that Ojo dreamt about fully built within a year. That was then. Since Ojo left, the F.R.A. Williams Bar Centre as the new secretariat will be known is no where near completion. In fact, for many months, the structure remained as Ojo, the then Elekun of Ekunland left it.

To make matters worse, even the fence round the secretariat-in-embryo, in response to the heavy winds and rains of July - September 2007 fell under the spell of the law of gravity.

The new but out-going executive council of Niyi Idowu rose to the occasion. Work started anew, and the result is visible - walls have sprung up on the site. However, the progress made so far on the development of the centre is not good or fast enough, as far as many Tigers are concerned.

There is a theory that says the slow progress is due to the shortness of the knife. There is this diagnosis that the problem is with the yam, that it is too hard and thick. Yet there are those with propositions suggesting that the problem is that of the cooks.

Let me assure you that, all speculations such as these ones miss the point and very widely too. The reason why the new Tiger Den has not risen to its magnificent fullness and wonder is because there is a hidden impediment to its structural growth. The impediment is secret, subtle and spiritual. You see the ground upon which the New Den is to rise upon is polluted and unless special cleansing is carried out, I am afraid, building the F.R.A Williams Bar Centre will become an Israelite journey at best, a mission impossible at the worst.

For an effective cleansing up of a polluted site, one should know the nature of the pollution, especially the type and form of pollutant, as well as the strength, size and spread of the injurious stuff.

The knowledge of all these will guide the preparations and efforts of the cleanser.
Fortunately this is where we have got luck - there are a few of us, Tigers, who know what the pollutants are. And if only you too will take more than a passing interest in the lawns and grounds of the NBA Ikeja Bar Centre, at Compound B of the Ikeja High Court Premises, then you will see the “troublers of Israel.”

These pollutants virtually litter these places, so 'un-few' that you could see them dotting the landscape and even flourishing under flower beds and nearby gravel heaps.
What am I talking about? The pollutant under reference, has a popular and officially recognised name. But it has many nicknames. Some call it 'rubber,' some call it ‘rain coat’ some name it ‘security’ and some others tag it ‘insurance.'

That this pollutant has so many aliases should not surprise any able-bodied men and women. It is a most essential equipment for conquistadors of love who must explore the depths and thrills of passion in fused togetherness, with a fair degree of peace of mind, if not serenity.

I wonder why some people can be so outrageous in conduct. It is bad enough that of all the buildings in the High Court, the Tigers’ Secretariat is the preferred Love Garden of certain people. But to lack the grace, tact or reverence, not to leave evidence of their sexcapades in form of those “last lines of defence” on our secretariat grounds is taking the affront to the hilt.

Haba! Condoms here, condoms there, condoms all over the place. Tigers should wake up. We must be vigilant and be prepared to eat raw, any ‘rubber-dumper’ we find on our grounds.
Of course, we must act quickly to cleanse our secretariat. If we take this task as a mere joke, then too bad. After all I have told you the consequences of continuous condoning of (used and tortured) condoms on our land.

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